To wonder if I am a complete mug to stay friends with this person

[SharonBu]

I have an old friend who has recently come back into my life.

She is a single parent and isn't working so I try and help out with lifts and money here and there. I lent her money to buy a plane ticket last summer and she is paying me back in installments. She is great fun to be with and she does say she appreciates me and calls me her 'rock' but lately I am being forgotten which obviously makes me feel rejected.

I have asked for help with sewing something for Christmas, which she is great at, but haven't been able to get her to agree to meet up. She says she isn't good at 'arrangements' and is better at being spontaneous. Spontaneous is difficult for me because I have to work and have only a little spare time. Also that's not really my personality anyway! She knows I have Fridays off and we sometimes agree to meet then but it feels like if something better comes along she will conveniently forget we agreed to meet. I spoke to her yesterday and she said she would be at the cafe this morning to help me out but didn't show. Then I see on facebook she's been shopping with another friend and must have forgot we agreed to meet. She's already put me off twice and I have got help elsewhere in the end.

This might seem small but it's not the first time she's done it. I have been invited over to her house and she's been out or asleep so I just head home again having wasted a precious hour driving over!

I help her out but when I need help it's not a priority for her at all. She has been through a big traumatic divorce and is on pain medication so perhaps she is not herself. Maybe she needs more time. AIBU to ask for a bit more consideration??

I had a friend like this, the end came for me when I had 2 under 2, dealing with depression and I lived in the middle of nowhere, had recently had a seizure and wasn't allowed to drive so was cut off from the world.
I was so excited my friend was coming over, I spent ages tidying the house, even found the energy to bake a cake and bang on the dot of when he said she would be over I received a text from her saying 'sorry something came up' I was devistated, literally burst into tears sobbed my heart out, it was literally the highlight of my month, and my 18month old daughter comforted me. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but definitely came at the worse possible time. :( later on Facebook discovered she had gone out with another friend instead.
A few weeks later and she said 'oh we really need to catch up' I responded jokingly with something like 'oh yes, that be great, let's make sure it actually happens next time!' She was 'outraged' and 'personally offended'. I've never really seen her since.
It hurts to cut yourself off, but the continued disappointment hurts more.

NewNamefor2015

That's horrible.

yup, she's a user although probably feels a tiny bit bad about it.

i wouldn't be too quick to respond in future.

Letting her off December has sent a message that you aren't in need of cash. Even if you're not, she now knows you are a soft touch.
Definitely text her mid jan and ask for your money. I wouldn't start a row, just carry on and wait til your more loan has been repaid and then re evaluate the friendship. If she's always broke then just meet for a walk, not a free coffee:)

NewName that's terrible. Hope you are feeling better. xx I must admit I did also cry when I got home from the cafe having been 'stood up'. It's a real knock to the self esteem when someone does something selfish like that and I feel for you having gone through it.