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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask former CM to take pics of DS off her Facebook page?

45 replies

askyfullofstars · 06/01/2015 12:03

Our old CM has set up a facebook page to help advertise her business.
We only knew about this due to her DH and my DH having a few friends in common as they play golf at the same club, one of these friends contacted DH and said something like “I didn’t realise your DS went to X CM” DH said that he used to but he didn’t anymore (hasn’t been for nearly two years).

WIBU to contact her and ask her to remove the pictures of DS. Not because of some internet paedophile hysteria, but because

A) DS left as we were very unhappy with the service she was providing (she was really quite awful towards the end), so I feel a bit annoyed that his image is being used to advertise her business when I don’t think it’s a particularly good one.
B) We were never asked if she could use photos of him on social media (the nursery he is at has a facebook page that you can only see if you are a parent, I am quite happy to see his photos on there, as we get a little peek into what he gets up to, its great).

Also, I am surprised that her page is public. I (am hoping) that she would have sought the parents permission to put her current mindees on her page, which is fine, but it seems to be full of pictures taken at soft play centres with lots of other children in the background. I know that I may get flamed for this and maybe I am just a bit sensitive, but is that not quite irresponsible? For instance, I have a friend who adopted a child who had quite a ‘chaotic’ background, due to this, she does not put any pictures on social media sites as, even though it is a tiny risk that her child could be recognised, it is still a risk not worth taking. So I cant help but think, when my old CM post pics of her mindees, with other children running about and playing in the background, tagging them at “X Soft Play Centre, in X Town”, what if one of the one of the children in the background is in a similar situation? Like I said, I know it’s a tiny risk and I am probably being ridiculous but surely she should at least make her photos private?

OP posts:
MuddhaOfSuburbia · 06/01/2015 18:45

YANBU

the cheeky cow

FreeWee · 06/01/2015 18:56

It sounds like she has absolutely no idea what she's doing might be unacceptable to a) her ex mindees' parents (especially if she knew you left because you were unhappy) b) other parents of soft play attendees (I'd be annoyed for example if I saw my DD in a generic photo except where I have attended something with clear signs saying photography is taking place and will be used for marketing purposes) c) OFSTED.

I'd contact her directly to ask for the photos to be removed. I would also send her links to best practice photography publishing from some accredited source (maybe OFSTED? Don't know but there'll be guidelines somewhere)

Tanith · 06/01/2015 19:26

Definitely you not unreasonable to ask her to do this.
It's good practice to ask for specific written permission before taking photos and my own permission form lists the type of use for the photo.

Even if you had previously given permission, I would have no problem removing the photo if you changed your mind.

IAmAllImportant · 06/01/2015 19:36

I normally don't get the fear-mongering over pictures posted on the internet

This would infuriate me though, enough to report to OFSTED.

She has not only used the photos without your permission, but she is giving the impression you were happy with the service.

On the other hand...................you could let it stand, so people you know recognise your child and then tell them the truth of how things ended! Grin

askyfullofstars · 07/01/2015 13:32

Hi all. Thanks for the replies and sorry I have only just got round to responding.
I sent her an email yesterday requesting, very politely that they be removed, stating that I had never given permission for her to use them and given the circumstances under which we left - he had been there since a baby, and as a baby he had always been fine, but then as he grew and started walking/ crawling around and generally needed more "attention"/minding, you could see massive cracks in the care, finally breaking down completely when my DS would get randomly injured in her care and she would have no idea how it happened, including his top being covered in blood one night, and what I can only assume was a hair straightener burn on his arm, so we left. DS is now in nursery and has never looked back.
Anyway, she replied back not long ago to tell me that they were her pictures and she should be able to do as she pleases with them, as she "owns" them. The cheek of it.
I am now drafting a response. ffs.

OP posts:
Frusso · 07/01/2015 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

waitingfor3 · 07/01/2015 13:52

Report to OFSTED.
In the meantime, take screen shots of images and her messages.
Also report to facebook.

m.facebook.com/help/383420348387540

Tapewormuprisings · 07/01/2015 14:04

She should be registered with the ICO as a data controller. I'm fairly certain that this is in breach of the data protection act. She sounds like a bloody nightmare, definitely contact Ofsted.

PixieofCatan · 07/01/2015 14:05

:o ofsted will be very interested to wee that response! When I had my inspection(as a nanny) the inspector really questioned me about mynuse of social media, photos of my charges, where they are stored, if I had written permission, etc. They're hot on it at the moment so she could get into some trouble for it!

Helphelphelps · 07/01/2015 14:06

3.69.Records must be easily accessible and available (with prior agreement from Ofsted
or the childminder agency with which they are registered, these may be kept
securely off the premises). Confidential information and records about staff and
children must be held securely and only accessible and available to those who have
a right or professional need to see them. Providers must be aware of their
responsibilities under the Data Protection Act (DPA) 1998 and where relevant the
Freedom of Information Act 2000.

From the EYFS framework.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 07/01/2015 14:11

I'm fairly sure that she requires a model release form your son to use his picture for commercial purposes as the pictures were not taken in public.

I would contact Ofsted too, let them know about the photographs issue, and about the previous "care" your son has received.

Lunastarfish · 07/01/2015 14:12

In general I have quite a relaxed attitude to FB pics but was a bit annoyed when our cat sitter uploaded pics of my cat complete with name. That said, it's a cat so I couldn't be bothered complaining. However, with a child, that's a different story. YANBU - I would contact her and all for it to be removed. You could also report it to FB.....

WannaBe · 07/01/2015 14:23

I would contact ofsted.

alternatively, is this a public fb page? in which case I would take a screenshot, post it on the page along with comments stating that this is your child who was removed from her care two years ago and why.

quietbatperson · 08/01/2015 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlpacaLypse · 26/01/2015 14:37

Just scrolling down through TIW, OP did you get any resolution to this matter?

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/01/2015 15:32

cm sounds very unprofessional and def report to ofsted for 1) burns 2) pics on social media site without your permission

tho did you ever sign a form saying ok to do so?

im a nanny and would never put up pics of my charges, tho a few friends do Hmm

askyfullofstars · 26/01/2015 15:46

I took a screenshot of the pictures and sent them to OFSTED, along with a list of all the incidents that occurred to DS while in her care, but tbh, I doubt they will do much about that, as it was so long ago. I know I should have done something at the time, but I was just so relieved to get my little boy out of there and then getting him settled in a nurseru, before I knew it, it had been an age. I then reported the pictures to FB, saying they were of my family and I had not authorised their use. It took just over a week, but they removed them.

OP posts:
PaulaAtMummyKnowsBest · 26/01/2015 18:23

I am an ofsted registered childminder and would never post pictures of my minded children on a public forum

Unless your old childminder has written permission from you she shouldn't be uses photos of your children anywhere.

PaulaAtMummyKnowsBest · 26/01/2015 18:24

Is she registered with the information commissioners office(ICO)? Inform then that she doesn't have your permission

AlpacaLypse · 04/02/2015 09:27

Thanks for updating OP!

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