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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think sending someone constant requests to play games lacks social awareness?

51 replies

teawithalice · 17/12/2014 12:06

Something and nothing really, but:

A few months ago a girl who I know vaguely from school added me as a friend on Facebook. Since then, I have had four to five requests a DAY to play games.

I know you can just ignore them, which I did, but AIBU to think that it lacks an awareness of sorts - that if someone's ignored them the first week then they aren't interested? Just deleted her as it was getting really annoying.

OP posts:

WineWineWine · 19/12/2014 09:53

But why should you have to go through the effort of blocking the games they play?

It takes about half a second to block a game!

When you see the notification, click on the X at the top right of the notification, it then gives you the option to turn notifications on or off for that game. Click Turn Off.

No effort involved.

teawithalice · 20/12/2014 08:36

It really doesn't on my new laptop Wine

GraysAnalogy · 20/12/2014 08:40

A new laptop doesn't change how facebook works. Some things may appear slightly differently but it'll be there.

The x thing works for me or you can go into settings then app settings

People do really create a rigmarole for themselves

Redglitter · 20/12/2014 08:45

One of my friends appears to send numerous games requests. It's a game her son plays they come in when she's working and he's at school or in the middle of the night so it's clearly the game sending them. She's tried everything to stop them. It's sort of got a standing joke now. Most of her friends have blocked the game

teawithalice · 20/12/2014 08:45

I wonder if it is just people who send endless requests who lack FB awareness

On my new laptop there is no "x" - if you click on it you get taken straight to an app for the game.

I could be exceptionally stupid but I'm not - I have done it before in the way that you describe. It's just changed since I got a new laptop.

RoganJosh · 20/12/2014 08:52

On my phone there's a little 'v' or arrowhead to the top right of each status in my newsfeed. If you click on that it gives you the option to hide all from that person, or that game/app.

ALittleFaith · 20/12/2014 08:55

I hate this! I had an old colleague add me recently. She never posts on FB, never messages but she sent me game requests daily. Clearly she only added me to have someone to game request! I've blocked all game requests from her now. Might actually delete her. YANBU, it's rude!

GraysAnalogy · 20/12/2014 08:55

so teawithalice im guessing the x doesn't show up on your friends statuses either? That's weird

Hassled · 20/12/2014 08:59

I don't people realise they're doing it. I have a couple of FB friends who send me regular requests to play some bollocks game and it's so unlike them that I can only think they have no idea it's happening. I want to tell them but can't see how to without causing embarrassment - and they would be embarrassed.

BeyondTheTreelights · 20/12/2014 09:03

Its rude and def done on purpose. As my mum plays the same game i keep getting requests for, yet i have not once had a request from her!

And i use the app, so its a pita to block the game. People just shouldnt do it.

teawithalice · 20/12/2014 09:35

Grays, I get the requests to play games via notifications. When I click on a notification there isn't an 'x' (there did used to be.) If I click on the game itself - to try to block it - I just get taken to the app store.

I can't screen shot this as I have deleted the repeat offender (after many months of this - it was just driving me mad.) I'm fairly FB savvy: know how to block and delete, know how to hide people, know how to only show photos to some people ... but I really couldn't block this game. I don't doubt there was a way but I'm not on my laptop much and it was definitely impossible on my phone!

GraysAnalogy · 20/12/2014 09:37

When it comes up onto your timeline, not in notifications, there should be an arrow there that opens a drop down menu

Or alternatively you can go into settings. I block all the apps because they do my nut in

teawithalice · 20/12/2014 09:38

It never, ever comes up on my timeline. It's just through notifications. "XXX invited you to play Diamond Digger whatever"

I have never had a game come up on my timeline.

BeyondTheTreelights · 20/12/2014 09:42

Its not in the same place on the app, i just blocked a game using the site then went onto the app to see if it was there and it only showed the option to block people. And no, theres no 'x' or 'v' on the notifications like there used to be.

Teawithalice, youre gonna need to go on the webpage and do it through yr settings :)

sooperdooper · 20/12/2014 09:43

Facebook games send these requests automatically, she's not posting them to you herself

Just block the game, it takes two seconds, it's simple!!

I honestly wonder at people who whinge about FB game requests, it's not a personal invite to you, it's automated to her whole friends list until you block - no need to block her at all

teawithalice · 20/12/2014 09:48

Beyond - I've deleted now :)

sooper - I'm not sure about that, I don't doubt there are times when Facebook sends the request out to everybody but I was getting between four and six of them a day, every day, over a period of about seven months.

To place matters in context, the friend was somebody who had been a couple of years above me in school but then coincidentally had moved to the next town and been a student of my Dad who taught her History (he was a teacher, obviously) He died in May and she contacted me to ask about the funeral which was nice. But since then I haven't had any nice memories of my Dad or messages about how I am doing (she didn't even come to the funeral!) just fucking GAMES! So it probably annoyed me a bit more than it would otherwise.

Obviously, if she'd been someone I was really genuinely fond of it would have been a bit different and I don't mind either way about the occasional notification but this was different due to the excessive alerts to them I was getting.

sooperdooper · 20/12/2014 09:57

Sorry about your dad, it must be hard for you

But honestly the apps send the messages, the more she plays the more it sends, you need to figure out how to use your FB settings and stop the notifications if you get them from anyone else :)

teawithalice · 20/12/2014 09:59

But I don't, yet I am sure others amongst the two hundred or so friends I have on there play games :) I'm fairly sure she knew they were going out - they weren't messages by the way just "invites" which appeared via notifications.

BeyondTheTreelights · 20/12/2014 10:46

As i've said, i get 0 off my mum. And my mum is a daily player. As are both sisters. 0 requests off them too.
Yet two different friends - daily requests. Same game.

ALittleFaith · 20/12/2014 13:23

sooper I play some games and it suggests asking people for more lives. One click and it sends requests out either at random or to all your friends. I can - and do - chose not to bombard my friends with these requests!

FreudiansSlipper · 20/12/2014 13:26

not given them much thought as they are sent automatically

this is why i do not link my games to facebook, i do not want others to know what a loser I am on candycrush

itsnotjustastick · 20/12/2014 13:30

i pay loads of games and im careful that when i add games i check the 'only me' for ' who sees notifications.

I also never send out requests because i know very few of my friends play.

BUT the apps sometimes do post by themselves. id rather someone told me what the app was up to than just block me as a friend!

Summeblaze · 20/12/2014 14:14

I get loads of requests for candy crush etc and I just ignore them. Can't really see why everone gets worked up about it.

WineWineWine · 20/12/2014 14:42

Its rude and def done on purpose.
It is NOT on purpose a lot of the time. People don't realise that they have given permission for the app to send requests to their friends without checking. The app doesn't ask every time.

If you don't have the X on the notifications, you might need to hold your mouse over it.

If not
Go to Settings, click on Blocking
Under Block App Invites, you can add any friends who you want to block from sending game invites.
Under Block Apps, you can block any apps

To think sending someone constant requests to play games lacks social awareness?

WineWineWine · 20/12/2014 14:48

i get 0 off my mum. And my mum is a daily player. As are both sisters. 0 requests off them too.
Yet two different friends - daily requests. Same game.

Players can prevent games from sending things to their friends, but not all players know how to stop them.
The default position for a lot of games, is that they will try to send invites to all friends. Once you accept it the first time, you can inadvertently give it permission to send further requests without asking.
Players who understand this, can say no or only send requests to fellow players, but they often have to do this every single time they play so it is very easy to slip up and send a request they didn't mean to.

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