To be irritated by dh prompting ds to simper to mil on the phone

[Whowillsaveyoursoul]

God it pisses me off.

Say hello to nanny
Tell nanny you miss her
Tell nanny she's your favourite person
Tell nanny how much you love her
Say I can't wait to see you nanny (we saw her yesterday. Seeing her again tomorrow)
Say bye bye nanny love you nanny see you soon!

Ds is 5. He starts to get fed up and then dh tells him off.

Argh. Everytime dh phones her ds has to perform like some sort of monkey.

I don't agree that it is none of the OPs business, she is his mother.
It sounds very sickening and is giving the ds the wrong message.
Bribing somebody to say they love your mother is bizarre.

Tell him to grow up, stop the bribery and tell him he has to simper to his mother not your ds.

You do both need to agree on principle though. It isn't fair for your dh to tell ds to do something and then you say he doesn't have to, especially if it means your ds is punished.

You and dh need to sort this in private, come to a decision you are both going to stick by and then tell your ds what you expect of him.

Agree with your DS what he's going to say before hand.
Let him know he doesn't have to say I love you to anyone if he doesn't feel like it, or let anyone give him a whiskery kiss.

Rehearse his 'lines" with you with the phone in his hand.

Rehearse a dull monotone of the lines your DH wants him to preform.

If your DH insists on him giving his version, your DS can say his lines in the flat monotone. Job done..

Sometimes we have to make small talk in our lives, explain this to your DS, and get him prepared with a few phrases:
How are you nanny, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Take care, stay warm. Now I'm going to play. Bye.

God mil loves that shit. I swear she thinks it's real. Crazy woman.

Aw, I think it's sweet.

Not really. I think it's nauseating and I'd be just as cross about the giving of sweets to a 5 year old.

Tell him to stop. With immediate effect.

I don't think you know what simper means

TooHasty then just replace it with "make sycophantic noises to" or something

I would just say to your dh that at some point when they're face to face MIL will probably say something along the lines of "I know you miss me so much" and he'll turn round with the honesty of a 5yo and say "no I don't daddy makes me say it/gives me a sweet if I say it".

Either that or she can probably hear him in the background hissing instructions so knows it doesn't come from him either.

TooHasty I think it's been understood by all, and simper is certainly not limited to actions whatever the very old dictionary definitions might give, thousands of uses of "simpering voice" as a phrase in books. So I think your definitions are simply out of date, if they were ever in date.

YANBU but there's a simple solution to this. Embarrass DH.

Next time you see MIL raise the subject of the phone calls and laugh like a drain as you say '[Husband's name] is a real card isn't he? Whenever you're on the phone he's behind DS, prompting him to declare undying love to you. If DS won't tell you he's missing you and loves you DH stands there behind him bribing him with sweeties! How ridiculous is that?!".

You are not being unreasonable. It all sounds ghastly. If I were a grandmother this would make me squirm with embarrassment. Then I'd point out I am neither a female goat nor a domestic employee.

Eugh, that really is sickening

I'd put a stop to it as it will eventually put the mockers on DS and his nan's relationship - he's not going to want to go to the phone if he has to go through this monkey business every time.

My cynical ice-cold heart wonders if DH has had advance notice that MIL is currently revising her will...

Bleurgh how weird. Show dh the thread! It might change how he feels.

My DH was similar to this with bribery, and even worse he is constantly Facetiming and shoving the phone in the kids faces when they are watching TV, in bed, or in the middle of something else. The sad thing is that the DC's actually adore their grandparents, but by keep doing this he is causing friction where there really doesn't need to be any. As DC are slightly older now they have started bargaining and asking what they'll get for talking, which is horrid, but 100% due to this sweet type bribery at a younger age and learned behaviour. They aren't like it with any of my family as I just ask if they want to speak, if they do they do, if they don't they dont.