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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be fed up with DS (2) refusing decent, homemade food and to feed him potato waffles and toast instead?!

36 replies

inconceivableme · 08/01/2015 18:15

He used to be a pretty good eater and still eats reasonably well at nursery but meals at home are increasingly hit and miss and the food waste and stress is driving me nuts. All he wants is bread, pasta, crackers, yoghurt, cheese, biscuits (!), rice pudding, cereals and the odd ripe pear.

Proper meals get rejected though waffles and fish fingers get eaten.

We buy nice quality food too. Batch
cooking is a waste of time as what he wolfs down one day he'll refuse the next. I'm so frustrated!!

OP posts:

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 08/01/2015 18:19

Well just don't give him what he asks for. You're in charge of the shopping!

Original poster

inconceivableme · 08/01/2015 18:21

He's just refused homemade sausage casserole. Do I offer him something else? He's definitely not going to eat this and will wake hungry later if not.

OP posts:

KnackeredMerrily · 08/01/2015 18:23

Watching with interest as my 20 mo is the same! I always offer something he'll eat.

Mine also hates sausage casserole and mash!

toomuchtooold · 08/01/2015 18:24

I feel your pain. Mine were model eaters (and still are mostly at nursery) until about 2 and a bit and suddenly the list of things I could be sure to get them to eat dwindled a LOT. (Then we emigrated, and one of them flat refused to eat anything but ice lollies and rice krispies for a fortnight. That was fun.)

I have noticed that they will often eat something previously rejected if I go "fine, do you mind if I have it?" and then start eating it. But other than that I try not to remark on what they eat as I'm told they sometimes pick up on it and start using eating as leverage.

The odd potato waffle won't kill them IMO :-)

Original poster

inconceivableme · 08/01/2015 18:24

He does eat it on other occasions though.

OP posts:

mamapain · 08/01/2015 18:25

I guess there are 2 schools of thought. The first being you offer him no alternative and if he's hungry later re-heat his dinner or give nothing. The second option is that you give him something else.

Only you will know what right for you. I always offer toast as an alternative, but thats because DC will mainly eat the food I cook.

I don't think theres anything actually wrong with fishfingers, waffles and a few veg.

Impatientwino · 08/01/2015 18:26

Mine is exactly the same, It drove me crazy in the beginning. I feel much better now I've just let it go. He'll get there at some point.

If he doesn't eat what I've given him I clear it away with little or no comment and around 30 mins later a banana will appear next to him while he's playing and I make no comment about that either.

That way he's eaten something and it's no longer stressing me out!

Mammanat222 · 08/01/2015 18:27

Are you me?

I even started this thread today www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/2277054-Horrifically-fussy-eater-2-years-old

SaucyJack · 08/01/2015 18:29

If he'll eat it at other times, then I'd just leave it to be honest. I don't offer alternatives meself unless me and DP are having something sphincter-burningly hot.

Ain't nobody got time for fussy eaters.

Impatientwino · 08/01/2015 18:29

Mamman - mine won't eat chips either- not sure he's actually my child!

ErrolTheDragon · 08/01/2015 18:30

How old is he?

It's pretty common. You probably should try to find some sort of veg he'll reliably eat (in my DDs case, raw carrots and cucumber was about it for a few years); not too many biscuits but the other things he likes are all good food.

A plate with simple stuff he likes and maybe occasionally add a bit of something else may be a lot less stressful.

BeCool · 08/01/2015 18:31

It all went tits up with my 2 around this age also. Don't make a battle.

Mammanat222 · 08/01/2015 18:31

PS: I've not been brave enough to go down the "eat or go hungry" route.

But I am so fed up of all the bloody waste. Time and effort as well as money and actual waste.

ErrolTheDragon · 08/01/2015 18:32

Another thing you could do is to ask him if he wants some of what you're making for yourself - if he doesn't then he gets the simple plate. Avoid making an issue out of it.

