Heating

[Lime8]

Aibu to shout at my dh about heating. It's bloody freezing and we have a new baby.

I asked him to put heating on and he said he would. I noticed it wasn't coming on so I asked him why and he said it was due to come on timer soon. Actually it was over an hour til the timer comes on. How tight can one man be?

Then I ran a bath for our baby. Water is cold. I half filled bath whilst I got on with chores.

I ask him about that and he says he switched the timer for that claims we discussed it. We didn't, having a baby means I need access to hot water all the time (washing bottles, hand washing, nappy changes, baths etc at unpredictable times).

He says he is saving money. And we can't be constantly boiling water! I get I am on maternity leave but I am not sitting at home freezing with our baby to save a few quid. Things are not that tight.

Surely if they were he would not have "treated" himself to a very expensive gadget the other day and spent 150 quid on sale shopping for himself today?!

Another thing is we are in credit with gas and electricity! He says our water bill will be affected, but surely having water on all day won't make that much difference to either bill? Isn't it worse to have the boiler come on and heat the entire tank up to temprature from ice cold than keep it at a constant warm temp? We have an old boiler not a nice new combi boiler.

I am so angry (and cold). So aibu or is my silky tight selfish husband?!

FlowerFairy what are you on about?

Sorry but £6k on heating and electricity is as mental as not having it on when its freezing / dark outside.

OP just turn the heating on.

Is your house massive, flower fairy, or poorly insulated with a crap heating system? Even if you are very well off, surely it would be worth investing in insulation and/or more efficient heating, because utility bills are such a dull thing to spend your money on, no matter how much you have?

But I agree that there's no sense in all the competitive coldness going on, and I sometimes think all the hot water bottles, only heating one room and endless blankets etc must not actually be any cheaper than just putting the bloody heating on .

Too hot is as bad as too cold. I'd melt at 23, we have our thermostat set at 18 and with the sun our front room is often warmer for free

Link for temperature guidance (16-20 for a baby's room) www.babycentre.co.uk/x1050952/whats-the-safest-temperature-for-my-babys-room

here's one for on all the time vs timer (it depends how well insulated your house is and you can test it by running one way for a week then another way for another week and comparing meter readings) www.uswitch.com/energy-saving/guides/heating-on-all-the-time/

FlowerFairy ...haven't seen you in a while. It's a bit pointless name changing though. Trust me, if I can spot you, you might as well keep the same name

It is irrelevant what everyone else sets their thermostat at, because unless you have one in every room it will not be accurate, other than the small amount of air in that specific part if the house.

OMGtwins- I can assure you - you would not melt, I lived in SE Asia for a while temps averaged 35 degrees. No-one melted.

Why are you letting him dictate to you like this? Why is he in control of it?? Set it to a reasonable level and tell him to piss off

Next time, turn the heating on yourself before you start feeding?

Ah ha! Chipping - I read flowerfairy's post and thought 'that must be ....' But saw it wasn't . I don't think I've ever spotted a name changer before.

bigblue ok I wouldn't melt, but it would take some time to adjust and I hate being too hot.

Then again, this is about what temp is right for babies not us so it doesn't really matter about our different preferences

NHS guidance recommends 18 give or take a couple of degrees is right for babies, esp when small as they don't have the ability to regulate their own temp.

(Chipping I have never voluntarily changed name ever on line anywhere. If I wanted to hide I would, but I am unique... perhaps on this thread unique in being more than happy to spend £6k a year on power - 5000 sq foot house, I am in it most of the day as work at home, lots of children, lots of electronics, more than happy to have a warm house, although we do sleep with the heating off and I have my bed room window open.

I don't regard it as a boring choice as to what to spend my money on in addition to school fees etc... I think it's one of the best choices I make as it makes every second in my house wonderful warm cosy and comfortable - every day I wake happy I earn enough not to worry about heating bills. ).

Tell your 'D'H if he wants to save money then the first thing he can do is take back his 'treats'.

If you can afford to have it on more then he is being totally unreasonable. But I don't understand why he seems to be the god of the controls over finance / heating etc. Surely it's something you sit down and discuss as a family and all income is family income?

YANBU op. The one 'luxury' which my dh and I see as 'essential' is a lovely warm house. We never hesitate to bung the temp control up to 80 Centigrade (no Celsius on it!) We're 70 and feel the cold. I get savage and bite people if I'm chilly.

Please don't even argue with your dh, just set the temp to high in this really cold snap and be comfortable with your little one.

I can put up with a lot of things but I'm damned if I'll be cold at home. YANBU.

A cold house is a miserable house. Heating comes before treats in my priority list!

Can't stand cold houses. Our bedroom is about 23-24

18 to me is freezing.

I'd fight for my right to warmth.

He's bang out of order.

I even put my radiators on in the summer if the day has been damp. Especially if there's a bit of washing that needs finishing off.

Actually you need heat to help keep damp away. Which is very bad for young babies.

And some people feel the cold.more than others. I get numb fingers quite quickly whereas DH is a heating off kind of guy.

In the early days of our first baby, DH was in charge of heating but I took over. After a lot of nagging etc he doesn't mess with the heating. Now the DC are older, we compromise - we dress in thick jumpers, slippers etc when it is cold and I even have hot water bottles for the DC. But the heating stays on with the thermostat set for 19/20C. (This is quite low compared to what I used to like it at!!)

(Damp is bad)