to continue using the disabled facilities at my local pool?

[HedgehogsDontBite]

Our new local pool has a separate changing room for people with disabilities. I was using them when I was there with toddler DS today. A member of staff politely told me that I should be using the family changing room next door. Now I feel bad for using it.

The reason I use it is because the family changing room is very busy and noisy and opens onto the big pool area which is also really busy and noisy and I can't cope with it. The other is small and nearly always empty and opens directly into the smaller not so busy training pool.

The disabled facilities appear to be geared up just for people with physical disabilities. Is it wrong to use them because I have ASD?

I have had to wait to use the changing room with ds, because other disabled users are using them, that just means that there should be more disabled facilities (our local leisure centre is well used by many groups of adults and children with disabilities), not that they shouldn't be using them.

Yanbu. ASD is a disability.

Your disability makes using the pool just as hard as someone with physical disabilities.

That's why we don't have a hierarchy of disability !

Coming on and saying I've got a wheelchair and YOU shouldn't be using it is JUST as depressing as someone able bodied saying it.

Noise can be unbearable for those with ASD and of course they shouldnt wait til it's quiet or go somewhere else.

Im sorry MrsMcColl, but your DD's disability does not trump someone else's just because you deem it to be less severe.
Disabled facilities are for anyone who is unable to access the standard facilities, there isn't a pecking order. I could not have taken my children swimming had I not had use of them.
If you think that they should be only for physical disabilities, what should people with ASD do, who are unable to use the standard cubicles but in your world, not allowed to use disabled either?

And the bottom line is I don't get to decide if you're disabled 'enough' to use it.

You're disabled, you use the facilities.

I would say 'we do have a disability and this change g room helps us, like it's meant to' with a smile and move on.

I say this as a very disabled person x

The old pool only had regular changing rooms so I never went. Or rather I went once but I couldn't cope it with it. It was my social worker who told me about the disabled changing room at the new pool and who arranged for a carer to go with me the first time I used it.

YANBU, if you have a disability that means you cannot access the pool without using the disabled changing area then that is entirely reasonable.

Mrs your attitude and post is so depressing. The notion of the 'deserving' and 'undeserving' disabled, is very damaging and has real impact on peoples' lives in the UK, today, what with the introduction of PIP and other reforms. I work in the Disability Rights field and can't tell you how important it is that people with disabilities and those assisting them, support each other and change attitudes. Please try to look outside of your situation, to help your dd and others to realize and access their rights.

I think I'm going to get a 'I have autism' type card laminated to take with me. I didn't say anything at the time because in that type of situation I can't speak or make eye contact at all.

MrsMcColl my son has severe ASD and as a result we use the disabled changing facilities. It has taken years for us to be able to make it as far as the pool. Changing sensory overload is so bad that we have had to leave before the pool. When he gets distressed by the noise, smells of perfume/ shampoo etc he looses the ability to control his movements, he hits himself and gets very distressed. It can take hours to calm down to the point he can get into the car to go home.

Physically to look at him of course he could use a normal changing room but practically not a hope in hell.

Swimming is very beneficial for him. It gives him a better sense of control of his limbs. When he submerges it helps to reduce the constant noise/ sensory overload he feels.

We use some of his DLA to belong to a private gym that we use at very quiet times. We chose it because of its disabled facilities and understanding staff.

I know what the prevailing attitude is, and that's why we can no longer go swimming. It's just another way in which we have to accept our lives are limited.

I wish pools would allocate more facilities. It does seem a shame, though, that changing rooms that are especially (and expensively) equipped for wheelchair users often can't be used by them because they are being used by people with non-physical disabilities.

We've had to use disabled facilities before as despite being able to get from his wheelchair to the cubicle on foot DS2 is phobic of hand driers (ASD).

You've every right to use it.

Mrs McColl surely your anger would be better directed at those responsible for the shortage of facilties, rather than at another parent who is also struggling to cope?

I don't think you are being unreasonable to use it but I think it's a genuine mistake that a attendant could make with unseen disabilities.

Surely just a polite explanation on your part would have resolved this?

YANBU. Our local centre has one adapted changing room for those with physical disabilities (shower bed and hoist) and 3 larger cubicles that are also disabled changing rooms. They then have larger cubicles labelled as family changing rooms (in family changing village) and lots of individual changing rooms.

They are there for reasonable adjustment. Like when I go out with my 10yo DS with SN. Sometimes he'll use the men's toilet but other times we use a disabled toilet. Why? Because part of his disability is bowel problems and he needs help. It's very sad that everytime I use disabled toilet or take him in ladies with me I always imagine a MN thread somewhere slagging off what someone saw and it being me.

You clearly don't understand Mrs. The rooms are designed to accommodate people with disabilities, you are choosing not to use them. People with different disabilities are. You are choosing to limit your activities. The fact that you reiterate a priority for people with physical disabilities suggests that you perceive people as being
deserving or undeserving. Would you be so indignant if you had to wait because many other wheelchair users were at the pool each day and you couldn't be certain of when the room would be free?

can be translated but can't see Swedish on there

YANBU at all.

mrsMcColl your situation is sad too, can you book a certain time to go or anything like that? Anyone with a disability should feel comfortable using a disabled changing room. Is there a special school with good enough facilities near you? YANBU either but I can't see a happy medium.

MrsMcColl these things are absolutely NOT just for physical disabilities.

I have to share a cubicle with my 15 year old autistic son because he is not safe left alone.If a normal one isn't big enough and there are no family ones,I will have to use a disabled one.

Likewise,when out,if either of us need to go toilet we will use the disabled toilets unless we can get in the ladies for him to go while I stand outside in the ladies room or if I need to go I often have no choice but to have ds in with me so often use the disabled loo with him stood turned around-not possible in normal loo,otherwise he could disappear in seconds. I do tend to make sure he goes at the same time though.

Sacred the OP's disability means she can't deal with explanations. One of the many reasons that ASD is disabling.

OP - I have one of these in my wallet and have used it once or twice when the pressure of a situation has caused all words to fly out of my head!

www.icecard.co.uk/?gclid=CLPN5Lye9sICFUXKtAod5nwA_g

It's pretty helpful. I'd recommend them. Sometimes I just can't explain the ASD and it makes things a little easier.

Of course you can use them. They are there to make life easier for people with all disabilities.

Sugar!

that teaches me to type, think, edit, retype for so long the thread moves on.

Apologies.

Hedgehog many disabilities are 'silent' if you need privacy and there is no other option then I think you have as much right to use the accessible changing facility.