For months on end I was so overwhelmed by my DS being an awful sleeper that it reached the point of me being absolutely exhausted and usually ending up in tears most nights because I was so desperate for sleep. I was so tired, frustrated and angry and I couldn't see a way out. I felt like I had no control over my life and amidst my upset I never stopped crying about the fact DS wouldn't go to sleep at night unless he was in bed with me. I repeatedly told DH I was at breaking point and I couldn't cope anymore, that I needed DS to sleep and I needed him to sleep in his cot.
£75 and three weeks later after speaking to a sleep consultant I now have a fantastic sleeping baby and all my troubles are over.
However, I now find myself deeply missing sleeping with him. I miss feeling him next to me and hearing him breathe, I miss waking up to find he's wriggled so close to me that I'm practically hanging out the bed and I just miss the closeness. I used to hold his hand when he slept and I would love feeling his little hands and fingers twitching during his sleep. I used to wake up in the morning to his gorgeous face and him poking me in the eyes to get my attention or trying to suck on my nose as that's how he likes to give kisses. I miss it all so much. It upsets me a little that I don't have it anymore 
He's now across the landing, sleeping in his cot and I want nothing more than to go and get him and spend another night curled up with him.
He's 9 months old - maybe I'm finding it hard to come to terms with the fact he's not a 'baby' anymore. I feel a bit stupid about how upset I get over missing our night time cuddles 