to wish just for once I could organise a really festive Christmas?

[TheHorseHasBolted]

It's just like every year. This afternoon I was rushing around buying last-minute food and stocking fillers, we haven't invited anyone round, I'm unlikely to have done all the washing up and vacuuming by the close of play tonight so we can start the day with a "clean slate".

I dream of garlands of greenery on the banisters, the scent of mulled wine and a house full of visitors. But I'm just not organised enough.

It's just the immediate family here on Christmas Day and always has been, we have no tradition of getting together with either set of parents (we see them at other times of year). So in a way I'm not letting anyone down, as this is exactly what they've all come to expect, but I'm letting my own imagination down by not somehow making it just like Christmas in a feelgood film/Dickensian novel.

This time next year DS1 could well have moved out, though I'd like to think he'll still come to see us over Christmas. Right now I'm thinking, "If I start planning now, could I surprise him with the best Christmas ever?" But can a leopard ever change its spots?

Your children will probably remember lovely laid back Christmases! They'll be complaining about they're DPs needing everything to be just so in a few years time and wanting to go back to their mums where they can open all their presents and be drunk by noon!!

But if you book your online delivery in October, it really helps. Mine came this morning with everything in it and no rushing round the shops.

Yes! I think it helps if you or your partner has some time off in the run up to Christmas - I was working until 6pm today so no chance of doing any last minute bits. It did all have to be quite planned in advance.

Could you write a list of the top things that you would want to get done next year? Once you know what you want to do it's easier to plan ahead.

But most of all don't let a messy house and lack of fancy flourishes ruin your Christmas - I'm sure your Christmas is absolutely lovely already :)

Thank you both, I feel a bit more positive now!

I'll try to think of it as a low-key, relaxing Christmas. There are enough threads here from people who probably wish they could have one of those. We are quite scruffy, laid-back people in general so the "perfect" Christmas of my imagination probably wouldn't even suit us that well, I'd just love to achieve it at least once!

Cassie, DH was working today (which doesn't happen every year) and you're right, that probably contributed to the rushed feel. I tend to do more of the domestic stuff because he works much longer hours than me, but in the run-up to Christmas, he is usually able to help a lot. It also meant we didn't get to go to a carol service we usually got to which always puts me in a festive mood.

sneepy, we don't usually have our shopping delivered, but I can see how it would be a huge help at this time of year! Definitely making a note of that for next time.

PS - I have done a load of washing up and hung up a load of washing in the interval between my two posts, I'm not just slacking right now, honest!

I could have written your OP! I just think I'm lacking that gene or something. DD is only 3 so I'm really excited about her opening her presents etc but as far as dinner goes I'll be doing a mad dash to the one shop that's open tomorrow I've just tidied clothes from the armchair and will stick a load in the dishwasher.

I really want to be that type of person! My dad rang to see what time he'd come over and I was just saying yeah whenever, we're easy! Then texting MIL I said "see you at some stage tomorrow" Other people have things planned with military precision!
I really want to be that type of person in general though but it never seems to work out.

I know a lot of people won't hear mention of Christmas in September, but I tend to do my gift shopping online from then on. I couldn't possibly have managed a physical shopping trip this month due to workload.

My house is a shithole most of the time as I work FT and we're both too busy with that and two young DCs to worry too much about it, but I've used Monday and Tuesday this week to clean up and now I feel good about it. I'm able to do so because I'm a teacher and on school hols.

Not really sure what almost grown up DCs would want from a Christmas, but I have always loved a board game!

Op I spent so much time this year making homemade hampers for friends, planning special foods cleaning etc that i could have spent with the kids.
All they want is to play princesses with me and have some chocolate. They couldn't care less about wreaths and so on.
Lesson learnt for next year. You are ahead of me

Make a plan, prioritise for next year. Visualise the features which make your 'perfect' Christmas, eg garlands of greenery. Maybe add one thing per year rather than try to take a huge leap from laid-back to 'perfect'? Start keeping magazine pictures, or use Pinterest. And yes, I think a full-on Christmas does have to be planned, though it may not be that obvious to outsiders.

Of course, the trick is to make it look full-on but without stressing so much that nobody can enjoy themselves

I may have planned the food prep and cooking using a spreadsheet, but I've given up on the greenery this year.

Mine has been better this year but I have:

Done lots of Christmassy things
Sung/played Carols
Been Merry and bright even when I don't feel that way
Decorated
Given to those in need
Drunk Mulled Wine

Just make em laugh OP You'll be fine