Aibu have just seriously offended my family

[Aubrianna]

I see my dad once a year roughly (only extra if there's a wedding or something). This is pretty much his choice we have a difficult history since my mum died when I was a teenager and the relationship just faded away.

They are supposed to be visiting today , my grandmother and step mother are with him. My grandmother has a chest infection, my step mother a virus (temp etc) and to top it off the went to my sisters house yesterday (for her yearly visit) and she is currently in the midst of a sickness bug which has her dh and 2 children throwing up.

I called my dad this morning and there was some disagreement over whether or not they should come today. He won - they are coming . But my grandmother was shouting in the background she is never coming again I don't think anyone will ever speak to me once today is over.

We have 5 children under 10 years old, we both work full time one illness getting into the house is difficult and expensive . We still have to pay childcare and we are self employed and so we don't work we don't get paid.

Was I being unreasonable to have this conversation with them? Am I in the wrong here?

2015 it does not matter, my dd was at a party where one of the children had DV and she caught it after being there for a couple of hours.

Hide until they go away!

YANBU but your relatives sound U and controlling and possibly bonkers.

What do you gain from this relationship? Or are you only continuing it out of feelings of fear, obligation and/or guilt?

Tbh it's so rare I see them it would normally be more of an effort to argue than just let it slide. My dad is on his 3rd wife and has had a few girlfriends as well so his attention is normally elsewhere!

I understand there is still a risk but clearly it's a lot less if they are only there for a few hours. As Aeroflots experience shows unless you are prepared to hibernate you can't protect them 100%. For a once in a year visit I would have thought it was an ok risk.

2015 are you crazy, not only is granny vomitting and DV but her dh, and other family members. I am sorry but its not worth the risk, there is a high chance op and her family will get it. They are being very selfish and irresponsible to impose themselves on others, especially with young children. Why put yourself in that situation unesessarily, it can be avoided, they can come on a different day if they really want to see op and her family.

Op tell them not to come, and that they can come on another day, please do not have them at your house, unless you want to clean up sick diahoria (sp) for the next week or so.

YANBU x 1000!!
Put them off.
Quite apart from yourselves, it won't be doing your SM and GM any good to be gadding about in the cold when they are ill.

the risk is not lessened by the length of the visit. they could spread the contagion the instant they step over the door

OP - you know they are being bossy and rude and downright stupid. They want to dictate when they visit and will not postpone/rearrange because they want to be in control. You only have a very superficial relationship with them and their actions are demonstrating they don't give a toss about anyone else but themselves.

They won't enjoy it if they are ill.

Go out and stay out. Just don't be there.

Can you not go to the hotel and have a cup of coffee, exchange gifts then come home?

Anyone who told me they were coming anyway, with illnesses, when asked nicely not to, would get the super short shrift from me and their presents launched up the garden

Don't let them in OP! How could you lose a debate about who comes to your house, it is impossible to lose such an argument. It is your home.

Aeroflot. I'm not that crazy but I can read.

I thought I must have missed the bit where the OP says that the granny is vomiting 'and DV' as that would be a lot worse bu, having checked, the OP hasn't said that at all. .

OP, they really do sound awful so if you don't want to take the risk then don't.

Tell them not to come, its just not worth it. My dad insisted on visiting on Xmas eve with a bad cold, saying he was not contagious. I was furious as we have 3dc under 4, lo and behold we have all spent Xmas with nasty colds, thanks dad!

I wouldn't risk it, especially for people that you rarely see anyway. What sort of person would want to infect children with a sickness bug anyway?! There's no way those people would be coming anywhere near my children.

Ugghh PreetyLittleMitty it's one of my pet hates when people who are displaying clear symptoms of illness say they're 'not contagious', how can they know that!

DD and I have been ill for the past 12 days with this awful virus. We haven't
visited anyone over Christmas at all, even though we are bored silly. I wouldn't deliberately ruin anyone else's Christmas/New Year by being selfish and visiting them.
Tell em to keep their germs to themselves.

oh right its her sister who has got the vomitting bug and her dh and kids, but as they have been around them, they might be brewing it themselves.

Expatinscotland has the right idea. Ensure you are not there when they arrive .

I thought it was it was granny and her dh that were and op dad. Sorry 1955 .

No problem -

I really would cancel. It won't be a pleasant visit and not worth making your children ill for.

What did you decide? I hope whatever happened today none of you become ill.