to ask if you put your knife and fork together when you've finished your meal?

[m0therofdragons]

I've always done this and never actually thought of it as a thing until I met dh. He'd just leave his cutlery wherever on the plate. I can't remember but I guess I said something as he's been putting them together for years and I forgot he ever didn't. Recently he's been forgetting which apparently drives me nuts for no logical reason. In my mind it's just standard etiquette. Just wondered how weird I am really.

I was always told to place them at 5 o'clock.
If we're going to be super pedantic, I'm going to point out it's not 5.25 or 6.30!
If you placed your cutlery at "5.25" it would be almost between 5 and 6, and if you placed it at "6.30" then it would be exactly half way between 6 and 7! You mean either 5/6 (because saying this means where the hour is on the clock) OR 25/30 mins past (because this means where the minute hand would point)

Should have clarified, if you say at 5.25 this means where the HOUR hand would point at this time.

Well, obviously if you were eating an apple at the table, you would use a knife- you cut it into manageable pieces- probably quarters, or eighths, cut the core out and peel if you like, then eat with fingertips, not a fork. Bananas are different-peel with fingers then cut up and eat the pieces with a fork-because the pieces might be slippery or sticky- but never using a knife and fork together. Why do I waste brain space knowing this stuff?

Pretty sure the All Soul's cherry pie is an academic version of an urban myth. Like people getting Firsts for one word essays and so on.

I know how to pass the port .

I'm quite common really and need to make an effort in very polite society, but I know someone whose DH is in the navy so she has been to lots of navy functions. We were at a formal dinner together once, and there was port. It was a fun talking point practising how to do it properly.

And I know that is the wrong version of practice but the iPad seems to think otherwise.

lurkinghusband
Yes, I was told that it being crossed was rude and that you didnt like it. It drives me mad when people just throw their cutlery down messy.

I was taught that you do this as it's a way of letting your servants know that you've finished and they can take your plate away. My grandmother (who had staff) taught me it was rude & inconsiderate of staff in restaurants etc not to do this, as they then didn't know when you're finished.

HolyTerror, I never saw fruit at High Table the College. We had starter, main course and pudding at High Table in Hall and then went into the SCR for dessert which included the port, madeira, fruit, cheese and chocolates.

We would take our napkins with us too and then leave them unfolded and draped to the side when finished!

ONILKLEYMOOR, Do you know the Bishop of Norwich?

Um, no Frances . I'm not even sure if I've ever been to Norwich, as far as I can recall.

And I don't know whether you are asking if I know the actual Bishop of Norwich, or are referring to a saying or a euphemism.

I was fibbing a bit when I said I know how to pass the port. The bit about the dinner with the woman whose DH is in the Navy is true, but what I should have said was that I know that there is a correct way to pass the port, but as I was a bit pissed on the only occasion in my life where port has been passed, I can't remember the correct method.

Anyway, I committed another etiquette faux pas during that dinner, as there was a series of incredibly long and boring speeches and near the end I got up to go to the toilet (I wasn't the first by a long way) as I would have wet myself if I had waited any longer.

Another fun Navy dinner etiquette fact I learnt was that one must never leave the table during the whole dinner, or until after the most important person in the room gets up.

Together at 5 o clock.

Pigeon, you only got fruit at the table at our high table (won't say which college) if you wanted it as an alternative to pudding, while everyone else was eating theirs - otherwise, dessert worked as you say. And was a delightful way to get away from tiresome neighbours at the table.

Hakluyt, I assure you that the apple cutlery arrived regularly as I say. Personally I used to ignore the fork, as I ignored the ceremonious passing of snuff on occasions...

I'm pretty sure I accidentally found a source for the All Soul's cherry pie in a fusty early 20thc academic memoir aeons, but it has definitely passed into the realms of the apocryphal. Though in my experience the shibboleth it's come to be symbolic of hasn't, or not entirely.

Do excuse me- I appear to have strayed into a novel by Anthony Powell.....

Yes, of course OP. I am a 5 o'clock girl, my husband a 6 o'clock man. We've managed not to fall out over it.

Knife and fork together at six o'clock. Blade of knife inwards signals you are finished. If blade of knife faces outwards that means that your lackey can give you more meat if there is some.

Ancient bit of etiquette there!