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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to get a baby on board badge

52 replies

ghostspirit · 19/12/2014 16:18

As above would it BU to get a baby on board badge. sometimes im happy to stand other times could really do with a seat. do people even take notice of them. im not really sure what i think of them.

OP posts:

HadleyHemingway · 19/12/2014 21:31

I work in central London and I always got a seat when I was wearing mine. I found commuters on my route to be very considerate and nice.

Original poster

ghostspirit · 19/12/2014 22:47

im not really sure im comfortable asking to sit where the priority seats are. as alot of eldely people use them. and i think they need the seat more than i would. plus pregnant woman can sit anywhere.

OP posts:

AlpacaLypse · 19/12/2014 22:57

I only travelled once on public transport while obviously pregnant (I live out in the sticks where the buses no longer run, let alone the trains...) and I was mortified that the only person who offered me a seat on the Tube was a frail old lady very clearly in far greater need of sitting down than me! That was however 16 years ago.

I still only very rarely make it back up to Town, but having a Baby On Board badge scheme strikes me as a very sensible idea. It's awfully embarrising if you aren't certain if someone is a bit post-baby lumpy, a bit overweight, or expecting one. And I felt far more shitty in the first few months before my bumps showed than I did later on.

divingoffthebalcony · 19/12/2014 23:22

But when you're travelling at rush hour ghost, particularly if you have something like SPD and walking is a bit of a struggle, being in the priority seat is essential because you're near the doors. Then you don't have to jostle and fight to get you and your bump safely off the train before the doors close again.

And I've never been in a situation where there are more elderly people AND pregnant women in a carriage than there are priority seats. So ask for the darn priority seat, because YOU'RE ALLOWED

Original poster

ghostspirit · 19/12/2014 23:54

is spd the hip/back probs i have that. some days are worse than others. it makes me walk strange and cant always stand right. i can only descibe is as walking like an old lady :/

i don't really use trains just buses. so im only ever a few seats from the doors really. on way to work im ok. on way back its pretty busy. often end up standing. which not the end of the world. but i do feel very uncomfortable when the bus is packed and theres pushing/shoving going on to get on/of the bus. sort of feel vulnerable but don't know why.

OP posts:

divingoffthebalcony · 20/12/2014 00:28

Oh absolutely. I've never felt more vulnerable than being pregnant on London transport. Once, a man shot out onto the platform, sprinting to make a train, and missed knocking me over by inches. I hated it. Standing on buses was a problem too, as my joints were so wobbly I actually found it difficult (not to mention painful) to keep my centre of balance going around corners, etc.

SorchaN · 20/12/2014 00:29

I would notice a badge more easily than I'd notice a bump (I'm fairly unobservant about people's body shapes), and I'd always give up my seat to someone who needed it. I definitely appreciated being offered a seat when I was pregnant. YANBU!

forago · 20/12/2014 00:37

I think they're fine - no ambiguity for when you're not massive or still carrying some pregnancy weight - so statistically I reckon you'll get offered a seat more overall wearing one than without. Its mortifying offering someone a seat when they're not actually pregnant.

Welshwabbit · 20/12/2014 00:39

By all means get one, although I'm not sure how much difference it will make. I'd be interested to hear! I've never used one (now 38 weeks with my 2nd) as I've been lucky with my pregnancies and fine to stand. I was a bit a couple of weeks ago, though, when I was standing directly in front of two women in the priority seats, bump two feet out in front of me (okay maybe slight exaggeration) who spent the entire journey from Victoria to Paddington moaning about how inconvenient it was that the Bakerloo line was shut, both frequently looking in my direction. Offer of a seat came there none.

FoulsomeAndMaggotwise · 20/12/2014 01:52

I didn't like them before I got pregnant - I just thought they were like big badges saying "well done me! I'm fertile!" But actually, I was never offered a seat (commuted through London every day) and due to low blood pressure and SPD and sickness, I really needed one. I'm a covert. The badges are great, get one.

mrsfuzzy · 20/12/2014 02:07

never had these gear badges when i had my dc but if l got on a bus and there were no seats and everyone was ignoring me heavily pregnant, i was cheeky and would say "may i have a seat please, no? o.k then can i sit on your bag lap ?" it's funny how quick bags were moved or someone would stand up so not to cause a scene, and yes i was always polite ! workrd a treat.

Andrewofgg · 20/12/2014 06:38

PP If you are standing and someone has a bag on a seat you can say Could you move your bag, please, I'm going to sit there regardless of age, gender, or pregnancy, unless perhaps the bag-owner is pg or visibly disabled. Seats are for bums, not bags!

