if i keep a dog its noones business

[lickingstars]

So a dog turned up at our house just before Christmas I took it in and we cared for it over Christmas. In the new year we eventually got in touch with the council and discussed options and they took the dog to a local shelter for a bit and said if we wanted her they would call in a week and ask us before they let her out to adoption.
The house was really wired without her. I missed her at night and the DCs missed her so when they called I said yes.

Financially we had been planning to get a dog for about a year then my DH died and I didn't even think about. But we can afford the insurance and food costs that come with a dog.

We had a dog for 10 years before this who died 5 years ago and we were waiting for the DCs to get a bit older before we got another dog. I have had dog nearly all my life so I know the commitment that is needed.

She is great with the DCs. They love her and I have now said we can name her because she is living with us now. Turns out they had secretly named her over Christmas.

I work part time 3 days a week but I can come home in my lunch break and walk the dog and my PILs pop in to see her somedays.

More importantly I have seen the DCs smile so much more when we took her in and she is giving us a reason to get out the house.

But I have had loads of comments saying that I haven't thought it through. That I am trying to fix the loss with the dog. That it's too soon to bring new things into the DCs lives. That I am not thinking straight and I will regret this.

But it just feels right a bit like she came to us at the right moment and we all needed each other. But that is obviously over sentimental.

So what do we think? Is it too soon or should everyone just stop pocketing their noses in.

Keep the dog

And a nice picture of her please when you've brought her home

Research would say they are wrong. There is lots of really good evidence that pets and dogs in particular are exceptionally helpful to bereaved children. Dogs tend to just listen without judgement, they never speak to anyone else about what they hear, children find this exceptionally helpful. In the USA there are counselling dogs that work with young bereaved children.
You have to get up and walk you dog, physical exercise and fresh air don't fix anything, but they can help a lot.
They give everyone in the family something else to talk about and a way of meeting new people.

They would be right to be cautious if it was something you were thinking of in the abstract (going against the grain slightly!) - a friend of mine for a dog when her husband left as the house was so quiet.

Her circumstances were so different to yours however and besides - the dog is now an established fact in your life and sounds a lucky hound :) enjoy her!

Ignore the naysayers. They've no right to judge you. I should think they are just being cack-handed rather than intending to offend you.

I am sorry for your loss. If having the dog helps, and has long been planned for then it just sounds "meant to be", so enjoy.

This brought a tear to my eye. Holly was meant to be

That's a lovely story that you all found each other at the right time. I had lots of similar nay-saying from my sister before I got my dog, and I thought long and hard about it. Turns out to be one of the best things I've ever done.

Holly, great name and another vote for a piccy.

It's one thing for someone to wonder whether you're doing it for the right reasons, but completely another to overstep the boundary and say it, making you feel uncomfortable about something you've already decided is best for you and your DC.

It's lovely Boaby and her mum got comfort from the little dog, and felt it did fill a small part of the dad shaped hole that was left, but you can only come to that conclusion yourself. It's not for anyone else to dress up a criticism of your decision in a 'I'm only saying it because I care' guise by suggesting you can't think for yourself.

Definitely don't feel guilty because they decided to voice things they should have kept to themselves.

So you can afford her.
You've already cared for her and know her and she knows you.
You've already bonded with her.
You've had a dog before and know the commitment it entails.
You were planning to get a dog soon anyway.

Er....not quite seeing why people have a problem.

Sounds like Holly found a great home and you can offer her a lovely life. Congratulations. Sounds like a Disney happy ending to me!

I am not a lover of dogs but i say if the dog helps you and your child then i say keep it!! Goodluck :)

She sounds like serendipity to me.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Sorry for what you have been through losing your DH
If you had chosen to get a dog then it would be no-one else's business, but the fact that Holly found you - it's meant to be.
If it helps, after my DF died a dog found us and he is a much loved family member now. Having a dog around will really help your DCs too.
Photo please!

Sounds like a perfect situation to me, I'd just enjoy her x

Another one who thinks it was meant to be. It's like an episode of the Littlest Hobo! That always used to make me cry.

If you love dogs a home is not complete without one. They are a lot of work, but it is nice work. Feeding, walking and training can all be fun if you like doing them. Personally I would always want a dog if i could look after it properly. So i think sounds like a very good idea all round.

Sounds as thoughHolly has fallen on all fours paws at your house she is so lucky to have found you,tell your neighbours to mind their own and that you & your children are very happy she has arrived.