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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - MIL feeding DS (11mo) out of date food

57 replies

0ddsocks · 01/01/2015 17:53

We are staying with MIL and FIL. MIL made the kids (3 and 11mo) cheese on toast for tea. I noticed the cheese was 1 month out of date and decided to take it off DS (11mo) as I didn't want him to get ill - he had a stay in hospital 2 weeks ago so I'm a bit protective of him atm. Was happy to let 3yo eat it, made DS marmite on toast instead. MIL seems offended now.

Was that unreasonable? I am quite careful about food hygiene having 2 young children, and in my opinion they are generally too relaxed about it - food left out all day when it should be in the fridge, that kind of thing.

OP posts:

littleducks · 01/01/2015 19:29

A hard cheese like Cheddar? YABU

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 01/01/2015 19:39

Agree that although yabu it is understandable that you are feeling cautious over health, an apology with explanation should make things fine. If a short apology with explanation isn't enough to clear the air, with no atmosphere, then they Abu too.

MinionsAndLego · 01/01/2015 19:47

YANBU but I don't understand why you let your 3 year old eat it

MiddleAgedandConfused · 01/01/2015 19:50

Yanbu!

trufflesnout · 01/01/2015 19:51

Dunnae how to embed a Youtubes, but have a link to David Mitchell ranting about cheese & sell by dates.

But if you don't feel like watching, here's a quote from Stephen Fry in that clip "cheese is the celebration of what happens to milk gone off big-time-stylee"

WeeFreeKings · 01/01/2015 19:57

Offended or embarrassed? Perhaps she felt caught out by serving something out of date? Whilst people may feel dates on food are just suggestions or to be interpreted, in all fairness one doesn't really have a leg to stand on if someone rejects said food due to it being out of date. The eater can choose to ignore the date (or the parent of eater) but the giver can hardly blame them if they choose to adhere to what is in essence a legal stick in the sand of when something should be eaten.

Shattered2014 · 01/01/2015 20:00

Trust your eyes and your taste buds as manufacturers make a fortune out of these sell by/use by dates. Do not be taken in by them - its telling that you even find them on vinegar which is used for preserving!

thinkingaboutthis · 01/01/2015 20:00

I wouldn't eat look at the dates on something like cheese, in fact I chuck the packaging as soon as it's opened. Surely you wouldn't throw cheese away if it was past it's sell by but perfectly fine?

WineWineWine · 01/01/2015 20:14

If there was no mould on it then it would have been fine to eat.
The use by date is not that important. It depends how it's been stored.

Szeli · 01/01/2015 20:37

ywbu and rude.

i'd be quite put out if someone saw fit to waste my food like that. why not say before it was cooked?

frozen70 · 01/01/2015 20:55

yanbu

notauniquename · 01/01/2015 21:05

packaging dates:

Best Before, - this product will be at it's best before this date (for example Stilton is "at it's best" after 13 weeks since the milk first curdled. perfectly safe to eat after this date, just "best" at that time.)

Use by, - This product should be used by, and may be unsafe if used after this time due to unseen bacteria etc. (this is why use by appears on meat and fish)

No big conspiracy, just a failure of most to be able to understand plain English written on packaging.

Cheese has a best before date as it's just at it's best before that time. not that it's dangerous after it. -but you already knew that, which is why you let the three year old eat it.

sanfairyanne · 01/01/2015 21:09

yabu if it was cheese (but i understand why you are a bit paranoid)

ywnbu if it was, say, cooked then reheated then reheated then reheated sausages (mil, thank you )

Oppugno · 01/01/2015 21:10

YABU not to have taken it off of both of your children.

I would love to know your reasonings for not allowing one child to eat something you think could potentially be harmful but you allow another one of your children to eat it

Kundry · 01/01/2015 21:17

Soft cheese - not unreasonable

Hard cheese - YABtotallyU

Milk is made into cheese to preserve it! It was invented before fridges existed - it's fine!

wowfudge · 01/01/2015 21:19

What do pps think would happen from consuming out of date cheese? You wouldn't like it in our house....

Discopanda · 01/01/2015 21:25

I don't think YABU because your younger child won't have an immune or digestive system as well developed as your older child. My MIL frequently eats gone off food, not just cheese, she cuts the mould off then makes fun of me for not eating old food. BUT she managed to give herself and FIL really awful food poisoning by cutting mould off of fish and serving it.

minipie · 01/01/2015 21:26

I can understand being extra careful given hospital stay.

Ordinarily though I am firmly in the "if it looks, smells, tastes ok then it is ok" camp. We (incl toddler dd) frequently eat out of date food and have never had tummy upsets from it, following these rules. And especially cheese and even more especially cooked cheese should be ok.

So - neither of you is being unreasonable - usually I'd agree with your mum but given hospital stay I think it's fair to be extra careful.

SorchaN · 01/01/2015 22:38

I never bother looking at the date on hard cheese.

On the other hand, if I were preparing food for someone else's recently hospitalised baby I'd be a bit more careful...

LeonardWentToTheOffice · 01/01/2015 22:51

Loving your use of the word "todo" 0ddsocks - not heard that in years!! and I think the only person I've ever heard say it is my mum! I shall make an effort from now on to use it more. It's such a fab word!

Old cheese is fine - sure they'd both have been fine - don't blame you for wishing to swerve the todo of taking it off your 3 year old!

My mum made cheese straws with a cheese I had in my fridge which was a year out of date and they were blimmin gorgeous

SistersOfPercy · 01/01/2015 22:57

Little known fact, if you observe food at midnight on the best before date it explodes in a poof of bacteria and mould and instantly becomes extremely hazardous.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/01/2015 22:58

I grew up in the days before 'Use-by' and 'Best before' dates, so I will often rely on the evidence of my senses - as an earlier poster said, if it looks and smells OK, it is probably perfectly fine to eat. My mum used to crack eggs one at a time into a special cup, kept for the purpose, and sniff them, before putting them into whatever she was cooking.

There are some foods I am more cautious with - fish/seafood, and pork and chicken - but hard cheese improves with age, so the cheese was probably not only safe to eat, it was probably very tasty too.

haphazardbystarlight · 01/01/2015 23:30

A note of caution though - in summer 2009 my dad made his usual mess meal consisting of part-rotted veg and food bought from Asda Whoops! Normally it didn't bother me but that summer I had just come out of hospital and I had to be re admitted as I was sick (vomiting) and was very weak.

Normally I would say it's fine, don't worry but personally never with babies as they dehydrate so easily and never with someone unwell.

DH is a doctor and has endorsed the above

Plateofcrumbs · 01/01/2015 23:53

I thought I was pretty laid back about such matters but how long do you have to leave fish before it goes mouldy?! Not surprised they got food poisoning discopanda

Morloth · 02/01/2015 00:31

We do the sniff it test. If it smells alright we eat it.

Also then ten second rule is more like a 10 minute rule.

We are never ill.

I often wonder which comes first. The worrying about it or the being ill.

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