BeCool · 08/01/2015 18:32

I went down the route of offering a plain substitute - buttered toast or fruit only. Dd1 did eat an awful lot of cheesy pasta for a couple of years.

FarOverTheRainbow · 08/01/2015 18:32

I feel like I could be writing your post, my DD is 2 and use to be an amazing eater but over the last few months she's become a nightmare, she has phases I first tried if she didn't eat it then she didn't get anything else and she would wake up in the morning eat tons of cereal and a good lunch but I'd have the same problem with dinner. If she doesn't eat her dinner she doesn't get any snacks but I do try 4 small dinners.

Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't so I still don't have a clue what I'm doing

BeCool · 08/01/2015 18:34

Dd2 was less fussy but naturally seems to prefer 2 meals a day with fruit snacks. She is now 3.5

ithoughtofitfirst · 08/01/2015 18:35

Yanbu.

I've tried every trick in the book on mine to get him to eat. He asks for pasta and pesto or beans. And that's what he gets. Whatever I can't be fucked anymore. Too poor to be throwing food away anyway.

Birdiegirl · 08/01/2015 18:36

My dd is 2.7 and recently started being a fussy eater. Started refusing all veg except peas and beans and only wants pasta for dinner. I decided to just give her the same dinner as DH and me and if she doesn't eat it well she goes to bed without any, this has happened a couple of times. She slept fine and had her usual breakfast the next day.

Little by little she has improved and last night had potato, cabbage and fish for her dinner (didn't touch the carrots!)

I know I may sound a little harsh but my brother was a pain in the arse fussy eater, still is, and my mother pandered to him, all he would eat was chips and he got them everyday! Honestly she didn't do him any favours in the long run as his health has suffered as a result.

Not saying you would feed your child chips everyday! My mother is a whole other thread

Passmethecrisps · 08/01/2015 18:37

My Dd is currently faffing her way through oven chips, sausages and beans. Others will disagree but I think this is fine on occasion.

I have a rule that if she tries a few bites then she can have some toast or a yogurt if it isn't to her taste. I try to stay relaxed about it and not make a fuss either way. Hard though when you have cooked nice meals

kalidasa · 08/01/2015 18:43

DS is also 2. He eats well in general (and a lot!) but in the last month or two has been fussy in the evenings. He eats better and much more widely at lunch so personally I don't think it's that big a deal if he usually has one of three or four reliable things in the evening (pasta, toast soldiers, fishfingers, sausages) followed by fruit and yoghurt.

willowisp · 08/01/2015 18:44

Don't offer anything else - as soon as he realises this - he'll eat everything you give him.

My DD2 started this, we had a couple of days of 2 mouthfuls of tea, then a whole yogurt. I realised & said no yogurt until you eat tea. Well we had 3 days of teas & then she ate fine. Sometimes I'd had to feed her, I wonder they get bored of feeding themselves.

WhatWouldFlopDo · 08/01/2015 18:44

DD has supper before bed, bread and butter if she's hungry or rice crispies if she's not so I don't worry too much about her not eating dinner, maybe something like that would help if you're worried about middle of the night hunger.

She did exist on plain omelette and waffles for months at one point, so I feel your pain! She's pretty good now at nearly 3.

Iggly · 08/01/2015 18:46

Keep offering home cooked meals and do not react if he refuses (easier said than done). Obviously eat with him too.

My three year old does this but if I ignore her howls (or let her sit on my lap when she's in a right state) she will eat after a while.

It usually happens at the end of the day when she is tired and almost too hungry iyswim.

willowisp · 08/01/2015 18:49

Ps lose the snacks if you want your child to eat. If I'm giving my 2 something new (beef pendang the other day), they don't have it early & don't have any after school snacks - particularly the 8 year old, who used to get full up with just a smell of something cooking.

Aside from all the posters saying about being relaxed, it's SO important for your kids to develop a taste for good healthy & nutritious food. Chips, waffles, pizza, nuggets etc, it's all crap.

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