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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To return/sell my "D"H Christmas gifts?

47 replies

ChristineWrapping · 21/12/2014 16:41

I have bought him Harry Potter DVD set as we are going to HP World in January and a personalised number plate.

He turned over to HP film 1 a few nights ago and I said ooh let's watch something different as nearly Christmas. He walked out in a huff. Then 2 nights ago he started watching HP2 and I said don't watch this Christmas is only a few days away. He then said what on earth is your problem with me watching HP I'm a grown man. I said ok no prob I had brought it for you as a Christmas gift but don't worry about it nothing major.

Then yesterday evening he went to get something from my car and I said I'll go no snooping in my car at this time of year. This morning I caught him rummaging in the boot of my car and he had his number plates in his hands. I then said for crying out loud can't I keep anything as a surprise for you. He stormed off.

IANBU to not give him his gifts am I?

OP posts:

ArthurSHappeyChristmas · 21/12/2014 17:14

I too have just seen the update. Why doesn't he buy you anything?

Tinks42 · 21/12/2014 17:14

Im the one that can't wait for things and get a bit tiddly towards christmas with various friends, come home and practically "make" my son open a present or two then have to dash out and buy more

Original poster

ChristineWrapping · 21/12/2014 17:15

But other than a Christmas gift what else would he expect to find if I'm saying no snooping at this time of year?

OP posts:

Tinks42 · 21/12/2014 17:16

errr, this is turning into a "relationships thread"

Original poster

ChristineWrapping · 21/12/2014 17:19

He says he can't see the point if I want something myself I can buy it through the year and he never goes shopping. I've tried to explain its the giving/receiving of gift that is important not the gift. But it's a concept he just doesn't get and this year he doesn't seem to understand the receiving either whereas in previous years it's the giving only part!

OP posts:

Tinks42 · 21/12/2014 17:20

He sounds like a charmer.

MooMaid · 21/12/2014 17:20

Ah well I wouldn't bother in future years. You don't give to receive, and all that jazz, but it's still nice to surprise people and be a bit considerate.

Just give him the stuff on Christmas day and be done with it - up to him how he reacts after that

ArthurSHappeyChristmas · 21/12/2014 17:28

Then stuff him. Why the hell are you buying for him?

So inconsiderate of him to not buy you a gift. But yourself something fabulous and don't bother buying him in future.

Bulbasaur · 21/12/2014 17:33

But it's a concept he just doesn't get and this year he doesn't seem to understand the receiving either whereas in previous years it's the giving only part!

There's a huge difference between not understanding and refusing to give a shit. He just doesn't care enough about you to think it's worth putting out the effort.

If DH got me nothing for Christmas and we didn't agree to it before hand due to finances, I'd be pissed off.

Tinks42 · 21/12/2014 17:37

I really want to say to you now that don't give him anything. Return the "personalised" number plate, which arent cheap, and yes! go get yourself something lovely instead. Also I'd a have a new year "think" about him too.

EhricJinglingHisBallsOnHigh · 21/12/2014 17:52

Don't bother getting him anything in future.

teawamutu · 21/12/2014 18:58

Would the same charming theory apply if you didn't get him anything?

He sounds like a tool. Sorry.

LittleDonkeyLeftie · 21/12/2014 19:06

I don't understand why you bought this wanker anything.

LindyHemming · 21/12/2014 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oppugno · 21/12/2014 19:13

Elizabeth why on earth would an adult not want the Harry Potter boxset, I've got it because I love the films. I fail to see the problem with the gift.

OP I think that you and your DH need to talk it out rather than him storming off in a huff, ask him why he gets gifts and you get nothing.

MillionToOneChances · 21/12/2014 19:16

Next time don't buy him anything if he doesn't bother buying you anything. Buy yourself a lovely gift, wrap it beautifully and put it under the tree nice and early so he has due warning to do the same for himself if he wants anything.

GatoradeMeBitch · 21/12/2014 19:33

Take his presents back and spend the money on getting something nice for you! Or give your budget to a good friend and ask her to pick some things out and wrap them so you'll have surprises. There is NO incentive for your DP to buy you anything if you keep buying for him. It obviously bothers you, so do something about it!

HeraldAngelSinging · 21/12/2014 19:38

As a surprise, get him a packet of donkey 'poo' from a local farm shop.

Nanny0gg · 21/12/2014 20:50

So why do you buy him anything?

Presents clearly matter to him as he snoops. Why doesn't he think they matter to you?

WrappedInABlankie · 21/12/2014 21:00

Why don't you put the plates on your car and give him nothing?

Just pretend they were for you all along. Give the DVD's to the children

Inertia · 21/12/2014 21:48

What was his excuse for snooping in your car?

The films I can understand, but I don't understand how he could justify rummaging in your car when you'd specifically asked him not to.

As he doesn't believe in giving presents, and is doing his damnedest to be a begrudging recipient, I'd follow his lead- give the DVDs to the children, return the plates, and buy yourself a present.

kinkyfuckery · 21/12/2014 21:58

If he hasn't seen the films before, why was he going to watch HP2? Obviously not all that fussed about the movies? You totally made that into a drama it didn't need to be.
But yeah, he shouldn't have been snooping in your car, though you sort of talked him into it if he's a naturally inquisitive person.

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