to think everyone has become obsessed with cleanliness

[palamino]

i have been reading other threads, eg frequency of changing towels/pyjamas/sheets, frequency of cleaning house/bathroom/toys. I must be a complete slob, towels changed weekly, pyjamas changed weekly, sheets every 2-3 weeks, house cleaned once a week. I don't squirt everywhere with disinfectant multiple times each day, if food drops on the floor briefly I would not automatically throw it away, and I have never minded the DCs getting mucky. We are the most healthy family i know, the house never looks dirty or untidy (apart from teenagers rooms-i just shut their doors!!), i am definitely not into this obsessive cleaning lark !!

It depends how I feel. If I am having a good run I am very clean. If I am not in a good place I concentrate on a clean bathroom, kitchen and living room.

Mrs cog Marine said it.not you :)

Marianne. Silly autocorrect

I am glad a lot of people are obsessed with cleanliness as it is the foundation of my business!

If everyone was obsessed by cleanliness, then you wouldn't have a business! As they would do it all themselves...because they are obsessed.

If they were obssessed with cleaning they would do it themselves...all my friends with cleaners have much cleaner houses (apart from my friend with the anxiety)

As my Mum always says ... 'Tidy house is a tidy mind and a tidy life!'

I should write a disclaimer for that for the clever dicks with their sarcastic responses but I can't be arsed. Nearly dealt with a bottle of Prosecco so I'm not up for a fight today

I am a slob but I'm slowly reevaluating all the items around me. Can recommend the Marie kondo book and thread to extreme declutter. Less clutter equals a tidier house with minimum effort. I'm not sure i'll ever be hooked on cleaning though!

Funkyboldribena - fair point but I would say about half of our clients are super clean, they just want us to do it instead of them as they are busy/knackered, we love these!

The other half haven't a clue and don't care how we do it they just don't want us to stop doing it and would be at a loss themselves - love these too come to think of it!

When I was going through a bout of depression I used to get up in the middle of the night and clean for hours. I've done the same when I was going through a really stressful time a few years back. I don't know why, I suppose it's relaxing and something to do to take my mind off things.

In normal life I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm definitely not bothered about washing clothes/towels/bedding every day. I'm more bothered by mess than germs but we live in quite a small space so any clutter seems amplified.

I am sure there are women who don't clean every day but they wouldn't brag about it.

What about the men in your working class area, Mrs DV?

Can you be a slob and clean? I might change my bedding more than others because I sometimes let my children eat toast and jam in my bed on a Saturday morning, that kind of thing? If so, can I apply?

That's another MN thing, MrsDV. All men must do 50% of housework otherwise we must LTBs.

Wrong, Argy, I'm quite happy for men to do more than 50% of the housework

As a feminist I don't see keeping a home clean and tidy to be entirely the domain of the woman. However, Mrs DV and her friends appear to.

How did you deduce that MrsDV doesn't think the man should do any housework?

cateblanket I think that's a bit uncalled for. MrsDV has been very open and honest about her reasons for cleaning, which are hugely personal. She has also stated much further upthread that she thinks competitiveness over this area is silly, and that people should just do what suits them, which I'm sure includes men doing their share where required.

No you are right Argy there is no reason for my poor DH to put himself out doing house work or helping out with the children.

As well as being the person who contributes most to the family finances I see it as important that I should also take on the entire household duties because I am in fact super woman.

Could I try - probably useless - but it's meant to be the season of goodwill to inject a little calm?

People who post on Mumsnet are not psychic, though some posters do have a better picture of one another because they've posted on lots of the same threads.

But in general nobody can intuit at the outset what an individual poster's circumstances might be.

I too was struck by the way - though I'd not said it - that it is women who feel responsible for the cleanliness of the family home. The discussion of how houses are - or aren't cleaned has been very much about what women as individuals do - rather than what is done by women and men who are a couple.

I think people have shared some really interesting things about how cleaning and tidying can be a female mechanism for coping with stress. (Though it's two-edged, because people are also saying how minor bits of untidiness also add to stress.)

However, it is just not possible to expect contributors to know in advance, about the extent to which factors like serious illness, a child with special needs and disability impact on one woman's family life and domestic arrangements.

We really don't know each other. (Someone above said, 'Oh I bet you watch lots of TV.' I don't and even felt mildly narked by the assumption. It was just an incorrect picture that had been formed because something I'd said reminded someone of their mate who watched telly all night. That person's experience was that people who are more relaxed about cleaning are telly addicts.)

Sometimes we feel distress when people seem to misread us. But I think once we explain our circumstances, the great majority of people here are pretty understanding.

Hence it's better to wait for full story before wading in with sarky comments.

I think what I am trying to say is that a) it's good to give significant details at an early opportunity, b) to supply them later as soon as it seems clarification is required and c) whenever possible try to avoid getting upset - because the stranger who has said something you're reacting to, is likely to be genuinely unaware of the particular difficulties and obstacles you are having to overcome.

If we waited till we knew everything about everyone, there'd not be a lot of conversation on these boards!

Happy Christmas everyone.

Very well put Marianne.