to think im never going to free from anxiety.

[lemisscared]

Its been with me for years and im tired. I can't face another year of failure because im too nervous to even go on a job search website.

If i can keep myself busy im not too bad but am sahm of school age dd.

Sometimes i help dp but today has mistly been about feeling that horrible feeling in thd pit of my stomach.

No phone as we haven't paid the bill. I can't ring dp to find out when he'll be home . He said hed be home for lunch he didn't come. Neither did he call. I am beside myself with nerves.

Im on medication. It doesn't work. Ive had counselling. Doesn't work.

I don't want this to be my life

Hi lem, sorry you are having such a horrible time, but things can improve dramatically.

I second what other folks have said. I think you need to go back to your GP (and keep going back) until the meds and dose have an effect. Citalopram at 20mg is the lowest dose and just a starting point. You need to continue having this upped every 3 weeks ish until it is at the right level for you. I think the highest you can go on citalopram is 80mg, so you can see how low on the scale you are.

By the way there is no shame or failure going onto a higher dose, it is just whatever dose works with your brain chemicals. You need to feedback and communicate with your doctor on this.

And if citalopram still doesn't work at a higher dose, ask to try a different medication.

I believe that it is necessary to get the medication sorted before you can really start looking at coping strategies such as CBT and mindfulness, so your brain is calm enough to think about such things.

My GP can refer patients to a telephone based CBT course, maybe ask yours if they have access to similar when you are feeling a bit better?

Hugs to you

Pumpkins, i feel like i just neec to get through christmas, although that in itself is causing me anxiety :( I don't want a change of meds over christmas period as i feel i need DD to be back at school as it is bound to be rough while i change over.

Appointments are as rare as rocking horse shit and to get one with my own dr is virtually impossible.

I keep thinking about getting up and doing something, but i can't move from my chair :( my poor dd is entertaining herself, poor thing

Oh lem, just seen your update, I'm not sure you will be able to get out of 'crisis' mode yourself until you have been to GP and got your meds right. Go before christmas! You don't really need to research this yourself. Just turn up and tell them how you are feeling and that what you are currently on is having no effect, you want to up the dose. They should take it from there.

By the way a change over will not be rough, it will be managed so you are not left 'with nothing'. (You are on as good as nothing at the moment anyway, as it is not working for you).

Anyway, I would really expect them to up the dose a few times before declaring citalopram is not working and trying a different medication.

Hi lem sorry to hear you're feeling so rough. I really think you should see GP. I know you say appointments are rare but you can ask for an emergency appointment. Sometimes the receptionist asks what's wrong but everytime I've said severe depression / anxiety they've asked me to come in straight away. If you can, take a print out of this thread or your DP as it's often difficult to remember all at the actual appointment.

I agree with pebble that the changeover won't be too bad. 20mg of citalopram is as good as nothing at the moment so I can't see an increase / changeover making things worse.

I am a fellow sufferer of severe anxiety. I also have ptsd. Its horrible. cbt with the right therapist is life changing. I will never be rid of it but it can be reduced. I also forced myself to mix more etc and have some lovely new friends. I also have applied for a new career and have an interview soon. I am scared as been a sahm for 15 years! Good luck and you can get better xx

Hi, I had severe anxiety for years and found psychotherapy really helped... Counselors didn't scratch the surface.

You can feel better, I was in a really bad way and am 95% ok now. X

Good luck jellybeans with the interview! It sounds exciting after so long as a sahm :)

Another vote for Propranalol, I've had anxiety attacks for nearly 20 years to the point I developed agoraphobia. The more you push yourself to do something the easier it gets, the meds stopped me having a full blown attack and that was enough to allow me to focus on things around me rather than how I was feeling.

The best thing I ever read about anxiety was that we look inwards instead of at what's going on around us. Constantly focussing on how we feel rather than what's going on around us. Definitely worth going back to your GP, I haven't had an attack for 5 years now so it can be beaten. Good luck, I hope you start to feel stronger soon. It's exhausting constantly battling anxiety.

Propranolol is so good I get irrationally irritated when doctors prescribe anti ds for anxiety.

1. Propranolol is an as and when drug. It works within about 10 minutes so you can function normally. None of this waiting for it to kick in over time.

1. Drs start you off on a stupidly low dose that has to be tweaked in time with anti ds.

It's an old drug but it works on the vast majority.. asthma aside.

I'm not on propanolol, but I take its sister drug atenolol and can't recommend it highly enough. I resisted meds for thirty years apart from a brief spell on prozac,which was rubbish. Within twenty minutes of taking the first pill I was better, from a hysterical panic state which made me feel suicidal to a calm place I have never been in before. It just switched off the anxiety. Please do yourself a favour, and give your daughter a present- ring the go or visit a walk in centre and get a prescription. They just need to check your BP, and it won't take long to issue the bit of paper. You need something, if your daughter was this I'll wouldnt you want her at the drs ASAP? Look after yourself.

Go=go
I'll=ill

GP for gods sake!!

I first took propanolol for my driving test. I failed but I was so calm with them I wasn't really too bothered. My instructor admitted next time he saw me that I was so casual he thought i was on weed or something!

I'd definitely recommend them though. As gamer said, it works within about 10 minutes :)

Thank you FaithLoveandGrace :)

Hi
I too know exactly how you feel! I've been there got the t shirt as they say.

I suffered anxiety/panic and when really bad turned into depression since I was 28 on and off now 57 so as they say a lot of experience!

My first ad was citalopram I got to 40mg you can go to 60mg it's the cheapest 1st ad doctors put you on.

Whilst your anxiety is high at the mo, why don't you use your diazepam to bring it down? What mg is your diazepam?
If it's 2mg that's not high by any means, if you find it spaces you out cut it in half they really work at lowering anxiety. How long have you been on 20mg?

I used to be med phobic scared stiff of what they will do to me, and not being in control of myself.

Personally I think your doctor will put you up to 40mg, as they start you on a low dose first just to see how you go on.
So you could up yourself up to 40mg or even try 30mg one and a half tablets.

I really know how you feel,it's the worse feeling ever!! How your body can feel these feelings is truly frightening at its worse.

Take the diazepam it will help

God as I'm reading this it's as if I wrote it, I feel for you I really do.

Please go back to your doctor as soon as you can. And reading this has made me realise that I probably need to do exactly the same. A huge bout of SAD always makes my anxiety peak this time of year.

Citalopram does nothing. Especially such a low dose. It's more to treat depression than anxiety...