Is my mum an alcoholic?

[hopingforamiracle]

I'm a bit worried about my mum and her drinking. She drinks pretty much everyday because she says she's unhappy. My stepdad is an alcoholic and is physically dependant. They both go out with friends to the pub almost every day (all friends are heavy drinkers). If they aren't at the pub, they drink wine in the evenings, a couple of glasses each. I'm starting to feel really ashamed of her drinking, I find it difficult to respect her, especially when she causes arguments and starts being paranoid about my stepdad with other women.

It doesn't cause any problems with her work, she's able to hold down a full time job. Sometimes she is 5 or 10 mins late into work because of previous late nights with drink. Does anyone have any advice?

Here's my advice:

Yes, she sounds like she has a problem with alcohol.
But - you did not cause it, you cannot change it and you cannot control it.

Have a look at the Al-Anon website.

Thank you :)

It does sound like she has a problem however there is nothing you can do to change her drinking. If it is her decision to stop you can support and encourage her but if she doesn't realise there is a problem unfortunately she will not change her ways.

Best of luck

She is what's known as a 'functioning alcoholic'. They kid themselves that they don't have a proble. You can't stop her drinking - it has to be her choice - but what you can do is make sure that you're not an 'enabler'. Don't set up situations that involve alcohol, don't shop for her if it involves alcohol, tell her from time to time that you're concerned about the amount she drinks. Be patient - it may take years for her to face up to dealing with it.

A friend of mine confided in me that she had started going to AA but wasn't telling anyone else. When I asked her why she replied 'Because you were the first person who ever told me that my drinking was a problem.' Apparently it was about ten years earlier.