Brief background: STBXH and I separated over a year ago. He was EA and I continue to find him tricky to deal with post separation but I'm trying my best to be fair to everyone, particularly our two young DCs. He has become more difficult since I met my BF.
The problem: youngest DD has a Xmas eve birthday. We agreed early on that we would alternate Xmas but would allow the other to come over Xmas morning to watch the DC open their presents. We never came to an agreement over DD's Xmas eve birthday however.
This year it's his turn to have the DC Xmas day. He recently asked me if he could have the DC for a few hours on DD's birthday which I agreed to. However, he also asked if he could come in the morning to watch DD open her birthday presents. I agreed but warned him that my BF would be there but would likely be upstairs getting ready to go off to work (I don't live with my BF but he will be visiting overnight).
Immediately ex told me I was not to have him in the house whilst he is there. I countered by telling him that he does not get to dictate who I have in my home and he has two choices, either be an adult about it or he is not welcome in my home. He then told me that he would watch her open presents when he comes to collect them later that day (tea time).
I personally think it's unfair expecting a (just turned) 4 yo to wait this long to open her presents. With it being Xmas eve, I try and make the day as separate from Xmas as possible but I'm limited in what I can do. Part of this is doing the gift opening as far away from Xmas day as possible.
There are other things surrounding this that are colouring my view that he is being unreasonable about this so I would like to know what others think of his suggestion in isolation. TIA.