So I just offered to babysit for my friend and her DH

[Beautifulbabyboy]

so they could go out for a night, in which they could do anything ie. go for dinner / movie / or just one drink in a pub. He said "no". This was a "no" according to my friend, his wife, because he is just not interested in going out at night with her…

For the sake of completeness, there are no money issues (they can easily afford a drink), he has a stressful but not too demanding job. He plays football with his mates twice a week. I am also considered a trustworthy friend so it is not a concern with me babysitting as I look after their children during the day sometimes (they are aged 3 and 1).

I just don't get it….. is it me being unreasonable??? Or his position perfectly normal?? My DF raised her eyebrows when he said "No" but didn't contradict…I would go hopping mad if I could go out with my DH and he said no….

thoughts??

Hmmm, slightly odd in my book. But, disclaimer, I'm one of those who will go out at the drop of a hat/go to the opening of an envelope and grab any offer of childcare with gusto.

Our friends offered us this last year. We said no. We both work full time, and DD still woke 2/3 times a night so we were often exhausted. Our house is a mess, we spend weekends / free time cleaning or catching up up on sleep. DP goes out quite often, I'm more introvert so less interested. We're both perfectly happy with our social lives, but we still said no.

Hmmmmm Im now sort of thinking that he had no right to say no on both of their behalves. Does he come across like a grump? Something in you must have made you wonder or you wouldnt have posted about it.

Yes, just ask her if she'd like to go out one night.

Is it possible that he really hates owing people favours, especially as you already babysit for them in the daytime? We've said no to babysitting offers for this reason and we quite like each other, honest!

I have a lovely friend who I trust completely and who sometimes babysits during the day. She's offered to babysit in the evenings, but I've been too tired/too pregnant/too tied up with baby number two/etc. probably my excuses sound flakey, but the reality is it's just too much bother. Which doesn't reflect on her babysitting skills at all!

I had a happy front to a sham marriage.

I got a reservation at a very famous restaurant for his birthday present. Deliberately booked lunch not dinner as I had to avoid the overnighter as I couldn't bear to share a bed with him.

I'm divorced now

I'd tend to say "that's really lovely, thank you, I'll keep it in mind" to that now. Which is a bit dishonest as it means "no thank you". The no being that I can afford a babysitter that I know my child likes and behaves for, and I hate taking favours from friends - even though the latter is silly and entirely my issue!

Shouldn't put him on the spot - I would have let her know and she can work it out with him.

Due to a busy life, I'm glad if someone could have DC for a few hours where I can order take away and chill in front of the tele.

For this to happen it would have to be an overnight stay.

DH & I are similar to bearsinmotion except it is me who goes out more than DH.
A lovely friend offered to babysit, but we said no thanks, because quite frankly, we are too tired, DD2 wakes in the night, is very hard to settle (I have to lie with her and it has to be me etc etc).

We have no family near to babysit, but we are happy with the status quo.