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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that looking after a sick child is one of the hardest bits of parenting?

32 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 16/12/2014 20:04

Dd (6)only has a bad cold/ flu and I am worn out.

The worry of her having a temperature.
Worry in general.
The coughing that keeps us both awake.
The grumpy moods.
He fear of the doctor.
The puking due to coughing so hard.
The administration of medicine.
Having to stay at all all day with dd who can't go to school.

The poor little mite and she only has a cold. Hats off to all parents with children with serious illness.

OP posts:
MrsPepperMintonCandyCane · 16/12/2014 20:08

When they are ill/hurt I always feel like I wish I had a grown up to help!! I never feel capable enough

KnackeredMerrily · 16/12/2014 20:13

Funny, I think I get into 'the zone' and am quite efficient at nursing. It is of course very unpleasant to worry about them - but during times of 'need' I manage to suck it up.

I crumble afterwards though! But when they are 'poorly' I feel at my finest hour.

*please note I have never had very poorly children, just the germs and falls to be expected from a toddler.

Sirzy · 16/12/2014 20:15

Yanbu. It's a nightmare. DS is ill again and it's awful especially the having to arrange childcare for while I work and feeling guilty going out

RaisingMen · 16/12/2014 20:16

I am a huge worrier, but do what I have to do when DS is poorly. He always seems to get ill through the night which somehow makes high temperatures more scary!

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 16/12/2014 20:19

Last year both DC and I came down with full blown flu, it was so bad none of us could even lift our heads up.

DH had no choice but to work, it was hell on earth.

Yanbu looking after a sick child is hard work.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/12/2014 20:26

I think the hardest part of parenting changes as they get older - for me, at the moment, it is the worry of what ds3 will get up to when he goes off on a lads' holiday to Malia next year. I would far rather he didn't go off on a sun, sea and excess alcohol holiday, but he will be 18 by the time he wants to go, and is earning the money to pay for it and spending money.

He also drinks too much - we don't often buy him alcohol, and when we do, it's not much, but we found out this weekend that he has a fake ID that he has been using to buy his drink - and drink for friends. He has been bollocked and the ID has been confiscated, but that doesn't stop me worrying what's going to be next.

Oh, and he has been smoking too - apparently one of our local kebab shops will deliver cigarettes along with your filthy food, and don't ask for proof of age. I found this out when I heard him come home late, after a party, and he went out onto the patio, and smoked under my open bedroom window - and then tried to lie about it when I went downstairs to confront him. He thought I would not stop to wonder what was in the hand oh-so-casually concealed behind his back.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 16/12/2014 20:35

All part of the joys of parenthood. DD has just come back from having major facial surgery, and looking very woebegone. Her cheeks are swollen, her mouth is hanging open and she's dribbling. She also has a cough, which isn't much fun. Coupled with her large expressive eyes, I am torn between tears and laughter. But I mustn't do either.

BrockAuLit · 16/12/2014 21:10

Of course, full respect to parents with seriously ill kids. But in terms of minor gripes like cold/d&v etc, far worse is having to look after a fit and healthy toddler when you're ill yourself. Absolutely worst part of parenting for me.

grumpalumpgrumped · 16/12/2014 21:14

Totally agree, I hate it when they are ill. Oddly (and I am ashamed to admit this) I tend to only really worry about DS1 (6) as DS2 (3) is far more robust, where as DS1 get everything and really bad.

Had 2 very scary illness moments (1 with Ds1 at 5 mths and bronchiolitis - going blue around lips and 1 with DS2 when we thought he had meningitis - - I did worry about him then, was the most scared I have ever been)

Buttercup syrup is amazing for a cough, and I have been know to give piriton and calpol at night to aid sleep, dry up secretions etc. (disclaimer not a doctor - was advice given by a pharmacist)

clam · 16/12/2014 21:20

Dd was quite seriously ill in GOSH when she was around 4yo. That was a huge worry, of course, but we were guided by the medics in all aspects of her care and she made a full recovery.

She is now 16, and what I'm finding far harder to deal with is the chronic fatigue-type illness she's suffering from. I dread going in to her room in the mornings to get her up for school, on tenterhooks as to whether she'll wake up "normally" or wimper and wail and cover her eyes, in which case I know it means yet another day off with her sparko and droopy and faint and shaky, with a pounding head. She's started in the 6th form and every day missed is a big deal.

