to ask how concerned I should be about 8yo in a toddler bed

[MsColouring]

My 8 year dd old still sleeps in a toddler bed when she has contact with her dad. AIBU to feel she should be in a proper sized bed by now? She says she sleeps fine in it. She also shares a very small room with her 5yo brother which I don't have an issue with at the moment but we do have a family history of early puberty (I started periods at 9) so it may become an issue in a couple of years.

I slept in a toddler bed with first 2 dcs on a regular basis, i was comfy. Im 5ft. now im too fat with dc4

Ikea toddler beds are 160cm long, so perfectly fine for most eight year-olds.

Dd who is 15 sleeps in a small tent with her db who is 12, for 6 weeks every summer . For occasional use its ok for siblings to share .

Yabu sounds like you are trying to look for an issue where there isn't one.

It's probably to save a bit of space in the room, as for puberty issues you're worried about something that hasn't even happened yet.

That's life.

When puberty does happen I would just change it to week 1 son goes to dad then week 2 daughter goes to dads.

Am guessing it is for space-saving reasons too. Not sure what other sinister motive there could be.

I have never really understood toddler beds unless you are really short of space. DS has had a normal single bed (with a bed rail) since 13m. Makes it easier for snugly stories too.

If she is comfy and small built I don't really see a problem is her brother in a small bed as well if yes then I don't see a problem if her brother had a big bed then yes I would be questioning your ex .
Ds2is small built and was in one till 7 it was more due to small room but if he had been normal size for a boy his age then it would have been an issue .

It wouldn't bother me as long as DD was happy.

I shared a room with my brother at that age, and an even smaller room with him when we were 13 and 9.5 because our stepdad "needed" a whole separate room for his collectables. It wasn't ideal, but one of us would get changed in the bathroom (probably DD's preference if she's "on"). My friend at the time used to alternate weekends with her brothers, but her dad wasn't washing the sheets inbetween times, so she felt it was barely any better than sharing the room. (Mine was slack too, but at least I didn't share my bed with anyone else!) Based on my own experiences I can see why "abuse" alarm bells ring for people when they hear about siblings sharing, but if sharing is the worst of the situation and the bed fits her properly for now they will probably be fine. Just tell her to be sure to let you know if the bed or her brother's company or anything else becomes uncomfortable, because you're probably right to worry that she wouldn't like to upset her dad and you know him better than she does as an adult.