To be worried and sad about ds non invite to party

[notnow2]

Ds is 7 and doesn't really have any friends at school - I think he plays with other children but he just joins in games rather than has any friends as such. He often stands alone at start of school day not really playing with anyone in playground when I drop off. Anyway there is one boy who he mentions quite a lot as having played tag with and he hasn't been invited to his party. Ds is not that bothered but it has upset me as it just proves to me how lonely DS must really be at school yet he is oblivious to it as he just runs around with whoever and then he thinks these are his friends

No he noticed that he was given an invite so maybe he cares a little bit. He says he doesn't feel lonely. I have a play date arranged next week now - I am trying. I feel nervous!

My son was a bit of a loner at primary school. I did make an effort to invite lots of different classmates around for a playdate and it did help him fit in a little better, although he never really developed deep friendships until secondary school.

I distinctly remember playing by myself at primary school or drifting between groups. Didn't get many party invites. I don't remember having any close friends in class (i did have some friends outside school). But I absolutely loved primary school - loved learning, loved my teachers, I was confident in class and but happy with my own company. I had more close friends in later primary years and secondary school and am perfectly well socially adjusted now (though still enjoy my own company too!)

Did you arrange the playdate? Did the Dad respond? Well done OP. I have to tell you that I used to get anxious just like you with my DD who is a bit shy.

Every part she didn't get invited to cut me to the quick. It wasn't until I had DD2 who is entirely different that I began to chill out. My shy DD is just fine! Worrying about this and that won't help.

You've done great texting the Dad.x

Yes parent seemed very pleased. Hope it goes well.

All I can add is that when children in my DS class have had this issue their DM has invited one different boy over for tea each week. It seemed to work and give their DS more confidence. Make sure you have a big party like a football party or bowling and invite all the boys along regardless of whether they invited him or not to theirs.

Pleased to hear this, notnow. I hope the playdate goes well, and is reciprocated.

:)

Don't worry about play date not being reciprocated, parents might work full time or just not like play dates if they have more than one child. I find it quite hard to fit in play dates but I try when I can. Sometimes an afternoon at the weekend is easier then after school.

If it's any help I worried dreadfully about dd1 and her apparent lack of friends as a young child/ girl in school. She could have her head stuck in a book or be a little bossy sometimes. Her feelings were hurt more than once by so called friends.
Thankfully I needn't have worried - she has an amazing array of friends and is involved in lots of things and team sports now.
I hope this gives you some comfort. My heart broke at times for her.

My brother is a bit of a loner, but he has coworkers he gets along with while he's at work. He's happy, and prefers to live on his own. I asked him if he got lonely, and he said he's content and sees no reason to find a girlfriend or friendship group. He just likes his own space, while I wouldn't be able to live anywhere without a roommate. I'd get lonely pretty quick.

Holly my sone was the same.

Not into football, a sensitive and academic child my heart too broke for him.

To see him now as a 17 year old at secondary school he is so happy and settled- has a fantastic array of friends who are all bright and geeky, and have the same " Pythonesque" type humour as my son.

Primary schools are small places, ours had 120 pupils, compared to 1000 kids at secondary. So the chances of meeting like minded friends increases dramatically at high school.

Hope the playdate goes well, OP.

Thanks