And move away from my home town.
I'm going to sum things up as short as I can, if not this would be a huge thread.
Reasons for wanting to leave:
- No longer speak with half my family. Reason for that is some members I was very close to decided to befriend my abuser and basically betrayed me. He is now an active part of their lives.
- Problems with the children's father. Recently my middle daughter told me she had been raped. Whilst out with her father at weekends when I was working. Case is ongoing. This was the final straw in many things that have happened whilst in their fathers care ranging from broken arm, damage and subsequent removal of four year old ds front tooth. Chipped front adult tooth of eldest dd. Driving them without seat belts, allowing all four children to play in a loft that isn't floored with planks between beams. Telling them to keep secrets from me. My girls telling me they are scared of their fathers temper. And most recently, my 9 year old dd saying she doesn't want to sleep in daddies bed anymore because she is uncomfortable with the fact he sleeps naked. Every time.
- Recent fall out with my best friend of four years resulting in her slapping me twice, throwing me out of her house and banning me from seeing her child that I am also very close too. Row was over an engineer that came to the house after the carbon monoxide monitor alarm went off and was rude to me. We'd both had a bit to drink and I wasn't impressed and was rude back. Decided to call it a night and best friend flipped, saying if I was leaving I could get out of her house, accused me of stealing money from her and basically treated me like dirt. For what it's worth, I've never stolen in my life and have done loads for that girl, financially and emotionally.
- Terrible memories up here, from my brother and best friends suicides to not feeling comfortable walking around the tiny High street wondering who I am going to bump into next.
- Lack of opportunities, lack of opportunities for the children.
- I'm plain miserable and despite counselling and antidepressants, I hate living in this town and want to move back down to be with my brother in England.
I've wanted to move for about four years but wouldn't do it because the kids and I are close to my mum and they have family here. They love their dad and moving away would mean seeing him a lot less. I feel trapped. The last couple of years have been horrific with the things above, cancer scares, nervous breakdowns, homelessness, three house moves as a result. I just want a normal, quiet, regular, drama free life with my children.
Shoot.