Whatdoiknowanyway · 20/12/2014 06:39

I think as well now these badges are mainstream if a pregnant woman doesn't wear one then I often assume she's chosen not to and is happy to stand. I'll still offer if I notice she's pregnant but is so much easier to scan new passengers for little white badges than to scrutinise their body shapes.

Mehitabel6 · 20/12/2014 07:29

I think it is a good idea - otherwise you don't know if someone is just fat sometimes.

ThomasMaraJrsSubpoena · 20/12/2014 07:36

YANBU, but rotsa ruck. I had:

bump
badge
crutches

And the number of fellow commuters who spotted none of the above because they were "sleeping" was just hilarious.

Hope YMMV.

And congratulations!

TinyTear · 20/12/2014 07:36

I love mine. I usually give one stop for people to notice and then ask the men in business suits playing candy crush on the priority seats

HicDraconis · 20/12/2014 07:37

I was on a crowded tube yesterday having just finished a 33h journey (NZ to UK flight) carrying my sleeping 6 year old. And I still didn't get offered a seat. When I asked someone if I could sit down, I got told "wait for someone to get off like everyone else has to."

If the badge helps in allowing you to get a seat, get one!

Cheby · 20/12/2014 07:44

YANBU, get one. I was heavily pregnant over winter, the season of big coats, and I'm big anyway so I suspect without the badge a lot of people would have been silently panicking over the fat or pregnant question!

I got offered seats about 90% of the time (I commuted into central London daily on buses, tubes and trains). There were a few times I wasn't offered one, and on almost all of those another passenger jumped in and asked people to give up a seat for me, before I had a chance to. I found London commuters overwhelmingly accommodating and courteous. Sorry that others haven't had that experience.

Camsie30 · 20/12/2014 08:55

I did my last tube journey with my badge yesterday, am 36 weeks. I take my dog to work with my every day and needed a second badge which said:

"Yes, I know my dog is NOT a baby"

I did get some pretty funny looks, especially before I was really showing!!

stuckinaswamp · 20/12/2014 09:01

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Pramula · 20/12/2014 09:15

Use the badge and hover by the seats 'for those less able to stand' it works. Otherwise if not working then ask for the seat. It is there for you!

If you don't feel worthy enough to ask on your own behalf (I sometimes didn't) please do it anyway because you will be helping the next pregnant woman/person less able to stand by making the person who didn't need that seat think a bit harder next time.

I found a whole new lovely side of public transport once I had my badge on and was generally really pleasantly surprised. Ditto travelling with a buggy (always making sure outside of peak times)
Good luck OP

Justyouwaitandsee · 20/12/2014 09:17

I am now 21 weeks pregnant with a very large bump and commute daily through central London. I have worn my badge since the very early days as I really suffered with sickness and dizziness. I am normally quite confident but surprisingly feel quite awkward asking for a seat (I often used to ask for others) particularly when I am feeling sick or exhausted. I think the badge is useful but it is amazing how many people choose to ignore - esp middle aged white english men. I find most offers come from other young females (20s/30s) followed by foreign men (whether young professionals, older men, tourists or even young teens). I would say I only get a seat 60-70% of the time.

As a commuter I definitely like how they remove the ambiguity and I am always wary of offering a seat if someone doesn't have a badge.

You can get them just by asking at the ticket counter too!

TinyTear · 20/12/2014 09:24

Teenage boys are surprisingly good at giving seats as well

d0ttyne11 · 20/12/2014 09:33

Justyouwait has covered nearly everything I was going to say.

After feeling awful fairly early and nearly fainting while atabding when I wasn't showing (9 wks) I

d0ttyne11 · 20/12/2014 09:41

Argh! Silly typing on iPhone..

... Nearly fainting while Standing (in middle of crowded carriage) while I wasn't showing (9 wks) I wish I'd worn mine as it would have explained making a meagre dash for the door at first station to get off and regain composure. It was horrid.

I asked at the tube at Victoria and they have me 2 badges. I tend to keep in my pocket / bag and pin one on if I feel extra weary. Recently I kept it on and MIL picked me up from station. First thing she said 'oh you're advertising the fact now are you!?' (I can laugh now but it had been a long day and I was tired and emotional at the time)

Bus isn't usually a problem. But the behaviour described above I do tend to see on the tube. Tbh I used to think - it's your own choice to fall pregnant and commute this way (sorry!) but now I can't help but think Tfl must make them for a reason!!

Sorry, this is all a bit garbled. In short, it may help and I can see me using it more in third trimester again.

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