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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have taken a photo of poorly DD?

18 replies

DoingTheSchoolRun · 12/01/2015 08:40

So far this academic year (ie since Sept) I have had time off for 4 hospital appointments, with one more coming up (this might need 2 days off to allow me to recover after a minor procedure). Also I have had time off on one other occasion when DD had a stomach bug.

She's sick again today. I took a quick snap of her with my phone after she was sick, I wiped her face and gave her a cuddle first, but thought it was a good idea in case my employer thinks I'm taking the piss with all this time off. I got the idea from the thread about school absences, but now I think I have been cruel to DD by not getting her changed etc as quick as I could have done.

OP posts:

SnowWhiteAteTheApple · 12/01/2015 08:46

Not something I would have done but each to their own.

Is your DH doing his fair share of sickness cover days rather than one employer taking the brunt of them all?

OrangesJuicyOranges · 12/01/2015 08:52

It is a bit weird and I'm not sure what an employer would think. If they already think you're faking it then they would just think taking a photo was even odder.

Mrsjayy · 12/01/2015 08:54

Yes yabu your poor daughter would you like someone to take a pic of you after you had vomited I don't think your employer needs vomity proof

CaulkheadUpNorth · 12/01/2015 09:00

So the hospital appointments take up the whole day?

I think yabu to take a photo, and a little bit odd.

nagynolonger · 12/01/2015 09:03

I've not done that OP but I did take pictures of various rashes when they were little. One DS had a bad allergy rash that seemed to disappear by the time I got him to the GP surgery. So I took a pic just to prove I wasn't making it up. I've got a few of them asleep on the sofa when they were not well too. I'll probably throw them away eventually.

notagainffffffffs · 12/01/2015 09:03

Little bit odd

CrohnicallyCold · 12/01/2015 09:06

DH doesn't do the 'short notice' cover like this, as he goes to work earlier than I do, and works further away, and does longer days. It seems silly for him to miss a full day at work so he can come home to take over and allow me to get to work late, for me to do the remaining 2 hours of my shift (I work PT). He did, however, take time off when DD had chickenpox so I didn't need to.

WRT the hospital appointments, I arrange them outside of work hours as much as possible (as well as the 5 in work time, I have had/will have 3 outside of work time).

Anyway, looks like vomity proof is a step too far, so I won't show it to my employer. I will reiterate that I am happy for them to view appointment letters etc if they wish.

I am just concerned because although I have a few chronic conditions, they're not disabilities so I'm not covered under the Equality Act.

CrohnicallyCold · 12/01/2015 09:09

caulk I only work mornings. If possible I do go to work before/after an appointment. But with travel time, awkward appointment times and appointments running late, I do usually need the full morning off.

ghostspirit · 12/01/2015 09:10

my kids would not care if i took a pic of them when they were unwell. they would probably ask to look.

schools get funny about kids having time of school secondry seems worse. my 12 year old has had a few bugs/sickness so had time of and i was told the next step is warning type letters.. i contact my gp and have it recorded that i have contacted them and that my son has been ill. so its on record if something trys to bite my butt.

work wise i have found it hard as well. if my 12 year old is ill he stays home alone. but if the 7 or 4 year old is ill. i have to stay off. i dont have any family support or friends etc that would have them. so its really hard. saying that it has got a bit easyer for me lately as my 17 year old can have them as long as its not a monday or tuesday so i now have some help. but i have been warned in the past. i dont know what employers think we can do :/

SnowWhiteAteTheApple · 12/01/2015 09:11

Your DH needs to help with the sickness cover unless you discover it after he has left. It doesn't matter who works fewer hours. We have always split the days so that both employers know we take time off seriously and try and minimise it.

Its not a photo your employer will want to see but a genuine effort to get to work as much as possible.

CrohnicallyCold · 12/01/2015 09:16

snowwhite it's unusual to discover sickness before DH has left tbh, as he leaves before we get up. Like I said, when it was chickenpox so we knew she'd be off nursery, I didn't have any time off.

ThatBloodyWoman · 12/01/2015 09:24

I don't think you should have took the photo,but move on.
Do not confuse your time off sick with dc's time off sick.
You should arrange hosp appts outside work where you can,but if you can't,you can't.
Bear in mind that you are only able to take reasonable time off work as emergency time off for dependants.I think you need a future contingency plan.
I do not think the time off yet is unreasonable.Life just clusters a bit sometimes.

ProudAS · 12/01/2015 19:01

OP if you have chronic conditions the EA may well apply and the fact that you have frequent hospital appointments would suggest that it does.

If they are well controlled the criteria is based the effect they would have without the treatment etc. Also, I think the cumulative effect of multiple conditions can count as a disability even if the separate conditions don't.

katese11 · 12/01/2015 19:03

Did the OP just name change? I'm so confused...

CrohnicallyCold · 12/01/2015 20:00

Yeah, sorry kate I forgot I did that!

Thanks proud I didn't know that it was based on the effect without treatment. In that case it definitely will apply.

katese11 · 12/01/2015 20:00

No problem...Hope your dd is better soon

ZingTheGreat · 12/01/2015 20:03

are you new to Mumsnet?

CrohnicallyCold · 12/01/2015 20:07

Not really, why?

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