To not want to go to my "surprise" leaving lunch

[Mammanat222]

Another day, another first world problem.

It's my last day today before I head of on ML, have had no sleep (missing cat that didn't come home until 3am) and the place that has been booked is a Tapas place. only two things I don't eat are Tapas and Sushi

To top it all off it's for about 20 people? I am only meant to think it's for my small team but thankfully my colleague can see how fragile I am and he has told me about the "surprise" element

I just can't face it. I am 38 weeks pregnant, dead on my feet with tiredness, piggy eyed as I spent about 3 hours crying last night about my lost cat and I don't like the food.

What to do? I've not had one day off related to being pregnant so can I use it as an excuse today (say I don't feel great?) or should I just go, find something I can stomach on the menu and suck it up?

I know I sound like a brat but I've worked with my manager for 13 years, she knows I hate surprises and Tapas so what would make her think this is a good idea?

Will the paella have seafood in? That's could be your out if you need it, I'm not sure I'd have eaten seafood from a restaurant I wasn't completely familiar with and confident in when pregnant (I don't eat seafood anyway but that's by the by). I'd probably go, nibble something, and leave after an hour. Make the best of it but don't flog yourself into the ground to do it.

Oops, cross-posted. Not spending money then.

Sorry, just to clarify. Yesterday afternoon and email was circulated and the menu sent. Everyone that wanted to come was asked to choose their food. They had the option of Tapas selection or a main meal.

Manager chose for me as I wasn't here, but I can change my food.

Love the idea of standing up as the food comes and announcing that I hate the food, hate surprises and hate large gatherings! I may well just keep my ingratitude confined to this thread

(MN is very therapeutic actually!! AIBU has saved me offending so many people in the past few months)

Can you ring the restaurant and change your order before you go? Might be less awkward?

I'd go, have a drink and whatever food you can manage and then just say you're not feeling too well and will have to go.

Say your goodbyes and thank yous and go

Yep just called and now have some chicken dish that will probably give me HB but it sounds quite nice.

Will practice my surprised face and make my excuses as soon as I can, I actually have so much to do before I leave for the year !!!

Go, nibble bread, leave as soon you can and be thankful you don't have to see these people again for a while.

sounds hellish to me.

call in sick if you don't want to go. I don't get why anyone would think just because they enjoy a work meal that everyone else should too. Reminds me of the time we went to a tapas restaurant I was eight months pregnant and it was all meat, I could not eat a thing and felt nauseous and exhausted by the end of it as well as really hungry as I'd been unable to eat any of it, the person who'd organised it knew I couldn't eat the food on the menu but didn't care. I wasn't upset but made a mental note never to put myself out over a work meal again. Don't want to go I won't go.

OP, I feel your pain. I hate surprises, I hate being the centre of attention and I'd have hated it even more pregnant, although I do rather like tapas.

I think you have to go for a bit though, or by the time you come back from ML the whole thing might have been spun into you being ungrateful for the "lovely" leaving party that was organised for you. Just grit your teeth, it's only a couple of hours out of your whole life then you can go home and get ready for your baby.

You ask how your manager of 13 years could not know what you did and didn't like? My DH and DD have no idea of what I like and they have lived with me for 22 years and 15 years respectively.

Some people just haven't a clue.

Hope lunch is not too stressful and that they have bought you something wonderful.

Good luck with the birth!

I'm glad you have sorted out something to eat - but to be honest, I don't blame you at all for being upset at the way this has been done. Surely the most basic thing you do, when organising a treat for someone, is to make sure they will enjoy it?

You say your manager knows you don't like tapas, so why would they think it would be a treat for you to go to a tapas restaurant?

OK I have to admit defeat here.

Went along for lunch, food was lovely and it was all very low key and relaxed. Nothing at all baby related / to make me feel centre of attention and everyone barring myself did actually pay so they did all come out of choice.

Have apologised, admitted that the food was great and that I had fun!!

I am happy to say when I am wrong and I was wrong!

Yay happy ending! TOLD you you're a lovely person didn't I

Pull your manager one side and say thanks but no thanks.

You are pregnant, you do not need to be nice or reasonable to anyone if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Oh ok clearly I am late here haha!!

Ha ha isnt that what always happens.
Glad you enjoyed it.

20 people paid to have lunch with you? Bask in your popularity!

Hurrah. I love a happy ending.