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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to stop apologising to my DM.

3 replies

becominglessofalurker · 04/01/2015 10:02

I will just talk in general terms as this is about a fortnightly occurrence so there is not much point being specific.
My DM nd I have great difficulty communicating with one another. We just seem to rub each other up the wrong way. I try to explain to her maturely what has upset me and always apologise for what I think has upset her.
She is totally uninterested in what has upset me. She only wants to talk about what has upset her and she absolutely NEVER apologises back.
When I don't agree that it is all my fault she reacts with something over dramatic like like "fine, I will just get in the car nd leave u nd ur dad cos I can never say anything right nd it's obvious that neither of u want me around."
Anyway, I'm really starting to get sick of apologising for my part in things nd not ever getting any kind of apology back. WIBU to do what she and my father do nd not apologise but just pretend that no argument happened the next time we see each other?

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 04/01/2015 10:06

Have you heard of the term 'narc'?

Seems to be quite common on here.

var123 · 04/01/2015 10:07

If what you are doing isn't working - which it clearly isn't - then you need to do something else.

It sounds like you are giving up though, which isn't trying something else. Is that right? Sometimes that is the answer, but it won't work either if you still live with her. You write that she talks of leaving you and your dad, so does that mean you still live at home?

Is there someone who knows both of you whom you can talk to about how you feel and who can maybe broker a peace between you?

becominglessofalurker · 04/01/2015 10:14

Luckily I do not live at home, I'm married nd have a lg. But my oh nd I rent a house from my parents nd my lg is her only grandchild. She only lives 15 mins away nd has no hobbies nd few friends so sees us nearly every day.

Yes, I have heard the term narc. I do think it applies to her nd was going to put it but forgot how to spell the full word so didnt lol

OP posts:
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