This is a bit of a long story. I'll try to keep it brief. I've known my friend since our boys were in playgroup together. They were in the same class at primary and are now at secondary together. They're both in year 7. Her ds always struggled a bit to make friends but my ds always liked him and made sure he got included. She is very over protective and used to go into school a lot to complain about other boys being nasty to her ds. She would also complain to me about some of my ds's friends because she wanted me to speak to their parents. I knew there was frequently another side to the story but kept well out. Her son is quite physically aggressive and frankly doesn't make an effort to get along with people. I can honestly say no one picked on him.
My ds's opinion of this boy started to change a bit when the boy started to tease him about his nut allergy. I got sickened when I saw him stick a piece of chocolate cake under his nose and say ha ha you can't eat this. My ds also got sick of the constant complaining to his mum about being left out because it was usually made up. I witnessed one occasion when ds and a friend decided to try sketching from a you tube tutorial. The boy was also there but point blanked refused to join in although he was asked several times. He went home and complained to his mum. She texted me and I said I thought it was lovely to see them do something other than Xbox and he was asked to join in. She got a bit huffy with me.
Now the boys are in secondary school. I made my son include this boy in walking to and from school because it's not nice to walk on your own. Now I'm getting complaints about the boys leaving him. He is frequently late but she expects them to wait. Yesterday I got a text saying they just abandoned him after school and it was dark etc. I confronted my son and he said the boy walked off without saying a word. I relayed this back and my friend said 'I know he did because they kept talking about scooters and he doesn't like scooters'. Well what are they supposed to do??
This woman is actually a really nice person otherwise and she's been a very good friend. This is why I've tried to make ds include him. However this morning at the school run for our younger kids she ignored me. I think she's annoyed about yesterday. I'm a bit upset about losing the friendship but I do think the kids have to sort this out. I have tried to make them include him but if they don't actually like him what can I do? My dh says it's my fault because I've got them used to having my ds include the boy and he's reliant on him.
How do I sort this without losing the friendship?