AIBU to tell SIL either after 12 or before Christmas?

[DontTurnAround]

For the first time in a long long time DH and I will spend Christmas Eve in our own home and have dinner at the PILS. We've pretty much always spent Christmas eve at my mums, gone to PILS Christmas morning to keep in with SILs timetable(she has children, we don't) then gone back to my mums for dinner. This inevitably leads to much rushing on Christmas morning because we have to be at PILs by about 10/11am.

SO to preempt all this running about and let us enjoy Christmas morning in our own home(and so we don't spend all day at PILS) I've asked SIL when she's planning on going to ILS. She's just said 'probably 12 but maybe before' I've replied saying if its before 12 then we'll need to arrange another day in the next week to take the kids presents up.

Is that rude? AIBU? I normally just go with the flow where DHs family is concerned because we do do more stuff with my mum and her husband so I will make the effort when needed with the in laws but to be honest I'm not inclined to this year I want to enjoy Christmas and I'm giving up dinner with my mum and all its yummy goodness that MIL can't matchso want it to be worthwhile and enjoy ourselves.

Can your SIL not pop to you on her way to the ILS so kids can open presents then head off? Otherwise I don't think it's rude to suggest another day

I would make own decision and either say

1. We will be there at 12. Or
2. We are staying home this year.

Don't ask her permission. Kids really don't need all this strict timetabling anyway.

no she lives about a 2 minute walk from my PILS, DH and I are 6 miles away. We never see them unless its at PILS or they need a babysitter.

I would just speak to her and tell her the time you plan to arrive, and explain you've decided to have a relaxed Christmas morning for a change this year.

I guess she may have another set of parents to fit in in the day, nap times perhaps too and by the afternoon kids are generally knackered she may not feel she has much flex, but I wouldn't be offended if someone told me their plan and then we worked to find an hour or so of crossover time in the middle, or even just do it the next day when they have run out of pressies!

Don't ask her, just do what suits you. If she can't tell you a set time then just tell her that you'll drop the presents with PILs one day this week and then do your own thing. Enjoy your Christmas, don't stress yourself out over someone who can't commit to a plan.