To be surprised no one has asked me!?

[blueboatinghat]

My dad died in the spring and so I have no surviving family apart from my brother.

Aibu to have thought someone would have asked if I was ok over Christmas? One friend did but she lives such a long way away ... I'm spending some of Christmas with another friend but I don't know, I'd have thought people like my godmother and family friends of my parents might have asked?

Or am I expecting too much?

I think you are expecting too much. Assuming you are an adult. If you are still v young (say under 20) then I would think it would be nice if someone asked you though

Jeez this is about the eighth thread that has contained references to 'waifs and strays' in that context. How christmassy

YANBU at all. I think people can be hopeless with grief and just push other people's pain out of their minds so they don't have to think about. Sorry for your loss.

YANBU. My DSis has a friend in similar circs - I had to read your OP twice to check it wasn't her. Her Dad and Mum died very close together five years ago and her DAunt, who was her legal guardian, died early this year. My heart breaks for her - she only has a much older brother left. We have invited her around for Christmas lunch three times but she can't stand to stay in the UK so has gone travelling instead.

People do assume that others will take over, but that doesn't mean they can't check.

My mum and brother both died within weeks of each other, very close to Christmas that year. Yes, lots of relatives asked about Xmas at the funerals, but other than that, the normal Xmas greetings was it.

Tbh, I didn't expect them to be any different. They all have their own children/grandchildren, their own problems, their own things to organise.

Yes, my dd on teetering on the brink of suicide at 10 years old, was self-harming. I could have picked up the phone and rung any of my relatives and asked for help and help would have been forthcoming, in spades. I didn't. Why? Because I was so distressed myself that it didn't even occur to me.

So phone your relatives yourself. Say it would be nice to see them. They'll probably be happy to hear from you and to see you. But frankly, your bereavement is not as important to them as it is to you, and it happened a while ago. You have to tell them what you need.

I also agree that many have become selfish in society - this is the umpteenth thread I've read describing selfish behaviour at Christmas time. Makes me very :(

How are you doing Blueboatinghat ?