Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To feel like an idiot

16 replies

MumsyFoxy · 04/01/2015 00:38

So. I have written an erotic little story and emailed it to my DP. I feel totally stupid and a little hurt by his lukewarm reaction, at one point even implying I've lied to him about not being attracted to women (I am not, but the story involves me and a woman, because I know it would have turned him on).
Silly me. It was an excellent piece of erotica and now I'm humiliated by his not so positive reaction.

OP posts:

ProcrastIWillFinishThisLater · 04/01/2015 00:49

Poor you. Maybe he's more a pictures than words person, or maybe he wasn't feeling 'in the mood' when he got the email? Not that that excuses his rudeness with the accusation of lying of course, but he might have been more receptive to the story at a different time. Sorry he was crap though. x

MinnieM1 · 04/01/2015 01:03

Argh this is a difficult one, it's pretty humiliating to be knocked back but I bet any money if just wasn't the right time, I'd try & re-tell it in the flesh, in sexy underwear etc etc
Don't let it put you off being forward

Original poster

MumsyFoxy · 04/01/2015 01:08

Thanks, Procrast!
I do think it was tactless of him to react that way. I know he enjoys fantasies, so was expecting a very different reaction!

OP posts:

Original poster

MumsyFoxy · 04/01/2015 01:13

MinnieM1, no way could I tell the story in person after the way he reacted to it now! He'll have to make me feel very comfortable before I tell naughty stories/fantasies, which won't be any time soon. The shame!

OP posts:

BOFster · 04/01/2015 01:16

It was nice of you to send him it, but it's very easy to make someone feel awkward or embarrassed if it's not exactly their thing or if they are a grammar nazi and you've made some howlers. Timing is also a factor- did he read it at leisure when alone, or while he was watching the match with his mates?

All is not lost- you might be able to re-tell it to him in person and get an entirely different result?

TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain · 04/01/2015 01:17

Tbh I would hate if someone sent me that and would probably react very awkwardly. Is tis something ye normally send each other?

BOFster · 04/01/2015 01:17

Cross-posts. Ah, he's blown it then. And not in a good way.

MinnieM1 · 04/01/2015 01:19

Ohhhh don't be ashamed! Honestly I've been where you are and the only way I've been able to say things in real life is when I've been really drunk and even then felt embarrassed the next morning, but I had a bit of a revelation with DP a few years ago when he admitted that he felt embarrassed in real life unless drunk too and our sex life never looked back!
I know it's difficult to be the instigator but sometimes the other person is just looking for a confident person to guide them into what they both want!
Next time you see him have a bottle glass of wine and try it!
If you're confident enough to write a sexy story I bet you'll be confident enough to be the leader in one nights activities

Original poster

MumsyFoxy · 04/01/2015 01:50

BOFster, he was a home and we had exchanged a few whattsapp messages before I wrote and sent it! No typos, and it was well-written (if I may say so myself!).
Minnie1, don't think I'll feel very confident (wine or not) now that he has managed to make me feel silly. So what does being tipsy help you and your DP with? Talking? Being more forward?
I almost want to be vindicated by publishing the short story (in a men's mag? Blog? Send it to a publisher and tell them to use it how they see fit?) and know that there are men who will be turned on by it!

OP posts:

Original poster

MumsyFoxy · 04/01/2015 01:54

TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain, no, we don't send erotic stories to each other, but we have once done some long distance sexting involving fantasising over scenarios etc, and he seemed to enjoy it (a lot).
I just thought I'd surprise him with a sexy email to stir him as he's relaxing at home.
Why would you hate it if your DP sent you a story they wrote for you?

OP posts:

Original poster

MumsyFoxy · 04/01/2015 12:06

No messages from DP today!

OP posts:

LadyLuck10 · 04/01/2015 12:09

You think it's brilliant, maybe he doesn't. It doesn't make him 'thoughtless' to not be overjoyed with it.

Alisvolatpropiis · 04/01/2015 12:15

Whilst I can see where you're coming from, I wouldn't enjoy it if my husband had done the same. Erotic fiction really isn't my thing.

MinnieM1 · 04/01/2015 12:25

Being a little bit tipsy helped us at first just to get the words out (dirty talk) and now we don't need the wine it was just a little bit of Dutch courage in the beginning
If you like that kind of thing then I would try again, don't let his uninterest in this put you off, he just may not have been in the mood when he read it

TheNewSchmoo · 04/01/2015 12:28

I would find it really awkward. Perhaps it just isn't his thing.

Plus, the accusation of lying etc is a bit much but seriously would you not be a bit puzzled if he sent you an exotic story about him and a man?

Original poster

MumsyFoxy · 04/01/2015 13:41

TheNewSchmoo, I would be very perplexed if he sent me a story involving him with another man but in my case I wrote it because he fantasises about me with another woman (lots of men like the idea,,don't they?), and thought he'd find it a turn-on instead of questioning my sexuality or why was he not present in the story.

OP posts:

Flip