to be p'd off with my father

[TheFourthLobster]

"There should be no food banks, they are used by people who can't budget their money and any tom, dick and harry can turn up and use them. It's wrong that they are provided, they need to get out and start supporting their families because nobody in this country is that poor"

Clearly he's forgotten the times that his own two adult children have used a food bank whilst he relaxes in his luxury house.

What does he say when you point this out?

He gets all defensive and informs me that I don't know what I am talking about, same as when he goes off on one of his racist rants.

Do you not inform him that not everyone can just turn up and help themselves (my mum seemed to be under this impression too)?

Of course I do, but he is always right. I despair at his smug, holier than thou attitude.

Obviously i don't know you or your father but i find a lot of people make comments without fully thinking of what they say or really mean. If it was my father i would just let it go or just make a small comment like "i found it very useful in my hour of need" and leave it there.

Out of interest how do food banks decide who can use them?

Most you have to be referred to by a social worker or housing officer or GP or health visitor

Some however you can just turn up at and ask for help

My parents hold exactly the same views OP. My mother says that "the lowlifes" (her words" ) that use foodbanks should just learn to cook and make things like soup and stews

zukiecat yes, my father was making similar comments about lentil stews that last a family all week.

Bet he reads the daily mail....

I've heard these unkind comments before from people who know no better.
Our Women's Friendly Hour (I know, but we're living in the fifties here!) had a talk from a chap from the Trussell Trust. You need to be referred by ss or other agencies before you can have the food, and you can only have 3 visits.
You get a sort of ticket, and the bags are for 1,2,3 people etc. in the family.
The anonymous stories he told us were very sad indeed. People with literally nothing in their fridge/cupboards, parents going without for 2 days to give the children something to eat and so on. He said it was mostly delays in Benefits or sudden lack of work with bills to pay. People have to choose between being evicted, freezing or starving. Terrible. It is completely genuine on the part of the recipients. We contribute in our church to the Trussell Trust.

But in my view, even if a person has been feckless, silly, lazy or improvident, they still need to eat don't they? Hunger is immediate and has to be satisfied then and there.

YANBU, your dad sounds like Scrooge*, sorry!

(*As in, "Are there no workhouses?" etc)

You have to be referred to our local food bank, you can't just turn up. Sadly lots of people hold the same opinion, whilst sitting in their lovely warm houses. Incidently, lots of people in work have had to use food banks. Perhaps your dad favours the return of the workhouse?
Also he should be ashamed for not helping his two adult children out financially. Perhaps you should ask him what sort of father he is.
YANBU

Yes, he reads the daily mail because "the crosswords are good", he's quite snobby and quite a distant parent who we don't see very often because he doesn't approve of our choice of low paid, public service jobs - if we'd worked hard and got a proper job we'd have enough money. He's not wrong about how we'd have more money of course, just about the working hard and proper job comments.

Charming! One day it will be the lowly paid who will be caring for him in a care home. Karma

and the lowly paid who will be choosing (and paying for!) his nursing home.....

Yes, unfortunately you will be paying for it, a no win situation!