MissYamabuki · 16/12/2014 21:31

YANBU. When they are ill and you are ill at the same time it's the pits (think tummy bugs). Worst for me though are the powerlessness of asthma attacks and the utter panic of croup Sad

I wish I could get into"the zone" like a pp and be all calm and adult and efficient - in reality I'm more of a headless chicken Grin.

grumpalumpgrumped · 16/12/2014 21:33

My DH who is the king of lack of emotion is superb in a crisis, calm and in control. It's amazing. I tend to get emotional but still in control if that makes sense.

MummyBeerest · 16/12/2014 21:35

Yanbu.

DD had the flu last week and is still recovering. Not sick but still very tired, grumpy, not really eating.

I'm going to lose my shit. It makes me feel horrible because I'm so impatient and stir crazy.

Sirzy · 16/12/2014 21:40

Clam - has she been tested for glandular fever?

LakeFlyPie · 16/12/2014 21:42

YANBU, I agree its stressful.
I find it a bit easier now DC are old enough to verbalise what's wrong with them but it's still tiring and sets my nerves jangling.

I take my hat off to parents of DC with chronic and/or serious illnesses when that's their reality day in and day out.

Devilforasideboard · 16/12/2014 21:43

Clam, I had post-viral fatigue syndrome in my teens and missed virtually all of secondary school. It has made not one jot of difference - when I got better I did an access course and went to university. Hang on in there. Off-topic but I wanted to share something positive with you Thanks

SaucyJack · 16/12/2014 21:44

I quite like it when DD1 is a bit under the weather Shock

She just curls up on the sofa next to me and doesn't bother arguing with every last little thing.

I've never had one that's been properly ill tho- or even properly injured.

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 16/12/2014 21:45

It's the abundance of bodily fluid that I hate such as Phlegm, sick, poo and sweat.

OP posts:
CFSKate · 16/12/2014 21:46

clam - if she has CFS/ME, if you run into any difficulties with the school, some of these links may help.
www.tymestrust.org/pdfs/gpguidev2.pdf
investinme.org/ voicesfromtheshadowsfilm.co.uk/
almost at the end, a letter to educators

idtwinplustoddlermum · 16/12/2014 21:46

Hi superstar my daughter has had a horrendous dry cough for around 2 weeks. So much so she's been sick as a result, she's only 4 and her little face all flushed with exhaustion in the middle of the night (mine too! Baby twins caughing and spluttering on and off but not so bad). Point is, have been reminded by a friend the magic powers of Vicks Vapo Rub. Seriously amazing, I chose to rub a little on her chest at bedtime but am told equally/more effective to rub on soles of feet! She stopped coughing within 30 mins and we have had 2 night's sleep! It is truly fairy dust! (Not for under 2's though). X

Aherdofmims · 16/12/2014 21:54

YY to always wishing there was a grown up around!

My dd has always been difficult to nurse (and bless her she was a seriously ill baby) because her reaction to all illness - including minor cold, coughs or whatever it might be - has always been not to sleep much night or day.

Baby ds is already showing signs of being completely different and sleeping more, if anything, during minor illness. It makes such a difference! This is how my Mum said we were as children but I found it so hard to believe.

clam · 16/12/2014 22:48

Thanks all - she's been tested for everything in the book, and the best the main consultant paed can come up with is migraine. It's not ME/CFS apparently, because she's totally well and energetic in between episodes. It was all triggered (we think) by a severe allergic reaction she had around 3 years ago, since when she's just not been right. Been tested for allergies too, but nothing out-of-the-ordinary coming up.

Her previous school (and current one, so far) have always been very understanding about it all, but there was a definite impact on her GCSEs. Who knows what will happen with her AS's? Sad

I just want her to be well and happy all the time.

clam · 16/12/2014 22:51

And thanks for the links. Just checking them out...

ReindeerBollocks · 16/12/2014 22:57

Looking after a sick child is extremely hard.

DC1 is chronically ill and we spend a lot of time in hospital. We try and do stuff with our lives to but the illness tends to dominate all big decisions.

DC1's illness is progressive so every time he's ill it's just a step further down the road. There are days I get so terribly sad and I cocoon within our four walls and be very anti-social, until I feel strong enough.

DC1 is now of an age where he understands that this illness will one day cause his death and he has asked how long he has - there isn't an answer - it depends on how bad he gets.

Nothing in life will ever compare to worrying about DC1's health.

Stormingateacup · 16/12/2014 22:59

Looking after a healthy child when you're sick is worse IMO