Dog and toddler at family at family gathering.

[Stripylikeatiger]

Dp's cousin has a dog, it's a German Shepard puppy (8 months old so a big but still with the energy of a puppy) they have recently got this dog and it was badly treated at it's previous home.

We have a toddler who doesn't (well didn't) dislike dogs but he's not the sort of child who wants to go and stroke dogs he's happy to look at dogs from a distance.

We arrived at a relatives house yesterday (a mutual relative to both dp and his cousin) and the dog came running up to ds and licked his face, ds was terrified whilst the cousin said oh he just wants to be friends.

For the rest of the day whenever ds got down from his chair the dog came over to him and ds became upset, the dog even put his nose up between ds's legs to try to steal his food whilst he was sat up to the table eating.

Ds spent the afternoon clinging to me terrified of the dog, I tried to explain the dog was friendly but ds wanting nothing to do with the dog.

Aibu to think that if you have a boisterous dog that is speaking the attention of a scared child you keep the dog away? I was also a bit concerned that the dog's behavior could be unpredictable due to the neglect it had suffered in it's first home and also it's young age and I don't think I'd want ds to play with it even if he was not terrified.

I didn't say anything to the cousin as him and his wife have just had their 4th failed IVF and we have our toddler and a newborn and I know how hard dealing with infertility is so I didn't want to make them feel worse. We just cut the visit short and went home.

YANBU: if the dog was bothering the toddler, the dog's owner should have kept the dog away: that's all part of training it.

YANBU. The dog should have been supervised and not allowed to bother your DS. The dog does sound friendly, but as you say a dog from a mistreated home should be supervised at all times until properly assessed. Licking faces, nicking food, licking feet, etc is all annoying behaviour and since they haven't had time to train the dog yet they should have just put him on a lead and kept him near them. Finally your DS's fear alone was reason enough to keep the dog away.

YANBU to not want the dog to keep pestering your child

However, YWVU not to simply say something to the owner. Not sure how infertility affects their ability to control their puppy

I have small dogs and a nephew who's scared of dogs. The dogs are on a lead when he comes over. At meal times I put them in the car so they don't worry him. I think that considerate owners wouldn't mind taking such steps.

This is unacceptable. We are mad about dogs but I would never impose ours on anyone at all let alone a fearful small child, she is kept right out of the room until we are sure people don't mind her joining us. Sometimes we keep her out of the way for their whole visit.

I think those of you who said we should have removed ds from the situation or said something are right, family relationships are quite delicate at the moment do I didn't want to do anything that might be the straw that broke the camals back but I should have put ds first.

I think they treat their dogs a little like their babies (they have other dogs too but they were left at home) and I think thatif we'd said your dog is upsetting my child it would have hurt them. When we were struggling to conceive I found it really hard to be around young children and I think if we had asked them to remove the dog it could have been seen as us saying our dc are more important than their dog which is true! which could be hurtful to them.

Luckily we don't see them very often so it's not a regular occurrence. Next time I might give ds something poisonous to dogs (I think chocolate is?) and if the dog comes close I'll say "watch out, ds has chocolate, you don't want the dog snatching that you'll end up at the vets!" So they have a bit of an incentive to keep the dog and child separate.

Good idea OP, however, to a big dog like a German shepherd, a little bit of human chocolate is unlikely to cause any great harm. I'd just ask them to keep the dog away as he upsets your son. Any decent dog owner will respect that.

Please don't do that. The dog could die.

My DM has two dogs, they are her babies, she adores them and they're spoilt rotten. They are very friendly and no risk of biting (aside from that they are dogs) but also very bouncy and lick a lot.

As soon as we walk in the door with toddler DS the dogs are put in their bed, DS can then get used to them through the gate and when he feels confident with them we let them out but if they jump up at DS they're told off and if too boisterous they go back to bed.

We're only there for a few hours so it does the dogs no harm and for my DM her DGS comes first - however adored her gorgeous doggies are.

I love dogs and always give them the benefit of the doubt, but I felt exactly the same as you OP when the GPs got a rehomed collie puppy.

Now we have no option but to constantly watch DS because the dog refuses to stay shut in a room without barking and chewing things up. If not held the whole time, she will leap straight at him and sometimes even snap. My sister's family westie bit a chunk out of her Ds's face and was obviously put down immediately, so I'm a lot more careful now.

God knows why they went out and bought such a young energetic dog when they must've known it would mean DS couldn't stay with them until he was much bigger.

Forget about their feelings - the safety of your dc IS more important and you have no need to feel guilty about that!