AIBU to be miffed at selfish person stealing my blue badge space?

[YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually]

Long sorry but I'm getting it off my chest! This afternoon I went to our small local naice supermarket. I am disabled and have severe chronic pain so walking is difficult. I always try and use a blue badge space (I have a badge) for the width as it makes it easier to get out of the car with crutches or sticks if I'm not using my chair, and they are nearer.

The car park was hammered. The blue badge space is a separate area at end of car park close to doors. I saw a person loading their bags into car to the right hand side in a BB space so smiled at them and pulled up on the left with my indicator on, allowing enough room for them to pull out of the space. They took a few minutes, which I understand as I am slow too. Whilst I was waiting a car pulled in front and stopped. The driver caught my eye in the rear view so I did that sort of "I'm waiting for this space" gesture but they didn't move, however driver put a BB on Dashboard and an elderly lady got out of passenger seat and went into store so I assumed driver was just waiting for her there. You've guessed it, the car in BB space pulled out and as I had to wait for them, the car in front reversed in! When the driver got out, I wound down my window and politely said "excuse me but I was waiting for this space" to which she replied "well sorry I didn't see you and I've dropped my mother off now" and just started to walk off. This did anger me so I confess I said "You did see me. Well aren't you selfish". She then came to my window and said "well I just thought you were parked illegally" so I said "you did see me, I was indicating and you knew I was waiting". To which she said "look it's very busy and my mother is in the store so I'm sorry, but what do you want me to do, move the car". By this time I could see people looking at us so I just "oh just forget it" and reversed off. As I was driving out a space came free at the end of a row so I parked there in order to get my sticks out easily. It was at the other end though so it did hurt to shuffle the extra distance.

I hate confrontation so wouldn't normally have called to her but I really needed the space and I WAS THERE FIRST

That was not only rude but incredibly mean of her.

Badge not hedge! Bloody autocorrect

Soon I disagree. You cannot use a Blue Badge to park in a disabled space unless the disabled person is actually in the car.

I don't think she should necessarily have gone off to a non-disabled space. I regularly take my disabled mother to the shops and have had to drop her off if we can't find a space that is sufficiently close - she has a blue badge. However, it's not that easy when it comes to picking her up. I have to leave her while I fetch the car, and by that time she'll be tired and won't want to stand waiting, especially if it's cold or wet, plus she starts worrying if I don't get back quickly for any reason. Then it's a bit of a performance getting her into the car, and if I haven't been able to draw in to the side somewhere - which often happens - then we're going to obstruct a load of other drivers. She's usually OK to walk a few extra steps to the disabled spaces, however.

However, I agree that if it was clear that you were there first then clearly she shouldn't have taken that space.

Tinkly yes you can if you are dropping off waiting outside for them. I am a blue badge user , it's in my information booklet.

Hi OP, I am sorry this happened to you and I can see why you are upset. We regularly have problems like this with non-blue badge holders taking disabled spaces, I complain every time this happens when we have disabled DS with us but nothing is done.

There is also a lot of abuse of blue badges such as non-disabled family members/friends 'borrowing' them for easy parking, I don't really know what the answer is to this.

Was the supermarket Waitrose by any chance? I have posted elsewhere about one of the problems we face shopping there (not this one as it happens - though might just as well have been).

I completely get what you say ohtheholidays about other people's attitudes being a worse problem than the disability itself. I have had a hard time from some posters which sort of mirrors the grief we face in real life, it is ime only a minority of people with bad attitudes but unfortunately enough of them to make life very difficult for the disabled.

Tinkly, you certainly can use a blue badge to park without the owner being in the car if you're picking them up. How would people picking up, say disabled people from hospital manage otherwise? See www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/206022/blue-badge-rights-responsibilities.pdf:

"The badge is for your use and benefit only. It must only be displayed if you are travelling in the vehicle as a driver or passenger, or if someone is collecting you or dropping you off and needs to park at the place where you are being collected or dropped."

Is it Waitrose? They've just introduced click and collect at my store now and there's a bay out the front of the shop just for people going in to collect pre-ordered stuff, is there one at your store you could use for when you go back for your turkey?

YANBU at all btw.

I think the badge is a bit of a red herring in this story - You were there first and waiting for the space, badge or not she shouldn't have pinched your space and you were not in any way unreasonable to point it out to her.

I'm afraid the moral of the story is some people are arseholes and sadly the rest of us can't do much about it but moan (and day dream about scratching their cars)

Well, you already know YANBU but I'm happy to add another YANBU to the list.

I'm glad you said something to her. I think your response was spot on. There is no point getting into a huge shouting match but it was good that you made it clear that you knew she knew you were waiting.

I've had someone do exactly the same thing (No BBs involved though) and it's maddening

Thanks for replies, it was Waitrose!

I know she still would have been a twat if she nicked my none BB space too, but she's even more of a twat as the none BB space I got was at the other end of the car park. Twat.

Agreed that the blue badge is neither here nor there as you were both using one perfectly legally.

She nicked your space though and is, therefore, a massive cow.

Difficult one as if the lady had blue badge in the car then she was also entitled to use the space. Obviously a compromise would have been ideal but she may not have known your difficulty

Tron - how was she entitled to the space? the op was there first!!

EURGH blue badge dramas. YANBU at all, you were there first. It's your space.

I hate using my blue badge, because I'm quite young and my disabilities are generally hidden, I'm often awarded filthy looks off everyone who decides that suddenly they're the blue badge police and can asses with a quick glance whether I'm worthy or faking. I just think to myself, trust me love, I'd rather struggle to park than live with my disabilities!

DH just slams on his gas so that if they continue to reverse/drive in they'll hit us. Then we just wait them out until they find a new spot. Never had any real aggression other than the man slamming on his horn. But these are normal spaces and no one has any real reason to need them other than "I want it". Now that we have DD we just live and let live, as we're not willing to play chicken or risk a fight with a baby in the car. A little extra walk won't hurt us any.

If someone is driving a disabled person and they're not disabled themselves they should drive when they're done to pick the person back up. Me and DH did this when I was pregnant so I didn't have to walk as far, not that pregnancy is a disability. You can have the disabled person check out and pay while you get the car so there's no waiting, it's not that hard. That said, I have aggressively blocked people from the last store scooter so MIL could have it while she slowly hobbled up to it. No regrets on that, I was there first in her stead.

Nicking spaces is a dick move no matter what the situation, and you were waiting patiently.

But I can perhaps see where she's coming from if her mother needed the spot. I still think she should have picked her mother back up instead of nicking a space.

Don't be afraid of going back. Parking lots are busy this time of year, the spaces could legit be filled before you even arrive. Can you have someone ride with you, like DC perhaps, just in case so they can run in while you wait in the car for them? Can you worst case scenario park on the curb in front real quick while you grab the turkey?

yanbu as the driver was a knob. his mum had a BB and can use a BB bay, but he was wrong to nick your space.

The other driver was entitled to use the space. If she had been there first she shouldn't be expected to move because (in some peoples opinions) she needed it less. What she did wrong was taking the space when there was someone already waiting for it.

Both drivers allowed to use space. Everyone is right re only allowed to use badge holder is with driver...she was. However op at space first therefore space is hers. End of story. Other driver was being a xmas meanie!