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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is grabby by the school and we as parents already give enough!!!!!

57 replies

Worryingwombat · 16/12/2014 22:55

This might out me but hey ho!!

This afternoon a letter arrived home in the school book bag from the governors stating that from january the school would be asking for a £10 donation per term per family towards the upkeep of the school

As the school is a religious school they have to stump up 10% of the yearly building and upkeep costs

But drinking hell I will have £10. A term not so bad if they stopped all the other stuff but no letter mentions more fund raising!!!

So far since September we have had

3 non uniform days all had to find dress up outfits for both my kids ( I made 2 and borrowed for 1 of the days)
Gift in a bag donations
Bottle donations
4school trips to be paid
Music activity pay to take part
Bake cakes for school
Then bloody buy them
Christmas fair
Sweet jars
School photos at £28 a pop!!
Class photos

And next year
Easter party
Easter bonnets
Non uniform days
2 more outings
Donations for books
Donations for summer fair
The summer fair!!!

I give up I bet I will have spent over £100 when I've done and now they want £10 a term!!

I don't mind the trips as the boys get something out of it but the rest is a nightmare!!

I give up!!

So AIBU to think this is grabby and guilting me in to it !!

OP posts:
Original poster
Worryingwombat · 16/12/2014 23:26

It is a RC school

But we chose the school as our niece went to the school and it is lovely and the staff are great Grin

The school choice had nothing to do with been a RC school and I had no idea that the funding was different for religious schools at the time

I guess I need to get a grip and accept IABU AND PAY UP

I don't want this thread to get nasty about star and religious schools so I will asked for it to be pulled but thank you for the advice Smile

OP posts:
Purplepoodle · 16/12/2014 23:31

You chose to send your child to a religious school which is obviously having a shortfall due to this buildings cost yabu.

If school had no trips, photos, music activities, you would soon be complaining. My own school can't afford stationary, we are going to have to start asking parents to supply kids with the basics at the start of the school year and donate paper ect because if we use our budget for that then there's nothing in the pot for anything else inc subsidised music lessons and free/subsidised activities.

Honestly go to some pta meetings or school finance, it's a real eye opener

Original poster
Worryingwombat · 16/12/2014 23:32

They have said the money will go towards the building up keep

I guess I have not explained myself well on here at all!!

I have no problem with giving to the school it is just getting more and more at least with the things I have listed the kids are getting something out of it

Non uniform or buying cakes or the fairs something they take part in

I think it grabby just to say we will be expecting parents to donate every term

OP posts:
JohnCusacksWife · 16/12/2014 23:35

Well said, purplepoodle! I'm getting more and more fed up of people who choose to know nothing about the finances of our school complaining about the finances of our school!

Original poster
Worryingwombat · 16/12/2014 23:35

I will go to the next PTA meeting, I was asked to join in October but my health is bad at the moment so could not take on a role

But I could still offer my support

Your right maybe seeing things from another side will be different

And yes it is my own stupid fault I did not look in to the way religious schools are funded.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worryingwombat · 16/12/2014 23:36

You have opened my eyes!

One of the things I love about mumsnet

And my postings do not mean to insult anyone who is involved in schools or PTAs and the school finances

OP posts:
Greencurtain · 16/12/2014 23:42

Hmmmm
Lots of primary schools do non uniform days, fairs etc etc. There are lots of things to pay small amounts for and sort out. Children in general enjoy this sort of stuff and there would be plenty of complaints if schools did no fun stuff like this.

Re the £10 per term. Now schools in general are very very short of money. I wonder how many pupils in your school - lets guess at 200 ish. So even if everyone gives £10, the school will get £2000. When you think of the expenses the school have to meet (vast) they must be pretty desperate to beg £2000 (very small amout of money compared to how much is needed). So long as I had the £10 available I would give it without a moment's hesitation. If £10 was going to come out of essential pre allocated money then I would send a note apologising and pay £20 the following term so long as I had it spare.

BreconBeBuggered · 16/12/2014 23:43

Money raised by sweetie jars, fairs and so on goes into a completely different pot from the one that sees to premises expenditure, so you've no hope of a donation putting an end to the other requests. I don't imagine the governors expect everyone to cough up at all, but they have to take every measure they can to balance the books.
Having said that, I'm a governor at a VA school, and we've never asked for regular parental donations in this way, or even considered it. I doubt we'd get enough to cover the cost of sending out the letters.

Bulbasaur · 16/12/2014 23:58

It's a donation. It means you don't have to do it. Just ignore and give vague non-answers when questioned "I'll look into it" "Let me think about it".

dancingwithmyselfandthecat · 17/12/2014 03:56

What would irritate me here as much as the demands itself is the lack of communication on why the money is needed and how it benefits. Frankly 30 per child per year is a piss in the ocean for premises revamping - as someone said it come in as only a few k per term. I would write an arsey letter to the effect of
"Dear Bursar/Head/PTA

Thank you for your most recent request for a donation which I am now considering in line with the family budget. Clearly I am happy to support the school as far as it lies within my means to do so. However, I am concerned that the sporadic nature of the requests and fact that overall amounts raised (which for this project seem particularly small for capital expenditure) suggest either a degree of short termism or have little correlation to the overall project. I am sure this is due to an absence of information on my part, so was wondering if it might be possible to see a budget (as many charities would make available for a restricted funds donation) and future plans for prioritising expenditure and allocating funds from parents. As you are affialiated to the Catholic Church, a wealthy institution and substantial landowner in this country as well as internationally, I should also be interested to see their contribution or (if there is none) confirmation that they have been approached. I appreciate the trouble you will take to provide this information as it will be reassuring to many parents, particularly those of us who cannot participate in the PTA and do not already have some awareness of the situation.

