To think friend is trying to sabotage my diet!

[WendyBloomers]

I've been going to the gym and eating healthily since around June last year, and so far I've lost about 2.5 stone so I'm quite chuffed!

I was pretty addicted to chocolate, biscuits and the like before I started so the best thing for me to do is to go cold turkey on it all, I don't really miss it too much when I'm into it but I do get a craving now and again.

The problem is one of my closest friends is forever offering me this, that or the other saying 'go on, it won't hurt you!' I know it wouldn't hurt but the point is I'm being disciplined and abstaining! It's really annoying me, she's quite snarky sometimes too, for example if she wants to meet up for food I'd rather go somewhere with a wider ranged menu so I can pick something not too unhealthy but she'll always insist on going for a Chinese or Indian instead and eye roll if I say I'd rather not!

I guess it might sound quite petty but it's starting to really get on my nerves, and just to be clear I never bang on about my diet or gym routine or whatever as I can imagine it's pretty boring to listen to.

Come to think of it she hasn't actually once said I look like I've lost a bit of weight which does seen strange as it's not as if we're not close friends and I'd be offended!

I've always been the chubby one of the group and I'm starting to think maybe she doesn't want me to lose any more weight as we're more or less the same size now, and all the snarky comments and suggestions of meeting up in dieters nightmare locations (last month she suggested we go to an ice cream parlour- but she didn't want an ice cream!) is starting to seem like a deliberate act of sabotage! I haven't mentioned this to anyone in RL just on case I am indeed the unreasonable one..

I've lost a lot of weight. It has coincided with an utterly vile woman at work putting on a lot. I'm now a small 14/large 12, so really not overdoing it and losing 1 to 1.5 lb per week. She repeatedly brings me in cake and tells me (like I'm a child), that I am not allowed to lose any more weight.

She's vile for many other reasons but this is one example.

A friend posted a picture of herself holding some flowers on fb a few days ago. Recently she's been on a health kick. About four people said "don't lose more weight!" which is ridiculous. She is not "too thin" as one said. She looks lovely, and its her body. I couldn't believe these were her friends!

First thing, congratulations! You've done awesome, its so hard to lose weight, it takes such discipline.

She's jealous and intimated that you are hotter and thinner than her.

I had a 'friend' like this once, she knew I was dieting and used to buy me boxes of chocolates! Same comments too, 'oh, it won't hurt' etc etc.

Sounds like you need new friends, or play her at her own game, go for ice cream and then just have a bottle of water!

Just one more thing, notice that its only ever women who say stuff like that, never men! Think it's women's natural competitive (bitchy) nature.

Nonsense, Toffee - there isn't any such thing as 'women's nature', bitchy or otherwise. Western women have been socialised to think that they are more important as bodies than as minds, and encouraged to rate their total worth as human beings according to an arbitrary standard of thinness, prettiness, groomedness viewed as sexually appealing to men. Men are still exempt from the vast majority of this cultural pressure, are considered to be more than their looks, and are as a result far less liable to regard another man becoming more attractive to women as a threat.

I've lost four stone myself since the summer, and the reactions from a number of people have been, shall we say, interesting... I live in a different country to my family, so they hadn't seen me as I got gradually thinner, just suddenly met a different-looking me. I don't think I'd realised just how much my two sisters had internalised the family dynamic that I was the 'fat, plain clever one', and they were the 'less-cerebral but good-looking ones'... What do you do when the fat one stops being fat?

Tomato based Indian Curries are not too bad, just stay away from the cream based ones... So healthier options available at the Indian too.

Haha yes, especially when she's still clever!

I always feel that it's best to say directly what's annoying you, instead of seething. Why not just say to her, "Look, I want you to stop offering me the foods I no longer eat. I'm sticking to my diet and you are not to keep doing this. If you do, I shan't be going out with you again. Okay?" A brave attitude like this should put a stop to her dominating behaviour.

And wow! Well done for losing all that weight! I could do with being about 3 stone lighter.

Sadly, I just bought yet another packet of crumpets at Tesco.
And some Kerrygold butter.