to vent rather than ask if IABU because I know I am not.

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

My dad's partner bought me a top for Christmas. As I was opening it, she said she had made a mistake with it and I would see what she meant once it was opened.

The top was about 2 sizes too small. She said she thought it was too small when she boùght it for me, but she did not want to insult me by getting a bigger size.

How can you insult someone by getting them something that fits them?

I am fat- no two ways about it. So why the fuck buy me clothing in the first place when you KNOW it is going to be too small, then follow that up with a comment that getting me a size that WOULD fit me, would be insulting??

She said I could either see if I could fit into it at a later date or I could give it away.

Urgh. Other than that she was fairly well behaved while she was at ours.

(I cannot exchange the top as they live some distance from us and the label of the top had been cut out. I have no idea where she bought it.)

Sounds like a completely shit present to me. Thoughtless and inconsiderate - she'd have been better off not bothering at all.

An ex of mine used to get really upset that his grandparents frequently sent him clothes in the wrong size - mostly because they CBA to remember how old he was - so he would get a t-shirt for age 8 when he was 13, that kind of thing. There's just no point.

I would have gone along with the "she made a mistake" - easy to do - but the comment about - see if you can fit into it at a later date...is very shit.

Not nice at all. Vent away - she sounds like a real bitch.

and Calleigh - your comment was equally crass. I do happen to think that fitter is healthier - but this doesn't always mean smaller dress sizes. You can be incredibly fit and be in a large size. I wouldn't EVER suggest to someone - even indirectly - that they should lose weight - as it is INCREDIBLY rude.

I would guess she bought it having ummed over getting the size up, but figured it was better to buy the smaller one than upset you by buying the larger.
She's had a peek in your coat/one of your tops while you've been there and discovered you buy 2 sizes bigger.
It's a compliment-you obviously look smaller than you are if that makes sense.

She's bought you a top that she knows is two sizes too small, has told you it would have been"insulting" to buy a top for you in your actual size, and has cut the label out of it so you can't just exchange it.

I think it's a PA way of trying to get you to diet, or at least to tell you that she thinks you should.

As a fellow fat person who believes it is entirely possible to be both fat and healthy, I think that you should give the top to a charity shop, tell her you've done that, and suggest that she avoids buying you clothes if it's so traumatic for her. (I wouldn't usually suggest making a fuss about a present but in this case it's all so loaded and unpleasant that an exception can be made.)

I would just tell her you've given it away.

People are strange about sizing. If my mother buys me something she cuts the tags out in case I see the size, and on the odd occasion when she's taken a pair of my trousers to take up, she's cut the tag out of those too. It's like she thinks that if I don't see the number on my clothes, I won't realise I'm fat.

Just get rid of it and forget about it. And maybe drop hints about a voucher next year.

If it is only two sizes too small, why not make it your aim to be in it by summer?

Yes, women must conform to other people's expectations, mustn't they?

Regift it back to her next year OP.

Totally agree chipped. Im a 14 on top, 16 on bottom. I know I should lose some weight but its not on my radar at the moment. I would be gutted if someone hinted that it should. Its my business.Ignore her op. If it was a hint then she is even ruder.

Thanks for allowing me to vent! I am not upset by PPs that suggest I try to lose weight to fit into it. I would not use that top as my goal, though. It is a cheap and nasty top bought for me KNOWING that it would be too small.

She is an unpleasant individual whom I tolerate for the sake of my father, who, incidentally is also too fat in her eyes.

Thing is, dad and I could lose weight, but she will always be a fucking nasty idiot.

So she bought you a top she knew wouldn't fit, then decided to announce that she knew it wouldn't fit? That's just weird!

Id stick it on eBay and buy yourself something else.

She sounds like a treat! Sell it on ebay ' OP. Buy wine with the money.

That's horrible - give it to charity

When my DD buys presents for me , she just holds it up and guesses

I've got sizes 14 , 12 and 10 they all fit

Meant to say I could do with dropping a bit of weight but know it's not going to happen

Maybe she thought it would fit, so cut the label out so you wouldn't know she had guessed or else was embarrassed about the brand; and then realised she had stuffed up? The comment about keeping it till you fit in it has no plausible explanation, though, just rude.