wibu to complain to sainsburys?

[Smoolett]

I feel like I may have potentially cost someone their job and feel shit.
Me and my dd 10 months pop in to sainsburys fairly regularly. There is a woman who works on the tills who has been pretty over familiar with her the last few times we've been in ie tickling her and touching her. I'm sure there is nothing sinister or untoward but today she was trying to get a cuddle.
When I got home I sent a carefully worded email but I'm so worried now that this lady will get in trouble when I just don't want to be put on this position again.
Wibu?

[Number11]

Hands up all those posters who REMEMBER being touched or cuddled by a stranger when they were 10 months old?

Now hands up all those who remember being touched or cuddled by a stranger when they were 10 months old AND who learned the lesson at that age that it's not ok to be touched or cuddled 'when you don't want it or don't know the person'?

Anyone?

I'm sorry you had to fend off someone trying to take your DD while buying a bottle of milk Smoolett but you didn't mention attempted abduction in your OP. I do hope it doesn't happen TOO often.

[DontWorrryBaldrickHasACunningP]

I'm asking why you think it's pathetic?

If you personally are happy for strangers to interact with your child that way fair enough your choice.

However I don't think it's precious or pathetic to say that on the whole it's not really on to just assume it's ok to touch a baby you don't know.

[CatsCantTwerk]

Tinks42 I am presuming you have had a christmas tipple as you are making no sense. I have no need to 'get over myself' and I am no 'precious kitten'.

What you said was offensive, Just because someone is friendly does not make them 'special needs'

[SoleSource]

YAB scary and U OP

[26Point2Miles]

So it's happened TWICE op??

Customers like you make working in retail miserable! Someone somewhere will be having a good laugh at your expense

[HeraldAngelSinging]

What is the world coming to? Why can't we touch the hands of a baby whom we think is so pretty / cute / engaging / smiling and who is 'inviting' an interaction?

Are we no longer allowed to 'wave' at a baby waving to us or to talk
to a baby who talks to us?

Do we have to ignore all children who smile at us / hold up a hand for us to touch / ask us a question....?

[Fairyfellowsmasterstroke]

Well OP - lets hope you haven't totally ruined a poor women's Christmas by your complaint.

Next time be honest with the person concerned rather than being a viper behind her (innocent and big hearted) back.

[SpringBreaker]

It's fine to teach your children not to speak to strangers when you aren't there. but if you are present then what is the problem?

[SausagesMightFlyWithTheXmasPud]

I can't believe you have complained! Poor woman.

[Tinks42]

I was just asking due to hoping the OP wasnt being precious and saying again and again that this person kept touching her baby, whether the person doing this was classed as "special needs" thats all. Get over yourselves here.

[AngelCauliflower]

I agree with the op about it not being appropriate for the lady at Sainsburys to be touching her child. My ds is 6 and in the 6 years of taking him into shops I don't think he has ever been touched by the shop staff.

Customers and people in the street often unexpectedly touch my ds and sometime I do find it incredibly awkward asking them not to do it. Ds has sensory processing disorder and a light unexpected touch can feel very painful to him. I don't like being touched by people either.

[pinkr]

I was in Tesco recently and the till operator remarked to her colleague about how gorgeous dd was and how she always wanted to have a wee cuddle but of course they weren't allowed etc. I promptly handed dd over and they made the most lovely fuss of her whilst I packed my bags.
I have also handed her over to grannies in cafes etc without hesitating. Honestly it makes some people's day and gives them a smile. Stop being cruel.

[WendyBloomers]

I really hope whoever deals with the email doesn't take it too seriously and ruin that ladies Christmas...

It's fine if you feel you don't want this lady touching your child but it's completely unfair to put in a complaint rather than politely ask her not to do so.

[pinkr]

Oh and dd has no separation anxiety issues and is happy and independent precisely because I've always been happy to let other people interact with her

[Azquilith]

It makes me feel better that some people have so little to worry about that this bothers them. Kind of reassuring about the world.

[Purplepoodle]

Omg what a horrible thing to do to a lady who was being friendly at Christmas. Email - so passive aggressive. All you had to do was open your mouth and ask her not to touch your dd as it makes you uncomfortable (with a smile to take any sting out). Completely yabu with the way you handled it.

[DisneyDivaWoo]

I don't blame you Op. It freaks me out how many people are ok with strangers wanting to touch, tickle, cuddle babies that aren't theirs. I find it weird when people give my DD money or feel the need to touch my bump. I wouldn't randomly stroke someone's belly. I wouldn't randomly give a toddler a cuddle etc.

Creeps me right out.

[CombineBananaFister]

Am a bit at the level of anger the Op is receiving tbh. While I actually think she was BU, I don't think it's worthy of such a 'new arsehole ripping', jeez.

You might not agree with her parental principles re:touchy feely people but they are her principles and she is entitled to them -everyone has their own boundaries about what they like regarding their children. And okay, she did the email thing instead of a quiet word but it's not like she dragged her down the aisle by her hair, shouting 'leave my baby alone, you abusing bitch, you !!'
I would think the lady was lovely and helpful but I don't think my employer would - it definately would be frownd upon to be fussing over a baby whilst working simply because they are brutal and would be worried they're not getting enough 'work' out of me

Crikey, I would not like to meet some of you guys down a dark alley

[GraysAnalogy]

No wonder we live in a society in which people are scared to do all sorts of bloody NORMAL things.

[Cherrychocolate]

I think you over reacted tbh. Not very nice to complain about her. You should have just asked her to stop if you felt she was being OTT. If I really felt someone was being inappropriate with my child, they wouldn't have the chance to continue, I would stop them there and then.

You did a cowardly thing, you said you were sure it was nothing sinister, but you got her into trouble anyway. Poor lady could lose her job, and not only that but will feel really embarrassed about this.

Not a nice thing to do op, especially at Christmas YABVU.

[26Point2Miles]

You can't exactly do much when working on the self service tills.... You can't move away, it's boring. Poor woman

This thread is depressing

[MyBaby1day]

Well it was a woman that's all, nothing wrong with her wanting to hug a baby, I wouldn't have worried, not about a woman. You really over-reacted OP!. Hope she doesn't lose her job, if she does, you only have yourself to blame.

[Camolips]

Sad post. A baby brings a lot of pleasure to humans, society interacts more and we bridge the gap that normally prevents us from talking to strangers. A few seconds with a baby can brighten someone's day. Luckily ime mothers love sharing their gorgeous babies with strangers, I know I did!

[springbabydays]

I find it so sad when people try to snuff out friendliness, when there's such a lack of it around these days.

That said, your baby your rules. But sending an email was the wrong thing to do. There is a time and place for emails and this wasn't it.

I'd be interested to know what response you get to your email OP?

[EstRusMum]

I don't think YABU. It's unacceptable to touch other people whether they are babies or adults. If someone will try that with my baby, I will be very very very rude to them.
Other posters should think about things like "how do I know she is washing her hands after using the loo?" or "does she have any illnesses that might be dangerous to my child?" You cannot guarantee that this person is as clean as you are and even just touching the baby's hand once can give her worms or other unwanted bugs.
About email - I understand that too. I WILL sound rude if have to confront someone. Whether gently or not. So if I wouldn't want to actually be rude in the middle of the shop, I would email too. Don't worry, you've done nothing wrong. She needs to learn her boundaries.