I know I am. And I need to let go. EX's family.

[TheNewWitchOfSWL]

My relationship broke down and my ex moved out in November.
Ex's parents offered 'support' and told me that nothing would change between us for the sake of dd (7). We used to get on well and always spent holidays together as I have no family of my own here.
I have been very easy going with regarding visits and her staying over at her dad's and so far there has been no drama at all over visitation/money or anything else.
They are crazy about Christmas whilst I am more chilled so I let Dd go and stay with them (PIL's home with her dad and his siblings) from the 23rd until around 30th or 31st (not sure yet) whilst I will stay on my own all this time. Not a big deal.
Come today, I have received only 1 txt message from EX and no messages from PIL or EX's siblings…I know I should't be disappointed as I am no longer part of the family but they knew well that I am alone (and I am complete fine with it)….but I was expecting at least a txt?
I didn't txt them either, so shouldn't complain anyway.
Also I was expecting cards but no cards came. Since DD was born we all spent Christmas together and I always bought lots of very nice gifts for everyone…but I was never a card giver so never gave cards really. They always bought gift and cards for me, so I now realise I have been crossed out their card list. Oh well.
BTW I initiated the separation due to Ex's disrespectful behaviour and excessive drinking which they know very well and have witnessed a ton of times. In fact they always commented on how 'lucky' ex was for having me putting up with him and how I must being a saint.
But yes, blood is thicker then water, I get it.
Just wanted to rent and get over it.
Just appalled on how fake MIL was being when she said she would 'support' me and our 'relationship' wouldn't change.

I know everyone is different, of course they are, but don't you feel the need to talk to your DD? I understand you're doing all this for her, but I'd have my guts gnawing at me waiting to speak to her if she were mine. You seem quite cool about it all, and yet upset that they don't regard your feelings - it's an odd combination.

OP, you can't expect them to read your mind. You seem to be intent on making yourself a victim because of your own passive aggression.

Yes!

The more you write OP the more unreasonable you sound. How old is your dd?
Why have you sent her off for Xmas and not made any attempt to contact her?
You have opted out by sending her off with them and then are now upset that YOUR EXES family aren't focusing their day on you.

Ring your daughter and stop being a martyr to some unknown cause.

She is 7.
Never wanted they to FOCUS their day on me.
Yes I know I am being U.
Needed to be told really.

Yep, def unreasonable.

You're holding a pity party for yourself, and sacrificing your DD to it.

You're upset your exMIL didn't text you (although you have your very own phone and could text her).

Just how upset is your DD going to be that her own mother seemingly couldn't be arsed to call or text her on Xmas day?

Or alternatively how upset will DD be that her mother is so sad when DD isn't there that she's paralysed - so that DD starts feeling responsible for mummy's feelings and that she can't leave her alone?

You have to stop doing this.

A break-up's shit, and you'll be sad and lonely sometimes. But you also have to brace up and get on with it sometimes. Stuff to do with DD = brace up.

Was that enough telling?

I am not sad and not lonely!
I was very cheerful in sending her off with her dad for Granny's Christmas. OTOH her dad had a sour face when picking her up. I guess the alcohol made it all better as the FB photos show.
DD and I have a great relationship and since the separation I have been so much happier and confident that it had a very positive impact on her.
Honestly I might be weird but I don't see the big deal about calling to wish a Merry C since I did it when she went…but I must be weird.
So far Ex didn't get her to call me, even despite me asking...if I behaved that way towards him he would be fuming and accusing me to make contact difficult.
I am calling her now.

Oh and the reason I am not calling myself is because sometimes her dad call and she is busy doing something and doesn't want to speak to him. I still make her say at least "hello, how are you?"
So if I call and she is busy and don't want to talk to me the whole family will probably feel 'epic' and smile inside. I know they ll got hurt that I decide to leave their poor family member and be out of the clan.

Let me give more details, sorry if drip feeding.

There were break ups in the family before, Ex's siblings and FIL's sisters and MIL's brother.
They absolutely criticise the non-blood related family members, not even taking into consideration that they might have a different story to tell and they totally cut all ties and contacts and pretend they never existed. It is never the clan's member fault, their spouse is 100% guilty.
They go as far as cutting people's head off pictures or editing they out completely.
I guess they didn't do it to me because of DD. MIL's did it to her brother's ex wife and said all sorts of horrible things against her, but the kids were her nieces not her granddaughter, so maybe she is more lenient towards me.

Sounds like they do go by Blood is thicker then water OP. A card wouldn't of hurt at all, maybe your DD will bring some home with her though you never know. It is possible though that your ex could have 'laid down the law' and demanded that out of loyalty to him they don't- some people are like that.

I still say don't jump to conclusions, OP. Because my Ex-MIL is the same but we've still managed to maintain a relationship/friendship.