As is the case every year, Christmas/new year has been marred by my DH's drinking. He doesn't drink everyday, but he rarely goes a few days without a drink. Festive occasions, parties, etc, he gets paralytic, no matter how much I plead with him not to. He can't go out for a few drinks with a mate, he has to roll in at 1am completely slaughtered.
This isn't new, it's been the case for the whole of our relationship (and it predates me, as I've seen letters his ex sent him which mentioned his extreme drinking) - not so noticeable in our 20s, but now that we (and our friends) are in our forties, have kids, etc, the adolescent drinking till he can't stand/speak is really pathetic.
Next week we have a friend's birthday party and I'm dreading it already.
So what do I do? I've tried reasoning, arguing, being calm, being livid. Five years back I threw him out for a few days, just after Christmas, and told him I wouldn't have my children living in a house with someone who passes out on the sofa with a bottle of JD in their hand and wets themself. It's never been as bad as that since, but I still can't trust him to know when to stop, or to not lie about it (tonight he claimed to have had two G&Ts. I was suspicious as he was slurring and staggering around. I go into the kitchen and there's a quarter of a bottle of gin gone (that's on top of a few beers and half a bottle of champagne - or at least, that's what I've managed to deduce. There might have been more).
I don't know what I'm asking, really, other than what can I do? He can't/won't admit to a problem. I've tried talking to his mum but she seems to think I'm making it up or being overly controlling (even though she's seen the states he gets into and heard it from people other than me).
Any advice? Anyone been in a similar situation and found a solution?
Sorry for the rambling rant. Just at the end of my tether, I suppose. I don't want to still be dealing with this same shit next Christmas.
What can I do?
AIBU?
To ask how to deal with a heavy drinking spouse?
CrystalHaze · 01/01/2015 02:12
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I've just told my partner to move out in the new year due to his drinking... 
He sounds like your husband in that once he starts drinking, he cannot stop and has to always take it too far. We had a row last night, I already told him right after Christmas to go (final straw for me was when we took the kids to Pizza Hut for half an hour before the movies and he downed two large glasses of white wine, pathetic!), he insisted on staying at home for NYE with me and I said no, he should go out and get pissed as I just want a quiet night at home and not have to deal with him passing out on me at 9pm. To prove himself, he only had two glasses of red wine last night... Whatever! I don't think it will last... Sad, though. I told him not to blame him moving out on me, he had a choice and he has chosen drinking over all of us... Good luck Crystal!
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