DD, her Dad his girlfriend and Christmas presents

[FFSletmechangemyname]

Ok so I don't know if I am being UR or not. I'll try and keep it short.

DD1 and is 12, I am not with her dad we broke up when she was a baby and am married to DH.
Ex has a girlfriend and they have a baby together and live together.

DH always takes her shopping and buys her presents for me for bday and Xmas, ex has never done this ( brought presents for me) .

I have DD2 and DS1 also.

So today it dawns on me she hasn't got a present for her dad so I text his girlfriend and ask if she on the off chance has brought him anything, she says no but can sort it. I say thanks.
She then asks if this is now her job as she did his bday, (I hadn't even realised). I say yes please if she doesn't mind and she has then got uppity saying she does but if she has to she will.


This then gets my back up and pisses me off because he's never done it for me, 2 he has never paid a penny towards her and DH has done all that.

I never said that obviously just said well if it's a problem I will get DD to do it as she is old enough now really.
But also he isn't really on my list of priorities so hadn't really thought about it until today and I get DD isn't her daughter so not her responsibility. However I had also thought she should have got something for her sister and I was hoping her dad would have sorted that.
I then get back but he only sees her 2 days every 2 weeks.

This is his choice and he can have her whenever he likes he only has to ask and I said as much but haven't heard anything else so far.

Before she came on the scene 2-3 yrs ago I did used to get him something small but haven't brought him anything for yrs and should have just kept my mouth shut really.


As not to drip feed I cannot go to CSA because he is self employed and says he isn't earning much but he earns loads just refuses to pay anything for her and I would never stop him seeing her for this reason.

So AIBU to have let this piss me off ? I get DD isn't her DD but surely she should be thought of as much as part of their family as she is ours and that factored in when buying presents.

[Tinks42]

If I were you OP I'd stop trying to make everyone better. It doesnt work.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

He should be paying maintenance for his daughter rather than having more children when he's not supporting the first one. Is this something that you're working on, OP?

You sound very, very reasonable actually... and kind. I can quite see why you're annoyed. Don't organise any more presents for him but do take it up with ex and his girlfriend that they have responsibilities to your daughter as she IS part of their family and should be included as such in celebrations, events, etc.