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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let ds (5) spend some of his christmas money?

72 replies

Whowillsaveyoursoul · 02/01/2015 18:35

Ds was lucky enough to receive £700 in money this christmas. He does most Christmases and birthdays so consequently has a lot of money saved.
He had some playmobil pirates for christmas and wants to buy as island for them. It's £50. Dh says ds has had loads for christmas and doesn't need anything else...which is true. However I think if he pays in £650 to his savings £50 isn't too much to spend on something he'd really like. His birthday isn't until June so he's a while to wait otherwise.
Aibu to think it would be ok for him to have the £50?

OP posts:

Tattiebogle · 02/01/2015 21:06

Myotherusername has is spot on, especially this part some people just like to suck the joy out of everything.

Original poster

Whowillsaveyoursoul · 02/01/2015 21:06

Oh and much richer than me!!

OP posts:

myotherusernameisbetter · 02/01/2015 21:12

It doesn't sound like your son is going to be short of cash in the long term but it will be good for him to know that he has his own saved to make his way in the world.

As millionaires, if PIL were giving £5000 I'd say that was intended for savings, £500 from them I would guess was intended to to be spent as it will be an insignificant amount to them. My boys got £80 each from their only grandparent. she is only on her state pension so it was hard saved and she would be happy for them to spend it as that's what it is for - to give them pleasure and by return she gets pleasure too by seeing them enjoy it. She is unlikely to be around to see them use it as a deposit on a flat. If they save the money then we need to make up something that they have bought to show her - usually just something else that they already got for Christmas that she would appreciate.

Artandco · 02/01/2015 21:14

I would let him spend it.

My ds's also get a fair amount in money at Xmas and birthdays. We put 90% into savings and let them spend 10% if they want ( in two diff accounts).

SouthCoastSister · 02/01/2015 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tattiebogle · 02/01/2015 21:17

Ok dear, we've noticed you.

hth :)

Original poster

Whowillsaveyoursoul · 02/01/2015 21:18

Unnecessary south.
Pil have five other grandchildren - all now in their 20s. They've received similar to ds and none are coke addicts. All have jobs. None have gone off the rails.

OP posts:

HaroldLloyd · 02/01/2015 21:20

Don't pay any attention, what a load of rubbish. Every wealthy person is a coke addict? Ok.

306235388 · 02/01/2015 21:22

Oh let him spend the £50 it's his money.

My cd have approx £150 each - Ds spent his on some play station games and a football and has £90 left. Dd spent some of hers on random crap from Tiger and 2 CDs. She has £120 left.

They'll spend the rest of the money throughout the year. They only usually run out in say September and that's fine because it's both their birthdays after that and then christmas. They enjoy occasionally being able to treat themselves and Ds at 8 definitely understands that once it's spent it's spent there will be no more opportunities to but things he likes.

The kids also have a decent amount of money in the bank but even if they didn't id let them spend some of their present money.

GraysAnalogy · 02/01/2015 21:24

Aww someones jealous

nancy75 · 02/01/2015 21:25

SouthCoastSister what a delightful comment to make about a 5 year old child. Jealousy is such an unattractive trait.

MinionsAndLego · 02/01/2015 21:26

South Threads like these always bring out jealous people and those who are short of money.

nancy75 · 02/01/2015 21:26

OP I would let him buy the toy, it's not going to make a dent on his savings and it looks like the kind of thing that will get used and enjoyed lots.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 03/01/2015 01:50

He has a lot in savings. I'm impressed.

Allow him to get this toy.

Out of curiosity what do say to the people who have gifted him this money.

RandomNPC · 03/01/2015 02:06

Fuck it, let him have his island. Playmobil is ace, wish I was five years old again and could play with it too.

Scrumbled · 03/01/2015 02:14

YANBU let him have the much desired toy and really enjoy it.

MistressDeeCee · 03/01/2015 03:12

Whilst I agree some should be saved its actually his money. He should certainly be able to spend some of it on something he really likes. Let him treat himself, why not..it doesn't follow that if he treats himself he will somehow end up frivolous. Its nice he gets so much money as a gift but still..Im always in 2 minds about that. If all is saved then there is nothing physical to show those who gave gifts, that he actually got something out of it. I wanted to word that a little differently but can't quite think how at the moment! ie unless there is an understanding that the money is so that you can build a nest egg for your child as he is growing up then buying a couple of things seems fine.

Original poster

Whowillsaveyoursoul · 03/01/2015 08:14

Piper - we just say thank you to those that have given him money. In all honesty ds is probably happier with a £1 coin than the cheques from my parents and pil because he doesn't really understand how much value the paper holds! We will be putting those in the bank anyway. If he spends the £50 it will be from the physical cash gifts that other kind relatives have given him - and I expect they did think he would spend it as they gave it in lieu of a present.
We will then write and say thank you and probably say what ds bought with the money.

OP posts:

slev · 03/01/2015 08:36

DS (4 but nearly 5) also got money for Christmas - coincidentally a cheque for £50 from one aunt as well premium bonds from grandparents.

We did as a previous poster said and made a day trip of spending it - took him to Hamleys and he bought a few different things. But we were very clear that once he'd spent it, that was it - and so when we went to the farm the next day, we wouldn't let him have any of the usual tat from the gift shop because he'd spent his money.

I work on the basis that he was given it instead of a present, so it should be spent on him - he could just have easily had another present instead, but this way he got to choose. Whereas the premium bonds were quite clearly for saving so he's not getting his hands on those just yet!

Ilovehamabeads · 03/01/2015 08:41

I always think relatives who have given gift sized amounts of money would want it to be spent and so that's what my children usually do. If they are lucky enough to receive more than £50 in total, I ask that they save some too. None of my family are rich so if dc really wanted something costing £50 they would be unlikely to ever receive it as a present, and spending their own money would be the only way they could get it. My DS at 5 was into playmobil dinosaurs and had a few of the smaller sets as gifts. He chose to spend his money on the big £50 t-Rex erupting volcano set and honestly that set was brilliant and bought the smaller sets to life too. He got so much more play out of them all. Definitely let your DS buy the toy the wants with his money. I'm sure that's what the gift senders would really want.

DropYourSword · 03/01/2015 08:48

And now pissed off would you be at 18 when you discovered your parents let your five year old self piss 700 up the wall each CHRISTMAS on a load of shite?

It's not 700 though. It's 50. Which is 1/14th of the amount he got. I think it's totally fair for him to spend that.

EhricJinglingHisBallsOnHigh · 03/01/2015 08:55

Sounds like you are raising him to have an appreciation of what he has and not to be wasteful with money, even though he won't ever be short, which is great. So yes, let him buy the playmobil, and save the rest.

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