To not want my ex texting every day

[Fruityfruitfruit]

Split up with husband, we have two children.
He texts very day asking how they are and what they've been up to etc.
Is it unreasonable to ask him to stop texting every day and that I will fill him in a couple of times a week or if many thing happens to them I will let him know.
I'm trying to move on and don't feel like I can with him constantly texting.

I know exactly what you mean. I left my husband two months ago and he goes through stages of not asking about them for two weeks. Then texting/calling every night for a week or so. He told me he wants 50/50 custody (HA!) as hd didn't want to be a "glory dad" that got all the fun parts, without having to do the parenting. Erm, you had the opportunity to be a 50/50 parent and you did next to fucking nothing, but NOW all of a sudden you want to be Super Dad?!
YANBU to feel pressured by the what's for tea/who've they seen etc etc texts. But maybe the initial "are they ok?" is reasonable. Although irritating if he's only just decided to step up.

OP, in your other threads you say you told him it was over and he had to move in with his brother. That's completely different to "he chose to walk out and leave us"

The children are now the main concern, does it really take that long to answer a few texts on the days he doesn't see them?

He's just using the children to control you.

I would update him in one message, and further information he asks for send him in the message the next day, but only send one message.

Yes snowwhite that is what happened, we tried to make another go of things for the sake of the children, a bit early yes probably, but none the less we did. After a couple of days he told me it wasn't what he wanted after all, and I had to leave the family home, as it is all in his name. As I said before I do not mind sending a message regarding the children, it's the several after I have an issue with.

Yes mini,it's annoying that he hasn't bothered with them since they were born really and now all of a sudden he wants to know everything about them.
It has since come to light (the last half hour) that the reason he doesn't want to be with me anymore is because he has been sleeping with someone else. Wonderful.

Slightly confused here... You were married and yet you had to move out because house was in his name ....?? No. If you are married then house belongs to you both equally and you appear to be primary carer. Why did you 'have' to move out .? Move back in, if he was abusive then get legal aid (if you have evidence of abuse, be it EA or physical) and get an occupation order requiring him to move out.

We rented, it was in his name. I am now living with my parents.
Can I do that if we rented? All the bills, rent, council tax etc was in his name? Can I get legal aid? I'm not claiming any benefit, I thought it was only free if you got certain benefits?
If I was to move back in I don't think he would leave, so I would have to live with him, or can I get him removed even though it is technically all in his name?
I have absolutely no idea how any of this works.

OP, I love my daughter with all my heart, but I cope perfectly well without updates from my XH when she's with him.
And he copes without them too.
For those handwringing about how awful it is to not know what you're child is doing... actually, it isn't.
I go 4 nights without seeing her when I'm working away. I don't need to know what she's eaten. She adores me, she adores her dad. Neither of our relationships have suffered from not texting EACH OTHER.
In 18 months I've texted him twice, spontaneously, with too adorable to miss photos.
Don't let yourself be bullied into this, thinking it's best for the kids. They won't know, they won't care, if you're texting about them or not.

If they're really young, you could send a contact book back and forth like nurseries do. A comment each day. See if he ever bothers to write in it!

I'm sorry about the cheating. But let it help you through faster - you have to be really really pleased it's over now

Yes you can get legal aid if you are on a low income.if there is evidence of dv. be it emmotional or physical as long as you have some form of evidence. ie police being called out etc. give coram children's legal advice a call, they are free and will let you know where you stand. being married gives you a lot more legal rights than just living together. alternatively someone in the know about renting and tenancy law will hopefully be along on the thread and know a lot more than me, however I have used coram in the past and was able to get an occupancy order myself with their advice without having to employ a solicitor..give them a try.