Thank you"

Bunbaker · 17/12/2014 07:35

"The school should be asking the church for the money, it's not like they are short of a few pounds."

That's a popular misconception.

"What would irritate me here as much as the demands itself is the lack of communication on why the money is needed and how it benefits.

I agree. At DD's primary school the PTA used to send a newsletter out outlining what the PTA fund raising was used for. I'm surprised that not many other schools do this.

LL12 · 17/12/2014 07:42

My DD is in a faith school in a very middle class area and has always done this although only 50% give the £10 vol donation.

WhereIsMySantaHat · 17/12/2014 07:51

It's the same at my children's school, they ask for it per child!

The church also recently asked for similar.

Panicmode1 · 17/12/2014 08:01

Our PTA always used to raise funds for luxuries - now the school are saying that the money is vital for necessities - library books, book bags, water bottles, sports kit etc.... I think if you can go and find out what the money is needed for, you will be surprised at how massively under pressure budgets are. I know that sometimes schools forget that some of us have more than 2 children in them at one time (I have four) but I am sure it's not a compulsory spend - if you can pay it, pay; if not, don't.

5madthings · 17/12/2014 08:07

I would be miffed at this but tbf schools can't win as some parents prefer to make a once a term donation like this.

I know what you mean about it all adding up, especially once you have more than one child but I figure my child will be there seven years! And the madthings love their school and their teachers etc. I help out on the pta when I can and see the work that goes on behind the scenes. And it is worth it imo.

Oobviously if you can't afford it then don't give, or give a lesser amount?

I would be asking for a few more details as dancing has suggested. Our school and pta publish details on what has been raised and what it will be spent on etc.

LegsOfSteel · 17/12/2014 08:26

I was brought up in a country where it was common to pay a school donation. Most paid - some probably couldn't afford it so didn't. We also had to pay for our own stationery.
I think you've got it good in the UK. Yes, education is free for all - but if you want kids to have more than the basics you (or somebody else) are probably going to have to pay something.

HicDraconis · 17/12/2014 08:33

This year our school donation (voluntary, except we get the request emailed as a tax invoice) is $100 per term for both boys. We also have to pay for all stationery (books, pens, box of tissues, 2 glue sticks, permanent and white board markers) for each child every year. The local Warehouse Stationery sells them as prepacked "Room X stationery box" and that's normally $50-60 each. Any books or pens which need replacing during the year (DS2 writes large and lots!) are also our expense.

£10 per term sounds great to me.

TraceyTrickster · 17/12/2014 10:48

Think yourself lucky you are not in Australia.

ALL state schools invoice you for fees- ours is about 240quid this year (for grade 3) AND they ask for voluntary contributions for the school playground/ IT and random other things. We also fund raise.

On the plus side, the fees cover all excursions except the 2 week swimming programme.

CheeseBuster · 17/12/2014 10:56

I wouldn't pay it. The church can pay or they can sell some bibles rather than demand money from parents.

MaliceInWinterWonderland78 · 17/12/2014 10:59

This should at least get people used to the idea that so-called "free" services aren't free at all (or at least not in a sustainable way). It's the start of a very slippery slope! Not one that I'm idealogically opposed to btw.

Our kids go to a school with fewer than 40 pupils - so I'd doubt they'd raise much anyway. That said, we're quite a tightly knit bunch, and many parents contribute to the school in other ways - which relieves pressure on the budget.

funnyossity · 17/12/2014 11:07

Irish parents pay for school books. We are lucky in world terms.

But I get what you are saying. I don't do all donations, nor baking. My kids don't like non-uniform days and "forget" them.

giddly · 17/12/2014 11:11

Why does everyone assume going to a church school is a choice? It isn't where I am - I would have to do a 20 mile round trip to find a non-church school in our (rural) area, and probably wouldn't get the kids in anyway as well out of catchment.

Vycount · 17/12/2014 11:50

If you have a look at the last few public minutes of governors meetings you'll probably be able to read why they came to this decision. Schools are getting less funding. If it's an older building, or if budgets have been strained for some time, they may really need this money. The governors won't have made this decision lightly.
There's nothing confidential about the overall budget position, you should be able to see their 3 Year budget plan alongside a set of minutes around April/May time. Ask.

KERALA1 · 17/12/2014 12:10

The ops outrage is quite funny - the PTA and staff aren't spending the money on champagne for the teachers it's to fund things for yours and others kids. If you want tax cuts there will be less and less to spare for schools and this type of funding will increase - see posters above on Australia. Also it's voluntary so don't pay if you can't.

ruddynorah · 17/12/2014 12:21

You aren't obliged to contribute or donate to everything. Just pick a couple of things. Why did you put a fiver gift in the bags? I put a handful of penny sweets in ours. Previously I've put a bar of chocolate in. I don't do bake sales either. I do however volunteer in class and help with school trips. Help where you can.