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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a lift from the airport

40 replies

Pinkpanthershow · 02/01/2015 21:49

I am not sure if I am being unreasonable or not. My DH, 4 year old DD and I returned from a visit to Glasgow to see my parents last night. Our flight got in at 7.30pm and I had thought my DH parents would pick us up. They live a very short drive from the airport and it wouldn't have been a long round trip. We have done it for them in the past, and would think nothing of it. This time we were told that MIL had a cold and so wouldn't be up to it and basically FIL couldn't be bothered. He wasn't going out but said he may be tired. He is 60 by the way.

We got a taxi which was expensive due to the bank holiday and got home to find the shops all shut and no milk - I had planned to see if MIL could give us a pint of milk. We generally pop in with bread and milk when they are away.

Am I unreasonable to be annoyed by this? Perhaps I am, it is just not how I was brought up and my lovely parents would always pick us up. We had all the inlaws for Christmas Day at our house and yet none of them, including SIL and BIL could pick us up?

OP posts:
RoastingYourChestnutsHurtsAlot · 02/01/2015 21:51

Did you check.with them.before you booked? If so and they backed out last minute yanbu

If, however and i suspect this to be the case, you flew and hoped they'd pick you up without asking then yabu

Scrumbled · 02/01/2015 21:59

YanBu if you'd arranged it and they backed out. If you called at the last minute then yabu.

ilovesooty · 02/01/2015 22:00

If they gave backword after saying they would YANBU. I think YABU if you simply assumed you'd get a lift.

dun1urkin · 02/01/2015 22:02

YANBU if they had offered you a lift and a pint of milk and then backed out
YABVU if you made a last minute request thought you were entitled to a lift because you hosted Xmas, have given them a lift etc etc

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/01/2015 22:05

"He wasn't going out but said he may be tired."
Wow. He MAY be tired. So this was a conversation long before the lift was needed?

"We have done it for them in the past, and would think nothing of it."
I might be inclined to 'be tired' next time.

YANBU to be annoyed.

hoobypickypicky · 02/01/2015 22:12

YABU to "expect" anyone to run around after you.

YABU to carry out favours in the expectation of getting something back.

YANBU to be tired and disappointed that no-one could or would pick you up.

26Point2Miles · 02/01/2015 22:15

Yabu to expect anything!

Original poster
Pinkpanthershow · 02/01/2015 22:16

We had asked in advance, and it had been agreed. However the fact that MIL had a cold changed everything and so when we called to check the day before, they said no. No one called to wish us a happy new year or to see if we got back safely. Again, these are things that my family would always do.

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 02/01/2015 22:16

I wouldn't pick them up next time they ask. Say you might be tired.

ilovesooty · 02/01/2015 22:20

f it had been agreed in advance it was a reasonable expectation that they'd keep their word. Your FIL could have come out by himself. I don't think that what your family would have done is relevant though.

Icimoi · 02/01/2015 22:23

Why not get the train if a taxi is too expensive?

lem73 · 02/01/2015 22:26

Your in laws are selfish unfortunately. Welcome to the clubSmile. Hope you had a lovely time in Glasgow.

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/01/2015 22:26

Pinkpanthershow, would it be fair to say your ILs are like this fairly regularly?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 02/01/2015 22:27

Shock they are very rude. Even if you hadn't arranged with them, surely if they knew you were travelling , at this time of year and with your 4yo (their GD) you'd think they'd ask "are you ok getting home. Are you taking the car to the airport or do you need a lift"

7.30pm is early.
OK your MIL had a cold but that doesn't mean your FIL couldn't drive?

YY to don't pick them up next time and don't bother getting them fresh supplies.
Turds Angry

ilovesooty · 02/01/2015 22:29

Ici perhaps there wasn't a train service? There isn't at my local airport, and it was BH too.

Fabulous46 · 02/01/2015 22:31

Why did you not just leave your car at the airport and drive home?

Original poster
Pinkpanthershow · 02/01/2015 22:37

No trains, and we didn't take car to the airport as they had agreed to give us a lift! Sadly my inlaws are like this to us a lot, and I should have known better. I just can't imagine being like that to my dd when she is grown up.

OP posts:
ovaltine · 02/01/2015 22:46

I'd be annoyed; my mum would pick me up no matter how far away I was! I always find it when other families don't seem to like to help each other out (like my friends brothers, always complain if they get asked to help with stuff then want paying after!)

Hatespiders · 02/01/2015 22:50

My lovely neighbour insisted on picking me up from our local airport when I flew back from Edinburgh in August. (Dh was in Africa) The taxi would have been £25. (9pm at night and dark) It took about 30 mins and there aren't any buses to my village. She's a very kind lady, and I was so grateful.

YANBU as your PIL had initially agreed to pick you up. It sounds as if your FIL just couldn't be bothered. You'll know another time not to put yourself out for them much in the future!

NadiaWadia · 02/01/2015 23:15

Agree with others, you know what to do next time they go away. Agree in advance to pick them up, then suddenly develop a cold or become 'too tired'. And don't be stocking up their kitchen with milk or bread either!

RedSoloCup · 02/01/2015 23:33

YANBU

That said the first time after my parents moved overseas I visited with their DGD and they recommended a good cab co rather than drive under 15 minutes to pick us up themselves!!!!

Yet when they come here I am expected to taxi them about for their entire stay....

Go figure......

BuggersMuddle · 03/01/2015 11:37

YANBU given they agreed and presumably knew a taxi would cost you an arm and a leg.

I'm with others - make sure you're 'tired' next time they want a favour...

Inertia · 03/01/2015 11:42

YANBU- they'd agreed to pick you up.

Be busy next time they need a favour.

DaisyFlowerChain · 03/01/2015 11:51

Just take your car next time. If you can drive and have a car why would you not just do that rather than dragging people out to take you. Works out better if flights are delayed etc.

Perhaps FIL is getting what your MIL had, you dont know for sure he was well enough to drive. He should have made the effort though if we'll enough if they initially promised. Not sure why you expect the rest of the family t fetch you though as a taxi was available.

The rest is a little me me me. My family goes away all the time, I don't call as soon they get home to check they are back. I would imagine they want to relax and unpack etc. Given the flight was an internal one, it's a little OTT to expect others to check you got back safe as you are an adult.

WooWooOwl · 03/01/2015 12:11

They made an arrangement and should have stuck to it, it's really that simple. I can't stand people who don't do things they say they will do.

The unwritten rule in my family is that we give each other lifts to and from the airport, but I wouldn't judge others negatively for not having the same attitude. It's not fair for you to think your in laws are doing something wrong just because they do it differently to your family, I'm sure your family aren't perfect either.

Personally I find it irritating when family calls just to check I'm ok after doing a journey, or when they expect me to call them. It's pointless in my mind.