To be pissed off about a snotty letter re ds's attendance?

[Whowillsaveyoursoul]

He's in year one and had four days off last term. He had a sickness bug two of the days and a chest infection the other two. The chest infection was quite nasty actually but happily tagged onto a weekend and half term otherwise he'd have missed more days than he did. Maybe they think we went on holiday?!
Anyway Aibu to think 'get lost' - what do they want me to do? Send a vomiting 5 year old into school? Send a child with asthma who can't breath properly and with a temperature of 40 into school?
Hopefully he won't have any more time off - the letter says 'whilst we appreciate there may have been valid reasons for the absences we hope we have your full cooperation to ensure there are no further absences next term.'
How would the like me to ensure that my child doesn't catch norovirus? I'm really cross!

Just read back.

Agree with motherof dragons. And the letter to the child with a life limiting illness is unforgivable.

They would have a field day if my son was at this school, he has had a bug every fortnight since starting in September. Luckily our school is very understanding.

My dd was sent home by school nurse after vomiting in the teachers bin , they phoned me to come and get her , they text me later to say she was marked as unauthorised absence as she was in school that morning and no had seen her after she went to school nurse , can't believe they didn't check first .

This annoys the shit outta me as well, I have an autistic 7 year old who has to miss a few days of school due to appointments at the hospital, and end up getting letters.

It also boils my piss when children get prizes for there good attendance, while my child comes home and doesn't understand why he never gets any.
He stands out enough without him having to feel that his autism makes him miss out due to his appointments.

He hates being different enough.

My DD suffered years of bowel problems and missed quite a bit of school due to illness and the never ending appointments. Eventually she had an operation and which actually solved the problem. It was only after all this when her attendance had markedly improved her primary school reported us to education welfare. What a bunch of bastards they are. The last time I saw them I was giving up smoking and with the nicotine gremlins cheering me on, told them in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't be seeing them again, that from the start they had just used family to justify their jobs causing an immense stress to my family, that my DD's improved attendance had nothing to do with the bullshit monitoring and meetings and everything to do with me and her gastroenterologist doing everything we could to resolve the medical issues which had been keeping her from school. And if they wanted attempt to fine me over this then to bloody bring it on because at that point nothing would make me happier then seeing them all in court.
It still makes me furious years later the way we were treated by these fools. I understand that there are families who don't send their kids to school for whatever reason but hounding and bullying, especially for absences supported by medical documentation, doesn't help anyone.

Sending a computer generated letter to those whose absence goes above a certain level isn't so much the issue as the wording of this particular letter which is appalling.

'whilst we appreciate there may have been valid reasons for the absences'

Implies that they don't know if there are valid reasons or not, when in fact OP has already gone to the effort of telling them the reasons. Alternatively, it implies that they don't know whether or not to believe her.

'we hope we have your full cooperation to ensure there are no further absences next term.'

Really does ask for a response along the lines of;

'As I cannot guarantee that my child won't be ill next term, please could you confirm in writing that you expect parents to send sick children into school. Also can you detail the arrangements that will be put in place for nursing care to be provided for these sick children when they are in school'

If parents who care about their child's education are expected just to ignore it, why would those who don't care be expected to take notice.

yes the letters are computer generated, but computer generated does not mean computer written! an actual person wrote that letter and set it up as a template. It is entirely reasonable to say hang on a minute...

Unfortunately though parents don't make it easy for schools. Whenever there's a thread about a parent wanting to take their child out for a holiday, there's always a chorus of "just ring in sick". Means schools do have to take any sickness with a pinch of salt.

Ds1 was sent home I'll Thursday lunch time, he was still not well Friday morning and I called him in sick. "Well I hope he'll be well for Monday" said in the most patronising voice ever! You sent him home ffs!

Ds (12, yr 8), has had an assembly this week in which they were told they are not allowed to be off ill, and that they couldn't be off with the flu because they have all had the flu spray!!!

I too agree that 'computer generated' is crap! They are signed by the head teacher/ head of of Lower school whatever , they have put their name to it an must take responsibility for it.
Our school have found a bit of a way round it, by phoning up to warn you the letter is coming, that it is a thing they are forced to do, and to ignore it unless it is something you want to discuss with them..

From the admin office point of view - we found, the majority of the time, the parents who responded to the letters were not the ones we were then concerned about. It was the students whose parents did not contact the school that then became more of an attendance issue and then needed further help/investigation.

We also found that the letters did help and attendance did improve. As a school, a one-off block of say 3-4 days off for an illness was not a concern, it was when a student was having a day here and a day there every couple of weeks and parental contact was sporadic that would flag a concern.

And yes, as much as annoyance it is, we do have to provide evidence that attendance is monitored, parents have been contacted, response from parents and what the next step was. Over the years, this process has become even more rigorous due to child protection issues (Baby P) - we have done daily phonecalls, letters home, appointments for parents to come into school, home visits by the school and more often than you would think, contacting the police/social services to do home visits to check the student is not at risk. At times, when you realise the home life some students have, it is an awful job.

To send a letter or phone call or any kind of electric communication accusing someone of something they havent done or something awful that they have done which isnt true and which causes distress is an offence under the Malicious Communications Act.

helena, the OP didn't say the letter accused her of doing something she didn't do, did she?

Or did I miss that bit?

helena malicious act? accusing someone of something they haven't done?
Ridiculous. It's a standard letter sent out to encourage attendance as requested by OFSTED. It is overreactions like yours that really piss those of us off that work in education.

Scrawl ODFOD across it in black marker and send it back to them! (Then name change)

Those letters are accusing parents of keeping their children off school for no good reason. Thats accusing them of something they havent done.

Communication which causes distress and anxiety.....see Mosquitos post.

wiki.openrightsgroup.org/wiki/Malicious_Communications_Act_1988

I think it's perfectly ok to question any rules and procedures in school, provided you're polite and reasonable about it. School staff are often parents, too, and understand the frustrations around attendance.

All those posters suggesting the OP gets really arsey about this letter are way off the mark. Stick to the facts, don't lose your temper, just make it clear you informed the school about the child's absence therefore it should be really easy to check that the absence was for genuine illness.

As PP have said, pick your battles.

v.uk/ukpga/1988/27

1. Offence of sending letters etc. with intent to cause distress or anxiety.E+W

(1)Any person who sends to another person— (a)a letter, electronic communication or article of any description which conveys— (i)a message which is indecent or grossly offensive; (ii)a threat; or (iii)information which is false and known or believed to be false by the sender; or

INFORMATION WHICH IS FALSE AND KNOWN OR BELIEVED TO BE FALSE BY THE SENDER.

Those letters are accusing parents of keeping their children off school for no good reason.

Please cut and paste the part of the OP's letter that says this.

Ds had low attendance throughout his time in mainstream but we never received a letter like this. If schools are sending them it is because they are choosing to, not because they have to.

I'd love to know the bill for sending letters the winter term there was a horrible virus and a lingering DV bug.

They hit the staff as well as the pupils, to the extent that the HT said they were running out of supply teachers.

Consequently everyone knew no one was lying, kids and staff really weren't fit to be in school.

But still letters were sent.

Madness as whole year attendence figures were perfectly reasonable as the DV season had blown it's self out way before Christmas and jan/feb were better than many years.

bunny thats a perfect example.

helena you still haven't quoted the part of the OP's letter where the school accused her of doing something she hadn't done.