AIBU to suspect DH?

[L1amsMum]

he lies to me. he hides things. he complains about things he offers to do himself. he makes me feel like a damn burden and right now i feel really insecure about him as a dh and future father. panicking !

YANBU. He is definitely hiding something, can you think of any way of finding out what for sure?

I was in a similar situation, I knew my ex was lying and cheating while I was pregnant but I had no absolute proof. I wish I'd got out sooner as I would have at least had more support from my friends and family when pregnant and with a small baby - as it was I had to come across as loyal to ex and keep up a happy/coping front just in case it all magically came good.

yes, i guess on a certain level i knew that..
he kept putting all my doubts on the pregnancy hormones to the point where he made me doubt myself massively.. and although this will sound horrible the only reason i went ahead with the baby was how happy DH was about it and how excited...(mind you he wants 3 kids.. -_- ). now i feel like a moron..

Also might help you to google "the script" - making you feel like a burden and complaining about things he offered to do sounds like classic justification/rewriting of relationship type stuff (my ex was an absolute master at this by the end!).

I think you are going to have to speak to him and say you need to see his phone and internet. If he won't let you or delays showing you then you have your answer. Your son will (as you say) be better off without this example of a Husband. He can see his son as a Father, but he is a lying deceitful Husband.

If he gets all indignant with you asking him he has obviously something ( a lot) to hide.

i have a feeling I know how this will end...
anyway.. thank you for the answers.. I will find the way to get this sorted..

I'm sorry Way

You can contact MNHQ and then can change the username for posts you have already made if you need them to

Can I ask what adib stands for please?

Adib?

I am so very sorry but I honestly think he is cheating.

I know we shouldn't project but I knew deep down my ex was cheating as there were similar peculiar things that he'd have an explanation for. Explanations that stretched credibility but could possibly be true. I wasted 2 utterly miserable years feeling unable to leave as I couldn't 'prove' it or be 100% sure. Eventually it all came out in a very nasty way and we split up. I wish I'd kept my dignity, and trusted myself more, and taken action earlier.

The surprise trips thing is bullshit and you know it. No one plans a trip in that way. Or then cancels the trip in a fit of pique at you finding out. That was a desperate on-the-spot lie to explain away his doing something wrong. His making you feel bad about it all is another typical sign.

Get out now hun. Its not the hormones and I think you're being emotionally abused. He is manipulating you and making you doubt yourself, its a way of keeping you where he wants you (So you're thinking "Is he lying or am I being paranoid because of my hormones?!") PLEASE leave. Do you have somewhere you can go? Family? a very close friend? You need out and you need to go asap (I'd be packing my bags)x

If you're in South wales and need a lift from A-B or help getting into a hotel for a few nights pm me, I'll be with you within the hour if need be. Stay strong and get out. Its better for your son to have 2 parents separate now than dealing with all of the upheaval 2-3 years down the line when he will know daddy isn't there anymore, x

You need to leave. This won't get better.

And he IS hiding something. Either spending/gambling or someone. His excuse for pass wording his phone is ridiculous. . As is his other excuses. Confront him if guard and tell him you want him to hand over his phone right now, unlocked and you want to search through everything YOURSELF- or HE is to leave and stay the night elsewhere while you co super your thoughts.

It's not you. It really is him.