To think lightweight drinkers who drink excessively are selfish?

[ArielleVan]

On Friday night my good friend invited me out for a drink, she'd also invited another friend "Sarah" (I don't know this friend too well as I've only met her 4 times)

We got a taxi and had one drink and then Sarah just changed, knocking over her chair, stumbling, talking rubbish, grabbing our glasses of wine. Turns out she'd been drinking practically since she'd woken up that day.

The whole night I felt like me and my friend were babysitting. The night really was not fun.

Apparently she does this a lot (drink excessively) and have to be looked after. In the couple of times I've met her shes told me herself what a lightweight she is.

I just think its really selfish behaviour that if you are a lightweight you would on many occasions drink excessively and then expect to be looked after and not allow others to have fun.

God I hate alcohol related threads on mumsnet. The general consensus is usually that anyone who has more than a thimble full of sherry at a special occasion is an alcoholic.
Op yanbu it's a pain in the arse when someones excessive drinking ruins the night. I'm sure she was mortified the next morning though

I think it's possible that she tells people what a lightweight she is in order to disguise how much she is actually drinking IYsWiM? If she is a lightweight then she wouldn't have made it out to the evening if she had been drinking all day!

But equally, very drunk people are incredibly annoying on a night out. I'd be worried for this person though.

YANBU had so many friends with varying degrees of this, some turned nasty, some teary, some vomited....

so bloody boring, some, down wine, do shots and then in bed by 11 ....

When I look back, so many good nights ruined.

some people have a strange chemical reaction to alcohol.....they should realize this and drink accordingly.

^^ This. She says she's a lightweight to conceal how much she drinks.

I think "lightweight" is a red herring here. Whatever your tolerance, it's inconsiderate to drink beyond it knowing that your friends will have to look after you (although the occasional misjudgement might happen which is probably just one of those things).

I agree with GrandTheftQuarto entirely.

It is inconsiderate to get yourself into a state where you will have to be looked after.

If it's a one-off under unusual circumstances good friends will forgive this (and maybe they will need similar help sometimes).

If it's a common occurrence, she needs to get a handle on it.

YANBU. I have a friend who doesn't know her limits and has a complete personality change when drunk. At best she gets loud and annoying, at worst unpleasant, hostile and argumentative. She completely ruined my own hen night by me and another friend having to babysit her all night as she became annoying and argumentative (including with bouncers) to everyone (I'm amazed no-one physically went for her) and refused to call it a night. The next day she never has any recollection of her actions and no understanding of why people are pissed off with her the next day I'm not surprised no-one turned up to her birthday night out last year.

YANBU. Rather then babysit, couldn't you have just taken her home together and gone back? It's both selfish and stupid to rely on other people to look after you- people know their limits, they chose to go past them and shouldn't expect others to look after them.

The problem is that these people know that majority of us won't be able to just leave them, won't feel comfortable with them bring drunk and not looked after and they rely on it. Hence why they repeat it. A lot of people will have 'one offs' like this, where you need your friend. I did once when way to drunk after seeing a beloved ex and once when my drink was spiked, thankfully I have good friends who looked after me. The 'one offs' can be annoying, humorous, scary or just crap but it's the serial repeaters who are selfish and take the mick.

I knew someone who would get hammered, start fights and run behind her friends when she was turned on. She'd get drunk and by 10pm expect people to look after her. She had to be taken several times to A&E by embarrassed friends. This is a good part of the reason that she's no longer a friend.

Yanbu. It's tedious having to look after someone so pissed they can't stand up or they realise they've ruined the night and end up crying and hugging you whilst telling how much they love you.

As someone said. Just ask your friend if she's coming out then you can decide if you want too or not.

I think "lightweight" is a red herring here. Whatever your tolerance, it's inconsiderate to drink beyond it knowing that your friends will have to look after you (although the occasional misjudgement might happen which is probably just one of those things).

Also agree, absolutely.

Being a lightweight has nothing really to do with it. Admittedly, I am a lightweight but that's a permanent state of affairs. I don't ever get pissed precisely because I am a lightweight who isn't interested enough in drinking to get drunk!

I have, however, known plenty of people who are neither alcoholics nor lightweights, as such but who do have a reputation for being annoyingly drunk from time to time. It's deeply selfish behaviour because it suggests that their need to be self-indulgent overrides their friends' perfectly reasonable expectation of an enjoyable night out.

Yes it's very tiresome having to babysit someone who's so far gone they can't look after themselves.
There's a similar thread from a different perspective on here

And happily the responses on the similar-but-different thread are much the same - it is VERY tiresome having to look after people who repeatedly fail to recognise their own limits.

I was a problem drinker but I always took great care to not go beyond merry out of the house.

Two of my mates once ruined the only night out I had had that year (in December) by taking something in the pub. Being sick in the restaurant, not being able to get a cab, the works. It is selfish.

I am not a drunk babysitter unless that person is a good friend and it's a once in a blue moon thing. I'd have called a cab for Sarah, and sent her on her way. If she refused a cab, I'd have left. Sarah's friend can deal with her since she invited her. I did my drunk babysitting as a teen and in college. I'm done. People aren't as cute/funny/clever/affable as they think they are when they're drunk.

She doesn't sound like an alcoholic just off that though. You can't tell an alcoholic based off one incident anyway. It needs to cause a problem in 2 areas of your life for it to be a disorder: social, home, work. Was she irresponsible, immature, and inconsiderate? Definitely.

So, was it frosty when you left?

OP did you happen to leave your coat behind?

Blimey, she's not 'lightweight' if she has been drinking since she got up! I would have been asleep by lunchtime...that is 'lightweight'.

YANBU, if I were you I would have left without a word. Did you know the other girl well or was she a friend of a friend? Were you all supposed to be staying at the same house? What did your other friends/s think? Do they indulge her behaviour?