to think everyone has become obsessed with cleanliness

[palamino]

i have been reading other threads, eg frequency of changing towels/pyjamas/sheets, frequency of cleaning house/bathroom/toys. I must be a complete slob, towels changed weekly, pyjamas changed weekly, sheets every 2-3 weeks, house cleaned once a week. I don't squirt everywhere with disinfectant multiple times each day, if food drops on the floor briefly I would not automatically throw it away, and I have never minded the DCs getting mucky. We are the most healthy family i know, the house never looks dirty or untidy (apart from teenagers rooms-i just shut their doors!!), i am definitely not into this obsessive cleaning lark !!

In our house cleanliness and tidiness seems to come in waves. For example at the moment you can barely get to the stairs or the lounge because of all of the stuff in the hall but its xmas stuff plus a buggy and so I know that if I put the buggy in the boot of the car and give out all of the presents then it will be tidy-ish again. But I cannot be arsed to even put the buggy away because the presents will still be there and so not tidy and so whats the point of doing half? Ill do it all next week then try to keep it tidy for a couple of weeks before something else creeps in to make me give up again.

Same in each room really. Always something that cr*ps all over my attempts to keep it nice. When we move im getting more storage and a big empty cupboard for transient things like xmas presents

Arguably the chemicals used in cleaning products and the electricity used by cleaning appliances do contribute to environmental damage/the depletion of fossil fuels etc.

It is rare that adult children look back and think that one of the things they loved about their mother was the way she cleaned and tidied. (Extreme squalor/hoarding etc will embarrass older children, but apart from that they probably feel that zealous tidying and cleaning is oppressive.)

If a parent frowns on anything that resembles 'messy play', it's not brilliant for children's development.

Time spent cleaning is typically time spent not interacting. Housework doesn't tend to involve talking to other family members and doing something as a group. Is is often a 'cut off' pursuit.

Very high cleaning standards often trigger arguments and relationship problems. The 'ultra clean' person will resent the 'less clean' person. Either they will do all the cleaning as the other person 'won't clean properly'. Or 'does it wrong.' Or a lot of energy is spent trying to make the more 'relaxed' partner do thing the 'proper clean' way.

People tell such porky pies. Their water bills and power bills would be into the stratosphere if half the folk on here do washing the way they say they do, not counting those who have two showers and a bath every day and claim they can smell anyone who hasn't washed in the past hour. Bollocks.

It is rare that adult children look back and think that one of the things they loved about their mother was the way she cleaned and tidied. (Extreme squalor/hoarding etc will embarrass older children, but apart from that they probably feel that zealous tidying and cleaning is oppressive.

I grew up in a house which was not cluttered or dirty but certainly not pristine by any standards even though we had a cleaner. I was so jealous when i went to friend's houses which were spotless and wished mine was. I do look back and wish it had been cleaner and tidier.

I also look back and wish my parents house was tidier. It wasn't squalor but was embarrisingly messy and dirty ie bathroom was terrible and clutter everywhere. My mother didn't work, didn't cook and didn't really play or entertain us, so I do think she could have at least kept the house half clean

I'm with you OP. I can't get my head around washing towels after every use.

Fuck that for a laugh.

Clean undies each day is ok, but washing jeans after each wearing is completely crazy.

I think, as an out and out slattern, I am not at all bothered (other than from an ecological point of view) about people who enjoy cleaning/can't relax until the bin is emptied etc. Everyone has hobbies, and if cleaning is some people's choice then that's fine by me, and why I can't get too het up about the ecological side - I like reading, that has a carbon 'cost', as does playing my electric piano, or watching TV. You could argue that if I really cared about the environment I wouldn't do those.

However, I don't think some of the standards of cleanliess are necessary to be healthy and sanitary, yet a seemingly large number of people are stressed up to the eyeballs washing towels every few days (or whatever) whilst stressed about other aspects of life. I wash towels when they either - 1. Start to smell damp (which is about after 10 days in this house) or 2. I can't get them dry. The same with dishes - I do try and do them regularly, but I can relax without doing them if it means a fun night in with DH. I think there are some people who could benefit from less worrying in the area of housekeeping if it would release them to enjoy life more. For some (my Mum falls into this category) this wouldn't be the case, but for others (my sister springs to mind) it absolutely would.

YY mrsDe I don't really care what people do as long as they're happy and it's legal. :D

The only things I've GOT to do everyday are cleaning the loo, kitchen surfaces and I do hoover every day (but we have laminate, and two dogs that shed, plus me who apparently also sheds) or theres hair everywhere and on everything and it drives me loopy, in fact even with hoovering everyday, there's hair everywhere, and it drives me loopy.

Oh I completely believe that some people are clean freaks and I know several. Their homes are scrubbed every day. A friend of mine turned up the other day and said she had spent the morning bleaching the radiator caps. What?!

I sweep the floors with a glance

Loved Jo Brands idea for a book to rival Anthea Turners perfect housewife, she was going to call it 'fuck it, that'll do'

One of the saddest conversations I ever had with my mother, was when my young daughter was about.

She and I were talking about things we were good at. Reading stories. Running fast. Making cakes. Being a friend. That sort of thing. So I turned to my mother and said, 'What would you say you're good at?'

There was a very long pause indeed. Then she said, 'I think I'm quite good at making beds.'

I really stress about cleanliness, I hate it when I've not had time to change and wash the towels every couple of day/bed sheets weekly/rabbit needs cleaning out etcetcetc

It is rare that adult children look back and think that one of the things they loved about their mother was the way she cleaned and tidied. (Extreme squalor/hoarding etc will embarrass older children, but apart from that they probably feel that zealous tidying and cleaning is oppressive.)

You are wrong there. My mum hated housework. From as young as I could remember I was embarrassed at how dirty, cluttered and untidy our house was. The kitchen was a disgrace and my mum used to smoke while she was cooking. As soon as I was big enough I used to clean up because I was so ashamed of the house when my friends came round.

My house is presentable and usually clean and tidy and it's a wonder that I haven't gone to the opposite extreme as a result of my upbringing.

Does anyone remember that film called 'Drop Dead Fred' with Rick Myall?
It was about a girl whose mother was obsessed with cleaning and had a pure white carpet etc. Her imaginary friend urged her to tread mud all over it, to get some attention from the woman, who was a cold character. My mother was like this. Our house was 'respectable' and her only aim was for it to gleam, in order to keep up with the neighbours. It was like a clinic and we were nowhere. I hated her and so did my dsis. She was the most abusive parent you could imagine. We used to wish we had a mum like our friends' down the road. Their house was a bit messy (not dirty) relaxed and homely. That's the sort of home we have now; not 'dirty' but nice and cosy, reasonably tidy, but not 'Allus in Ordnung'.

Not on topic...but want is WOH? I'm guessing work outside the home...

'From as young as I could remember I was embarrassed at how dirty, cluttered and untidy our house was. The kitchen was a disgrace and my mum used to smoke while she was cooking. As soon as I was big enough I used to clean up because I was so ashamed of the house when my friends came round.'

I think that's a good point bunbaker, and again there's a whole new difference between slatternly housekeeping which you correct for guests and when you don't. I would never have a visitor without having a decent clean and tidy, in fact a friend said the other day 'oh Mr & Mrs Cog's house is always the most immaculate'. I almost spat my drink out, but at least I can pull it together once a month or so when we have people over!!

YY mkmjimmy you've got it - working out of home.

I can't find a house cozy if its messy...I cannot relax if I see a lot of mess and chores that need sorting out.

I find a messy, cluttered house claustrophobic.