to think this is a bit odd...

[ghostspirit]

Today my sons school called me and said i hope your not offended by this but we have a hamper for you if you would like it. i accepted. its got things in it that could easy be used, ie pasta rice. xmas pudding, beans, spag cereal. custard. couple sweets for the kids.

my friend was offered one as well. but she just told me she is not going to collect it because its every day things you would buy on shopping list. I said its free though and saves bit of money. nothing to do with me really i just thought it a bit odd. im sure the school could give it to someone else

Sounds like you've been identified as someone who could put it to use

Do you mean you think it is odd your friend wouldn't collect it?

I don't think it's odd - it's understandable really. People can be very proud when it comes to accepting what they deem charity.

Why do you think your were offered it? Are you suffering hardship?

I think it's a lovely thing for the school to do, I'd imagine it's something for low income families?

If you don't mind me asking Sorry, that sounded really rude.

It's a nice gesture by the school. They've obviously identified you as maybe being in need. Accept it graciously.

It'll probably be Pupil Premium money.

Maybe your friend is too proud to accept it. Some people find it hard to admit they are struggling.

no not classed as hard ship. thats who i thought they were aimed at as well. about 12 years ago i had family support i got one then. so i guessed it just went with the situation ie under hard ship for support that i was getting...

im a single parent but then so are alot of people so cant see that as a hardship thing.

my friend is under a hardship situation. so can see why she would have been offered one.

but then there is another friend. whos sister died not long ago and she had to take her children on. and has had a really bad year and was not offered one. so im not really sure how they decide who they give it to.

i said to friend maybe she could collect it and gi9ve it to the friend whos sister died. but she said no.

i guess it dont really matter.

:( now im thinking the other way maybe i should not have accepted it. as im not actually struggling. and maybe someone who is should have had it

It's a really nice thing that the school is doing there. Could you mention to the school that the other woman could do with some support?

Perhaps she just doesn't want it.

Plenty of single mums are perfectly capable of putting food on the table under their own steam.

She shouldn't have to be grateful for something she didn't ask for and doesn't think she needs.

thats true saucyjack

Maybe they are offering one to all children who get free school meals, or who have gotten a uniform grant etc. The children whose parent(s) are on certain benefits such as income support? I think it's a lovely gesture on behalf of the school, and I think you were quite right to accept it graciously. Things are a bit hard for myself atm, so I wouldn't turn it down. It seems to have come from a thoughtful place as opposed to condescending. As others have said, maybe your friend feels to proud to take it. Or she could have just done a massive shop and really not have space for it?

yeah never thought about it that way.

Ghost maybe you don't get free school meals etc, that was just a thought?

no i dont. it might have just been that i touched base with the person who sorts it all out.

i forget her role. but shes like a support person for children/parents in the school. and i had a moan about my son and asked her if she could have a chat with him. so maybe it was just that we touched base.

We sometimes get these from a local church - they ask us to identify families who may benefit and we then distribute.

Perhaps some members o staff nominated people to get them and your name came up.

I would go into the school and ask (nicely) if you really don't need it perhaps you could give yours to the lady u mentioned or say to someone in the school if there's a spare one going this lady may benefit