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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not take my 2yo to any groups at all?

21 replies

DarylDixonsDarlin · 03/01/2015 23:53

I don't currently take my youngest DD, 2y 3m, to any groups at all - playgroups, music, rhyme time, baby gym etc.

She is my third child, my two older DC weren't bothered whether we went to groups or not, so we went to at least one playgroup weekly but didn't bother with much else. They both went to preschool/nursery for at least 12 of their 15 free hours and they have since gone into primary school apparently without any social difficulties.

Youngest DD is bright, happy and bang on target for milestones, she also seems to be happy around other children when she encounters them (probably due to having older siblings and their friends). I see friends with similar aged children at.least once a month and she behaves well enough and seems to enjoy it. Basically what I'm trying to say is I don't have any worries for her social skills at this point.

Am I short changing her by not taking her to groups? There's so much going on locally (lucky I know) that I wonder if she's missing out on all these expensive great things to do My main concern is that she is September born, so will not start Reception until Sept 2017, with preschool (Montessori) from Sept 2015. This means nearly two full years of preschool, before she even starts school. I don't want her to get bored!

We do plenty of stuff at home, have a garden, visit family, go to beach/woods/parks, see friends, take a train ride, shopping, art/craft stuff at home, reading, she comes with me wherever I go during the week so all the school runs, after school clubs stuff etc.

Will the lack of any structured activities be detrimental to her development? Or am I just feeling the peer pressure here regarding the available activities locally, what did people do with 2yos in the olden days?

OP posts:

farmersmarket15 · 03/01/2015 23:55

She'll be grand :)

Canigetanamen · 03/01/2015 23:56

Personally I think you sould take her see what she thinks if she really likes it if not then don't my 1st hated them my senconed one however loves

MrsMoppandBucket · 03/01/2015 23:56

I tried loads of groups for my DS when he was that age. He did not like them and they were a total waste of time and money. Really all he wanted was to be with family. Plus I found them a hassle and a snooze fest.

However I noticed that he changed when he was 2.5 he was bored at home and he needed something else. For us it was nursery not groups.

So I think you'll be fine but you might find yourself reassessing the situation in a few months.

BikeRunSki · 04/01/2015 00:00

Surely the 2 years of preschool will be the start of structured activities and prepare her for school?

FoulsomeAndMaggotwise · 04/01/2015 00:12

I think it depends on the child. Mine goes stir crazy even after just one day in the house so we go to every group going, but as long as yours is happy and well socialised within your own family and friends, I don't see a problem.

SaucyJack · 04/01/2015 00:19

I think it's a bit mean not to at least tbh when you don't have a good reason not to.

I've been taking DD3 to a toddler group since she was 8 months and she genuinely loves it.

Of course, if you do take your DC and they hate it that's something else altogether.

SaucyJack · 04/01/2015 00:19

*at least try

Fantail · 04/01/2015 05:11

Pre-2 I did a couple of group activities with DD, but they were for me to socialise (we moved 3 times before DD was 2), rather than for her.

So no, YANBU

ShowMeTheWonder · 04/01/2015 05:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LetTheRiverAnswer · 04/01/2015 05:52

YANBU but if you think she might enjoy something a bit more as she gets older is there a group you might enjoy more than the others? Does the Montessori nursery she'll be going to have any groups for younger children? I'm on dc3 and take him to the group at the Steiner school where he'll go to kindergarten when he's older. I like that one, but only go to other groups very occassionally, mostly if its rainy and I can't be bothered to do anything more interesting. They're not essential to well being or development I'm sure.

imip · 04/01/2015 06:08

My 2yo is dc4. She rarely goes to grps. Up til now 3 sessions ina 2yo only Montessori grp, moving to 4 sessions mixed age next week. She only does a swimming class with me. Tbh, dc3 who started reception in sept 14, did v little either. But we play in the park a lot and we spend a lot of other time doing the school run (inc after school activities), hospital appt for DCs with illness. Tbh, she loves just staying home with her and I, where she can rule the roost. It means I give her lots of one-on-one time. I'm sure her friendships will now develop further in her new school grp, and I'm very willing to pursue them, but I actually think at 2, when you have older DCs. Staying at home is a lovely thing to do!

skitter · 04/01/2015 06:14

I went to groups with ds more for me to get out and chat than for him to learn to socialise. I would think 2 years of preschool will be plenty of time for her to prepare for the social side of school, especially with older siblings.

krustyem · 04/01/2015 08:20

It sounds like you do loads at home and days out so i wouldn't be too bothered withgroups, she doesn't sound like she's missing out on anything. I tried several groups and felt we gained nothing from them that we couldn't do ourselves, so i didn't bother again and at 2 and a half mine started nursery twice a week which was great. It seems like you're made to believe nowadays that if you don't do every group and activity out there, you're not being a good parent, or you're being selfish. Do what's best for you and your child.

VioletandRoger · 04/01/2015 08:24

I think it all sounds lovely but don't you have friends you socialise with weekly?

Mammanat222 · 04/01/2015 08:40

At the moment we don't do any groups. Its more situation than anything else though. We've just moved so had to re-jig our childcare. Sister had DS but now OH is at home with him.

OH is still officially working on new place as much as you can with a 25 month underfoot and there have been lots of deliveries / workmen etc so they've not managed to commit to any groups.

They go out everyday - walks / parks / swimming / library and do lots at home too. Also DS has 8 first cousins all aged within a few years of him. Plus I have friends with kids his age so he socialises a fair bit. He is very good with other kids actually.

I'm due to go on ML in a few days and plan to start a few groups with him - may wait until new baby is here and we have a bit of a routine going on.

cinders456 · 04/01/2015 09:11

dc, 28mths is the youngest of 3. Has nursery 2 mornings per week, toddler groups two mornings and is just about to start a football group one afternoon. Will be the youngest in school year and so I see that its beneficial to be socialising and out and about. Dc3 loves it, which is the main thing :)

Original poster

DarylDixonsDarlin · 04/01/2015 15:04

Thanks for the replies, actually the replies on here seem to match up with what I see in real life - some do groups, others not so much! I think perhaps I'll take her along to one of the non-commitment ones at the children's centre and see how we get on, then nothing lost if we decide not to continue . There is also one for 2yo at another local preschool which sounded like it might be worth a look.

Thank you all for your advice

OP posts:

crazykat · 04/01/2015 23:04

I have four dcs and have never taken any of them to baby groups. The groups close enough to get to (I don't drive) were ruled out as I always had a baby and toddler and the groups were either for non walkers so my toddler wasn't allowed or were for toddlers and the baby wasn't allowed.

I have two in school and one in nursery and they're all confident and outgoing with millions of friends (and party invites).

Imo as long as they have opportunities for peer interaction (friends, family, siblings etc.) then there's no need for baby groups if you don't want to go.

Levismum · 04/01/2015 23:10

I'm even worse then crazykat... 6 dc & I've never been to a group.
I was never off work very long with any of the dc so made the most of being at home.

Graciescotland · 04/01/2015 23:17

DS1 loved groups at that age however DS2 isn't keen mainly because he'd rather play with older children. I think that having siblings close in age reduces/ negates the need for organised social interaction with their peers as they're already socialised.

slightlyconfused85 · 05/01/2015 09:01

I like to get dd out for my own sanity and she enjoys playgroups and soft play although less bothered about structured things.

I think if you're both happy and she's busy with you at home there's no problem. If you're lucky to have lots of lovely things nearby one or two might be worth a try though

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